coming out?

[wardell]

Hi I'm 29 and I live with my mother for medical reasons, anyway I told her that I like to look at gay porn and I think I might be gay or bi. She asked me do I want to have sex with men. The answer is yes But I chickened out and said no she told it ok to be gay and that her love is unconditional so why am I so afraid to tell the truth

 

[topdog]

Just last month Tonib brought up a similar experience he had with his parents over the Christmas holidays. It sounds like you have a wise and loving mother who wants to know the real you.

My own mother was not so understanding (but that was 25 years ago). However, when I told my grandmother, her response was, "Oh, honey, we always knew you were special." :heart:

 

[Otage]

Hi I'm 29 and I live with my mother for medical reasons, anyway I told her that I like to look at gay porn and I think I might be gay or bi. She asked me do I want to have sex with men. The answer is yes But I chickened out and said no she told it ok to be gay and that her love is unconditional so why am I so afraid to tell the truth

Maybe you fear it will change things, how she sees you. It can, but i doubt it, and if it will, it will only be better. And seems like she knows already, so.. But you don't have to force yourself, let this new step forward sink in a bit if it feels like that.

 

[Urban]

Coming out to your mother is a wonderful thing, and her acceptance is even better. But obviously there's something in you that is still holding back.

Maybe it has nothing to do with being gay. Is it possible that you just feel uncomfortable talking to your mother about sex?

Or maybe you just have not cleared that final hurdle in your own mind yet.

 

[wardell]

it's not the topic of sex that's the problem. she taught me that sex is ok to talk about. my father died when I was little, so I went to her with all my questions growing up. I would like to come out but don't know how but a part of me says don't do it. I don't know that to do

 

[garth33]

it's not the topic of sex that's the problem. she taught me that sex is ok to talk about. my father died when I was little, so I went to her with all my questions growing up. I would like to come out but don't know how but a part of me says don't do it. I don't know that to do

That part of you nags you thinking your parents would be "disappointed". Get over that Wardell - thats how you (and I) were raised. Your dad has passed away (may he rest in peace my friend) and your mom has given you an unconditional love pass - that's a green light for you to explore! So go for it.

My honest advice is just spare Mom the details (i.e. watching gay porn) while you get things figured out for yourself. She has already let you know she won't bat an eye the day you walk in to introduce her to someone you think is special - and if your dad only wanted you to be happy he'll be smiling at you from somewhere else too...

So go for it buddy - you can do it!

peace!
g33

 

[wardell]

I did it I came out to my mother she said she still loves me and always will and nothing will change I'm so happy I'm out I can't believe I'm out I did it

 

[Otage]

:thumbs up::cheers::applause:arty:

 

[Urban]

Oh, yeah! Congrats, Bud!

 

[jw4833]

I'm happy to hear that all of you had pretty good coming out stories...however...I remember when my mother approached me about whether I was gay due to the fact that the older guy that I was dating at the time would call her house constantly while I was visiting which made my mom very suspicious. Anyway..this particular time..it was just her and I in the house when she confronted me. Once I revealed I was...she told me too that it was okay and that she would not share anything that her and I spoke about with none of the family members and that she would leave that to me whenever I was ready to do so. Unfortunately...no sooner after I left her home..she had not only contacted all of my siblings ...but she also contacted other family members as well to "out" me. Afterwards...I was outcast from the family for many years. It was not until the past couple of years after my mom's death was I invited to holiday dinners with my siblings. However, after being outcast for all of those years and still knowing that the majority of my siblings are very homophobic...I have declined to break bread amongst them. Nonetheless...I still think it is amazing and awesome that those of you who have family members who are able to support you as being a great thing.

 

[bigvern]

I think I told my Aunt when I was drunk (My parents are dead as is 90% of my family) which considering where I live & the religious beliefs,I think it went quite well...lol