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This Man's Fiancé Is a Former Marine They Just Got a Marriage License in Texas
Esquire | BY MARK WARREN | JUL 2, 2015 @ 1:06 PM
One week ago, this would not have been possible.
This story just made me feel good all over :big hug:
Esquire | BY MARK WARREN | JUL 2, 2015 @ 1:06 PM
One week ago, this would not have been possible.
Jonathon Means (left) & Fiancé Jason White (right)
Two days ago, at two in the afternoon, Jonathan Means, 28, an eighth-generation native of San Saba County, Texas, and his fiancé Jason White, 36, a former Special Forces Recon Marine with six combat deployments during his military career, walked into the San Saba County Clerk's office and announced that they wished to buy a marriage license. Just two hours before, I had called the same clerk's office and had been told that they had no plans to start issuing licenses to same-sex couples. "There were news crews there," Jonathan told me yesterday. "As people found out that we planned to go home and get our license, we started being contacted by attorneys all over the state telling us that if we were denied that they were going to provide us our defense pro bono. I can't tell you how many calls I got from lawyers and law firms just giving us advice and telling us what to do and what not to do.
"I know that they [the San Saba County Clerk's office] received several phone calls from not only the media but also civil rights groups. The Service Members Legal Defense Network sent a letter to the County Clerk's office, saying that you have two people coming in there, one of them has quite a military background, he is highly-decorated, if you deny them this license then you are going to face a lot of scrutiny and you're going to face a lawsuit in federal court, maybe more than one."
As of yesterday, according to an Esquire.com survey of county clerk's offices throughout Texas, at least 60 of the state's 254 counties were still not in compliance with the law and last Friday's decision by the U.S. Supreme Court in the Obergefell v. Hodges decision. Some of their reluctance may be owed to the opinion issued last Sunday evening by Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, which held that if any clerk objected on the basis of religious conviction to issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, then the State of Texas stood behind them. Except the State of Texas was not behind them in any meaningful way, leaving the counties open to costly lawsuits and damages, with no legal cover whatsoever. As this week began, dozens of county clerks were confused and in a state of legal limbo, torn between an oath to follow the United States Constitution and a tenuous legal opinion from their own attorney general. They vented among themselves, via email. "HELP!" Brewster County Clerk Berta Rios Martinez wrote. "I just had my first gay couple come in for a marriage license and I ran them off!! … Did I do right? HELP!!!"
"The attorney general basically told the county clerks if you don't want to follow the Supreme Court decision, go right ahead, but you're on your own," Means said. "Cover your own ass, if you'll pardon my French. But that's what the attorney general was telling them. And that's why Jason and I both were saying, 'This is absolutely absurd.' And the fact that San Saba County, my hometown, was not issuing at the time—I knew that they would issue us a license, I knew in my heart that they would do the right thing.
"This is a little town, this is where I grew up, my mother worked in the courthouse for years, until we moved to the Austin area when I was in high school. My grandmother took her place in the courthouse and worked there for a number of years as well. So I know all these people there. I know the people that work in the county clerk's office. I know Kim Wells, the clerk. She's a very sweet woman, you know. And I did not want anyone to poke and prod and patronize her, because I knew that she was already feeling enough pressure, and she didn't quite know what to do. They just did not prepare for this. Whether they should've or not, they simply didn't. Most counties, once they heard the Supreme Court ruling, knew that they had to start issuing same-sex marriage licenses, like, now. Any minute now, someone could come in and get one—in Austin there was a line around the block just after the ruling—but San Saba is a quiet, sleepy town and they were not expecting anybody to do that. So they were not going to even get ready for it.
"We got to town and I met up with some friends of mine in the park to prepare ourselves to go up there. We knew it was going to be a scene, and I was nervous. Jason and I pulled up and once the news crews—from Dallas, Waco—realized who we were, they sprinted towards us and followed us up the stairs, into the courthouse and into the clerk's office.
"I'm so proud of him. Jason had one hell of a military career. He had a big group of friends, a lot of other gay Marines. He was in the Corps for ten years. He was a Special Forces Recon Marine, and had six deployments. He was awarded the Bronze Star. The Navy Commendation. The Navy Achievement Medal. All for valor. The Purple Heart. He saw an awful lot of combat. He fought for that Constitution, you know?
