Condoms in the news

[jeansGuyOZ]

A couple of major news items recently have concerned use - or non-use - of condoms:

One, though not gay-related, is the news that the Swedish prosecutor is dropping the charges against Julian Assange, founder of Wikileaks. He, you will recall,was accused of having sex with two Swedish women, the sex originally being consensual but becoming non-consensual when he refused to wear a condom.

The other case, which could have BIG implications for gay men, is this one from Australia. Since I'm not allowed to post a link, find it by doing a search with the terms "triple-J rape condoms". This guy, it would seem, did everything right. He met his sex partner through Recon; they agreed to sex, and that they would use condoms for the sex, despite the fact that each told the other they believed they were HIV-negative; they fucked, and halfway through the act the other guy blithely informed him that he was HIV positive and had removed the condom.

The positive (no pun unintented) thing to come out of this was that the victim reported it to the police who apparently took it very seriously and did a proper through investigation without being in the least judgmental of the victim's lifestyle.

 

[W!nston]

I believe 'stealthing' is absolutely rape. Unless both parties consent to condom-free sex AND sharing bodily fluids it is rape. Period. What a horrible thing to do. The rapist in this story deserves prison.

Members are allowed to post links to external web pages as long as the links are anonymized. This is a security measure for our forum. It isn't too much to ask. If you are not sure how to anonymize a link just ask any Mod or check the Tutorial section for help.

I googled this story and found this link: (which is anonymized as required by forum rules)

http://anon.projectarchive.net/?htt...ustralias-first-stealthing-court-case/8534190

 

[brmstn69]

He met his sex partner through Recon; they agreed to sex, and that they would use condoms for the sex, despite the fact that each told the other they believed they were HIV-negative; they fucked, and halfway through the act the other guy blithely informed him that he was HIV positive and had removed the condom.

Call me psycho or whatever, but had it happened to me, that muther-fucker would have been dead. The only question would be do I let him off easy with a bullet to the brain, or do I slowly beat him to death?

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

^^ You're psycho.

No, maybe he would have deserved that, but it might have merely got him sympathy. Letting the justice system deal with it is the way to go.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Well, whatever. I didn't post this news item just to say isn't this disgusting, this man should be killed/beaten/shot or what-have-you. The point was to show that, while this "stealthing" thing has been going on for a while, it's now out of the closet, as it were,

It's a bit like rape itself. It wasn't so long ago that if a woman was raped, some people would hold her partly responsible for "making herself available" - by which they meant exercising her freedom to walk down the street or to wear what she wanted. Attitudes have changed, or at least they have in most countries. Later on we still had the controversy over whether there was such a thing as rape inside marriage. Some used to say that the husband has the right to expect sex from his wife, "conjugal rights". We don't say that anymore. "No" means no, married or not.

Of course it would help if so many gays themselves were not guilty of romanticising the idea of playing the victim, even talking about "wanting to be raped" (a non sequitur if ever there was one). I have vented steam at guys in chat rooms who talk like this, and found that most of the time I am considered just a party pooper so I keep my mouth shut (or my fingers from the keyboard). When you get so many guys saying "rape me, breed me", it's not surprising that some will see that as meaning that just because a man is gay and likes the passive position that he wants to submit to anything. Not that that excuses it of course.