Gay Clubs/Bars/Hangouts?

[theseeker]

Where do you guys normally go to meetup with other gays? Not for sex or anything like that, but like get to know people, make friends and stuff. I know some of you would be suggesting bars and clubs, but I'm not the clubbing type - loud, noisy and dark - you can't talk much anyway. Are there any other avenues I can consider going? Any places where gays typically hangout often or somewhat like that?

But since we're on the topic, are there any differences between a regular and a gay bar (other than the clientele of course)? Like do some of them do kinky shit and just make out right there and then?

Oh, and if anyone's suggesting book club.... fuck you, I ain't that type either!:rofl:

 

[Sinnerr]

I think there are gay\gayfriendly venues of many kinds. But it depends where you live. I know gay club scene in Prague pretty well and I can say that except for gay saunas and dungeon styled clubs (where patrons look like they jumped out of Tom of Finland's drawings) everything (cafes, bars, discos) is opened for anyone and frequently visited by straight people too. And yes they look pretty similar to any cafe, disco or bar. Patrons look quite normal too - just like people you see in the streets. Maybe a bit more hipster or metrosexual.
Also It's not a deal to visit any cafe or restaurant with another gay guy(s). (Only some tourists from Russia or so may be shocked a bit :rofl: )

But I'm not able to advise you where to go (unless you're from or heading to Prague).
So try google, bitch!

 

[tonka]

In my city, the number of gay clubs has shrunk a lot. It's not that there are fewer gays, but more and more guys hook up online or with phone apps. A lot of strait clubs have a weekly gay night. There are also a lot more "gayish" places. Restaurants, bars, taverns. They are not gay, but do have lots of gay patrons. More neighborhood places where it's easier to meet people.

Another option is something called "meet up". It's a site where people can join a group for monthly meet ups. I have a good lesbian friend who moved back to Boston after many years. She joined a south of Boston lesbian meet up group, and has a wide new group of friends. She also met her girlfriend there. It worked really well for her. One reason it worked so well is that it was a new group, so everyone was starting fresh.

And you asked about kinky bars? Last summer my lesbian pal went to Provincetown (P town) for the weekend. She and her gay male friend went into a bar. A normal p town gay bar. There was an upstairs, but there was a bouncer restricting access. The bouncer took a break, so they scurried upstairs (of course) to find kink! Flogging, big dildos, various other kinky sex.
That's actually unusual for my state. We're mostly too uptight for that.

 

[theseeker]

And you asked about kinky bars? Last summer my lesbian pal went to Provincetown (P town) for the weekend. She and her gay male friend went into a bar. A normal p town gay bar. There was an upstairs, but there was a bouncer restricting access. The bouncer took a break, so they scurried upstairs (of course) to find kink! Flogging, big dildos, various other kinky sex.
That's actually unusual for my state. We're mostly too uptight for that.

Oh, ok...... Nah I don't think I wanna go there, not in the foreseeable future at least. Just curious since from what I heard, ALL gay bars are kinky bars (may need to get my sources checked )

You guys talked about sites/apps? Any good ones to recommend? Any advice in socializing in general? It's..... just that I don't have many friends (and none at all I think I can count on), have got 'past issues' that totally destroyed my self-esteem, am generally introverted and totally suck at socializing, and still rather freaked out by the whole homosexuality issue. I wanna go out there and make some new friends, friends I can count on, but I don't know how to go about doing it.

 

[taplan]

I stopped going to gay bars. The choice of bars in my town is limited, and you keep seeing the same old crowd.

 

[tonka]

Most gay bars I have been to (and I have no intention of trying to estimate the number) are not kinky. At least not here in the states. It's very much the exception.

Apps are pretty much for hooking up, as far as I know. Sites...depends on where you are. Google "meet up" and see what's in your city.
There's also joining groups by interest. Some interests will attract a more gay and gay friendly crowd.

 

[Sinnerr]

Nothing is easier than to google "gay club (bar) + your city or area". I think most of bars have websites, fb pages, etc... with photos from past actions, future programs, drinks menus,... So you can easily make a picture to tell if a venue is your cup of coffee or not.

 

[puckinla]

In large cities, there are gay meditation groups, gay hiking groups, gay mens gatherings, gay and lesbian centers that offer a variety of events.