Ex's trying to disturb your relationships?

[Otage]

Would you dare to contact some of your ex whom you still fancy, even though you know hi's in relationship? I seem to get that from my ex's, even though I have politely replied to them, that I'm happily in relationship. It's like that has just boosted up the "non-flirting" messaging etc. Almost like it made them realize, that their time ended and I wouldn't be available anymore (some quite straightly didn't wanted to settle back then, but they liked me a lot)I've always made clear, that I don't stay friends after relationship ends, but I didn't realize I would have to start blocking some numbers... Feels kinda rude and annoying:thinking: Or should I think these attempts as some kinda last man stands, and let them go gently?

 

[W!nston]

I try to avoid 'burning bridges'. I'm not sure if that phrase is familiar in other countries but it means cutting off all avenues of communication with others.

I have done it a couple of times in my past but it was in extreme cases. If there is hostility to the point conversation is no longer possible and only melodramatic theatrics, arguments, confrontational episodes were to be had.

The reason to avoid 'burning bridges' is one never knows when they will find themsevles in need of a former contact.

But if you 'burned a bridge', Otage, I have to believe you tried everything to avoid it and the 'burning' was your last resort. So you probably did exactly what I would have done

 

[Stonecold]

Otage said

whom you still fancy

by fancy do you mean they really like you and would be happy to be just friends or do you mean by fancy they can't resist you and would try and do anything to get you back.

 

[Otage]

Otage said

by fancy do you mean they really like you and would be happy to be just friends or do you mean by fancy they can't resist you and would try and do anything to get you back.

Brolly that they can't resist me, since I've made clear I don't wanna stay friends, and who would wanna be friends with someone so badly, even though they have their own friends. I'm so irresistible Or they just want the apple now that it's forbidden.

And about burning bridges, with relationships(romantic/sexual ones), I always 'burn the bridges' when it's over. I do it honestly, in a way that all guestions will be answered for both, and that nothing is left to linger. I don't want old relationships affecting current ones, like one's ex's might make their current boyfriend bit jealous. And I know that sometimes the time goldens up the memories, and you may forgot why it all ended back then.

And to be honest, the memories have become bit golden for one of those ex's, who have been quite keenly in touch. But he was the biggest a-hole of them all, but still... One only wants to remember the good times. That's maybe the reason, why I'm bit annoyed by these advances. But no worry, I'm happy with my bf, and would never cheat on him. I love him:heart:

 

[Stonecold]

Then whatever they do is of no consequence, you might be such a good person that giving you up as a lover and then on top of that loosing you even as a friend is really hard and devasting. I would try to be understanding and as kind as possible to them. The main thing though would be to consider your bf's feelings the most and if the x crosses a line and doesn't respect your new relationship or your bf burn that bridge any way you have to.

 

[havocs]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that they just want to relive the good times. I tend to try and be on good terms when a relationship ends but sometimes it is better to end all communication. If you have no interest in any kind of relationship with this guy then I suggest you make it very clear you are not interested and then stop replying to him. By saying you are happily in a relationship makes it sound like you would feel different if you werent in a relationship.

 

[Otage]

Good points from you all. I understand that realising the fact, that you can't anymore have some one and you realise you've lost him for good is pretty devastating. And I've told them that I'm in relationship, and have stated that I don't keep my ex's as friends.

The messaging is quite obvious, but not straightforward. See threw, but still not saying things out loud as they are. Maybe so, that if I just said straight what I think (politely ofc), they can say, that where did I get that idea from. But, I get my message threw, and they can start moving on once they don't have to live in false hope regarding me, and they can use their defence, that they don't know where I'm coming from. I can more than willingly be the one, who "misunderstood" things. I think everybody wins that way. Well, not win, but help everybody move on with their things. I'm not a ship and I don't need an anchor, and neither are they