Effeminate speaking

[Lucas88]

I've always been curious, why do some gay men speak with an effeminate tone and lisp? Do you do it without thinking about it or do you make an effort to speak that way?
I've always had a very deep traditional male voice and I would really have to go out of my way to speak like the stereotypical gay guy perpetuated in the media and popular culture.

 

[Lucas88]

Mostly bottom.

 

[Lucas88]

The thing is, I am only attracted to masculine guys (like myself) who like to take charge. Which means I am attracted to guys who like to be tops. Which means I have to be the bottom (I don't necessarily prefer to bottom).

Don't get me wrong, I love effeminate gays, I think they are really fun. But in my mind, gays who speak effeminately don't do it naturally, they more or less put on a show to match their lifestyle. In which case I am wondering: doesn't it get tiresome to distort your tone and not speak in your natural voice?
Or is it that your natural voice? Help me understand! Don't we have any effeminate gays here?

 

[skyward]

I lived with a very effeminate guy for a year. The first time he brought his girlfriend over to stay the night I was in shock. Over time, I got to know him really well. He was straight. No hint of romantic or even real sexual interest in men.

So it's not necessarily a gay thing.:thinking:

Centuries ago it was normal for all men of a certain social class in wealthy European countries to wear dainty wigs and make-up. And frilly clothes. What's happened in a sense is over time we have simply become more backward. :rofl:

Back in the day, this guy would have been classed as one who has 'arrived'.)

 

[Lucas88]

I know that some straight guys also speak like that. In fact, one of my closest friends is straight (I'm pretty sure) and he speaks very effeminately. We went to an all-gay house party one time and the gays there actually thought he was the gay one and I was the straight one
But it's no surprise that, in today's society, speaking effeminately is much more common for gay men than for straight men. I'm just really curious why.

 

[HustleMe15]

Wow, that is some deep thought going on there! I don't think for the slightest bit that speaking with a lisp has anything to do with being gay. One of my best friends who is just a couple years younger than I am has a lisp, and he is VERY straight. But because of its association with being gay he is constantly being thought of as gay and has a hard time dating girls because of it. He is going to a speech therapist a couple times a week to improve his speech and get rid of the lisp. I've known him for about three years now and his speech has gotten a lot better, but you'll still notice it the first time you talk with him.

The lisp is really just an issue with the person's tongue being in the wrong place when talking, and that is what the therapy works on, putting the tongue in the right spot while talking. And's is really a shame that people will automatically associate a lisp with being gay. If you got to know my friend you'd realize that he is a pretty cool guy who got dealt a bad break.

 

[Shelter]

I'm a bottom as well and I don't think, that I have an effeminate voice or an affected manner. I think I'm a normal young man as all the other young men here too - but I'm gay - and that's all.

But sure I know gays which act in this affected manner as gays always are revealed in these gay clichés. I always must say that I find it distressing.

 

[Otage]

I have actually wandered the same, that how come so many gay guys talk effeminetly? Is it made on purpose or does it just comes? I used to find it bit annoying, but like almost always, when getting to know people with some feature that you don't like, and you see they can be very nice, you get over it and you don't even notice it specially anymore.

And I don't know any straight guy who talks like that (obviously there are them) , so if their natural talk sounds effeminate, do they force it to be stereotypical male? Is the talking manner learned thing? Everybody can talk effeminetly if they like... But yeah Does it just simply feel more natural to some?

 

[AdenaTG]

I wish I was more effeminate and girly talking, god that would be great and make my transition to becoming a woman more easy but of course I have my deep manly voice and when I am at gay clubs most guys think I should be at the straight bar because I am manly man, damn it life sucks when you are a girl trapped in a boys body, lol

 

[xenos]

Interesting. In my experience bottoms are more effeminate, but I don't think my biography would considered to be reliable as an empirical study./QUOTE]

Interesting. My own experience has been exactly the opposite. I am not especially attracted to fem guys but the few I have bedded were adamantly not bottoms.
:thinking::thinking::thinking:

 

[Lucas88]

Thanks for the inputs. I was really hoping to hear from some effeminate-speaking guys, but I guess I will have to find some irl

 

[BadMan125]

People are who they are... that's all I'll say about it. Respect the gay/bi fem guys though. Nothing wrong with it. Usually guys that speak very high and have a lisp in the South are straight but it depends. You can never explain someone's sexuality by the way they talk.

 

[naughty_gam]

Oh the sorrow,
Oh the pain.
When you see Tarzan,
But hear Jane!

 

[topdog]

I think that language is primarily cultural. It doesn't matter if you are a top or a bottom, you are going to assimilate the dialect of groups with whom you associate. We also adjust our language for what fits at home, work, or a night out with the girls.

 

[turkeyman]

Who cares

In my mind who is to say what a persons voice means. I think that everyone has the voice that they were given and who is to say what is NORMAL. I SAY LIVE AND LET LIVE.