"We're at least eight generations in San Saba, the county seat of San Saba County, on the San Saba River. I knew my great grandmother—my Mimi. She passed away in 2013. I knew her mother, my great-great-grandmother, who lived until I was a child, passing along many stories and family lore. They were all born, raised, and died in San Saba. So this goes very, very deep.
"Jason originally is from Mesquite, which is a Dallas suburb, and they moved to East Texas, the Athens area. His family is very supportive. They're just like any family, especially being from a small town. [Being gay] is very foreign to them at first. Both his mother and his grandmother were very supportive. They welcomed me into the family. Both of his sisters and his aunts, everybody was very welcoming toward me. I am the first person that he brought home. And he was the first person that I took home to my family. My family is very supportive as well. I was terrified for so many years, I made such a big deal about coming out to them, and bringing Jason home to my Thanksgiving and all that, but what it boiled down to is that nobody really gave a shit. They were completely cool with it. I think you can say that attitudes are changing.
"We met in Austin in December 2012. He had just gotten home from his final deployment days before we met. The minute he got back to the States he flew directly to Austin to open the Brass House, which is the business he owns. That's when we met. He had to go back to San Diego to finish out his time with the Marine Corps, but by June of 2013 he was back in Austin for good, and we've been together ever since. Of course we're going to get married.
"Back at the clerk's office, Kim was very friendly, she was very welcoming, saying, 'Hey guys, how's it going?' By this time they were ready for us. We told her that we were there to apply for a license, and she said, 'Excellent!'
"She told us that they hadn't had the proper paperwork before, but that morning she had gotten the revised forms. And I said, 'That's great, we brought some just in case y'all didn't have any, being as that was the main reason y'all were telling the media that y'all couldn't do the license.'
"She was a little nervous with all the cameras, and I don't blame her. I was probably more nervous than she was. When I filled out the form, I was almost shaking. There was a lot of pressure, and a lot of people watching. I didn't want that. I know that it's a big story, and a huge leap for Central Texas, and for that county and what-not, but I did not want anything sensationalized, and I did not want the clerk and employees in the courthouse to feel in any way uncomfortable because of what we were doing. That's where I'm from, they all know my family, my grandmothers both live there still. I have aunts and cousins and all kinds of relatives who live there. All my friends, and their families. That's their home. I didn't want to turn all of that into a circus.
"But Kim Wells was wonderful. She said, 'Best of luck, guys. I wish y'all happiness. Congratulations!' And that was it. Just as if we were anybody else. And I want that to be known, please, because the first press headlines that came out on San Saba not issuing licenses, they were kind of bashing her, and while I didn't agree with her initial refusal to issue licenses, no gay couple had actually gone in to get one yet. She simply wasn't prepared, and she also wasn't prepared to have news cameras in her face. We don't get things like that happening very often. But she was very nice. She asked after my mom.
"To be openly gay in a small town like that is pretty rare, especially when my Great Aunt Lolly was coming up. Lolly graduated from San Saba High School in 1968, and she came out the next year. Very brave. I cherish her stories. Lolly passed away last October. She'd had a partner of twenty-nine years, having left San Saba for the Houston area. She was a pioneer. She had a girlfriend when she was in college at Angelo State University in San Angelo, and the administrators found out about it and they were called in to the dean's office one afternoon, and were told, 'Y'all can either stop what you're doing or you can pack your stuff and go.' And Lolly being Lolly, they packed up and left. That's another reason I am very proud that we got our marriage license in our home county—if Lolly had still been alive, she and her partner would have done the very same thing.
"We want to have the wedding in San Saba. Of course it's not going to be at a church. We're looking at having it at a nice spot on the river."
As of this morning, six days after the Obergefell v. Hodges decision, most Texas counties (save for a dozen or so that just won't pick up the phone) seem to be planning on starting to issue licenses soon if they are not already. As for Attorney General Paxton, this whole charade might just have been an elaborate diversionary tactic. He's in a heap of trouble.
Jason White (left) & Fiancé Jonathon Means (right)
SOURCE
This story just made me feel good all over :big hug:
