Gay Community Superficial? Feeling Pressure To Look Good???

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Do you think they are all 50 year olds with 50 inch waists? Nope. There are plenty of jaw dropping guys involved in the leather scene including bubbly lads. No worries about what your choice of ensemble is for the evening. In fact the less you wear the better. (just don't order some frou-frou drink like a Pink Lady or you'll get thrown out.)

He's right dude... it's another world and much more interesting and very well behaved for the most of them... Alex and I loves going in theme bar like those ones... they're much more down to earth than those high pitched girly bars. And if we ever need a third wheel for a sex trip that where we get them...

 

[gb2000ie]

And may be some of you guys are right, that’s the more the ‘gay scene’ – but like where else am I going to find other people from the gay community??? (I’m 20, highly inexperienced)

You don't need to find people in the gay community, you need to find gay people, and they are EVERYWHERE! Any time you are in a room with 20 men, the chances are very high one of them is gay.

What ever interests you have, there are gay people who share your interests, so if you just hand out with groups who share your interests you will come into contact with gay men, and better still, gay men who share your interests.

It’s great to say ‘be who you are, do what makes you feel comfortable’, and I get that a lot. But as a young man, growing up in today’s modern society, there’s like underlying pressure to look good – and even look even better especially because you’re gay.

There is nothing modern about peer pressure, it has ALWAYS been there. What is in fassion and what is 'in' changes, but the fact that something is always 'in' does not. There has always been pressure to blend in, and there always will be.

A part of the process of becoming an adult has ALWAYS been to break free from expectations and just be yourself. That is the same today, so if you feel you don't want to blend in THEN DON'T!

You have the power, society won't change just because you want it to. You have to choose to do what you want, or to surrender control of your life to the mob.

I think the people in the gay scene don’t want to hang around you if your hair isn’t sleek or your shoes don’t match your outfit. Does that bother me? Yes. Should it? No. Can I get over it? I try but I can’t. I just find it hard to say ‘fuck them, there are better people’ - I haven’t met many of those better people in life.

If you hang out in the gay scene you will meet people in the gay scene - if you don't YOU WON'T!

You choose where to socialise, if your current choice doesn't suit you, change your choice. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but the world will not change because you want it to, YOU have to take the initiative.

I’m sitting here sighing at my computer, glad that I’m not out there in that dog eat dog world. I have many straight friends, not many gay friends mainly because I don’t like the scene. I really don’t know where else to look for like minded gay guys.

Stop looking and start just living. Depending on who you believe, between 4% and 10% of guys are gay, so you can't avoid them! Do things you like to do, hang out with like-minded people, and you can't but meet gay people!

B.

 

[brmstn69]

Another thing to remember about those catty little cunts, is that they end up wasting their youth being superficial bitches who alienate all the genuinely good people they meet only to become bitter, lonely old queens because their attitudes long ago destroyed any chance they ever had at a meaningful relationship with a decent person. All they have left in the end is a few old "friends" whom they can't stand because they are just like them, but tolerate because it's the closest thing to a relationship they have in an otherwise empty existence...

 

[prinz4ming]

Jus to play devils advocate here- If being superficial and under pressure to look good results in more gays getting into better health and more fit- isnt that a good thing?? We'll live longer than the stereotyped beer bellied unhealthy straight guy and it will be one step closer to our master plan of taking over the world!!! :devil::devil::devil:

PS- Of course I jest but I think there is a grain of truth in what Ive said- and that applies to everyone, not just gay guys. If societal norms and pressures result in a healthier population Im all for it. But like everything else as long as its within reasonable limits...

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Just to play devils advocate here- If being superficial and under pressure to look good results in more gays getting into better health and more fit- isnt that a good thing?? We'll live longer than the stereotyped beer bellied unhealthy straight guy and it will be one step closer to our master plan of taking over the world!!! :devil::devil::devil:

Well the action of taking care of oneself is very good indeed, however this post was mostly about the superficial attitude more than the action. Yes the gay community are the pioneer in many man's health behaviors which brought in 1994 the Metro Sexual sub-classification of man who cares about what they wear eat and do, however that stereotypical beer belied unhealthy straight guy is really a gross myth, while they don't have the same level of pampering than a gay dude, they are not all a bunch of dirty Daniel Boon running after raccoons to yet make himself another ugly hat LOL.

What's the definition of metro sexual? Some define metro sexual as "a straight man in touch with his feminine side". Others define it with more specificity, such as "a straight man, who lives in an urban environment, who is into designer clothes, art museums, musicals, and other non-macho pursuits." Behind all the definitions is that the metro sexual is a straight man, but he's interested in things that the stereotypical gay man is interested in.

It is not a secret that many girls loves gay dudes for the beauty and the care and awareness they have about a healthy appearance and healthy lifestyle. Many man have understood the trick of taking more particular care of themselves in order to be as popular as gay dudes among woman. And it works, however today the metro sexual appellation made place for a more suitable appellation "man's health" which has no pejorative labeling about a man being gay or effeminate because he cares for his appearances and health.

Now let be honest I hate that word "Metro sexual"

The word "metro sexual" calls people's sexuality into question again when really it shouldn't in this context. It's as simple as that. The things that metro sexuals are supposed to like, such as good clothes, art museums, and the theater, are the very things that I had thought just meant that you had class and cultural sophistication. Since when did all of these things become associated with one's sexuality?

By assigning sexuality to buying a good suit, you are creating a stigma where none existed before. Of course this new terms brought some funny definition; according to some dude on the net, metro sexual was someone who has books in his house and has actually read them. Okay! I thought a person who has books that he read was called "educated", not "metro sexual."

Do men have to eschew reading to prove that they're not gay? Marketing people are totally screwed in the head if they think the use of a new word like "metro sexual" will help them sell stuff. The average heterosexual guy does not want to be thought of as gay, or even feminine. If you imply some sort of gay sexual connotation to buying an expensive suit, I suspect that you will sell less expensive suits and not more of them. If you want to sell something to a man, you have to demonstrate how it will help him get sex with women, not how it will help him become like women.

Are you only a real man if you wear ratty old clothes and spend all your free time watching football on TV? This is what someone seems to be trying to tell us.

Now about the gays taking over the world... well I believe that they took over several social strata, but we still need the female organs to make more gays :rofl::rofl::rofl:

PS- Of course I jest but I think there is a grain of truth in what Ive said- and that applies to everyone, not just gay guys. If societal norms and pressures result in a healthier population Im all for it. But like everything else as long as its within reasonable limits...

Agreed :thumbs up:

 

[redbones111]

I thought these videos might be appropriate for this thread...


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[topdog]

... What's the definition of metro sexual? Some define metro sexual as "a straight man in touch with his feminine side". Others define it with more specificity, such as "a straight man, who lives in an urban environment, who is into designer clothes, art museums, musicals, and other non-macho pursuits." Behind all the definitions is that the metro sexual is a straight man, but he's interested in things that the stereotypical gay man is interested in.

... And it works, however today the metro sexual appellation made place for a more suitable appellation "man's health" which has no pejorative labeling about a man being gay or effeminate because he cares for his appearances and health...

By assigning sexuality to buying a good suit, you are creating a stigma where none existed before...

The way you define metrosexual is pretty much the way I've always seen it. Simply put, a guy who is into high end fashion, skin and hair care, and an appreciation for "the finer things" of life and is straight. Exhibit A: David Beckham. Exhibit B: Ryan Seacrest.

However I've never thought that it questioned anyone's sexuality. A metrosexual is a well groomed straight man. If he wasn't straight, he wouldn't be metrosexual - he would be gay. When you say that someone is metrosexual you are declaring their heterosexuality.

I've also never heard it used as a pejorative. For a woman he is the best of both worlds - he takes care of himself, shares your interests, and still wants to fuck you. The fact that these straight guys have appropriated a bit of gay sensibility is a good thing.

Of course I live in a big American city, so attitudes may differ in other places.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Not wanting to point the finger at anyone in particular, but isn't it slightly hypocritical of anyone who salivates over porn stars, with their young good looks, shaved bodies and toned muscular physiques, to complain about feeling pressure from other gay people to "conform", "look good" etc?

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

The way you define metrosexual is pretty much the way I've always seen it.....
I've also never heard it used as a pejorative.
....

Of course I live in a big American city, so attitudes may differ in other places.

I would say that here in Australia the word is now close to being considered a pejorative. But then it's often the case here that we are very quick to pick up on the latest "expression of the month" inventeed in New York or L.A., popularised on American television; the term is then thrust in our face by the media for a few months; then just as quickly it becomes almost an object of ridicule.

It's not so much that most people object to the kind of person you describe as "metrosexual". I certainly don't. It's more that we dislike this ridiculous idea that every little niche of human society has to have its own label. There have always been men around who were straight, were comfortable with other straights and with gays, and took care of themselves. It was just never necessary to have a special word for it until some wit thought "Hey, that's a cute word, it almost rhymes with heterosexual". It would be a bit like inventing a special word to describe people who don't go around committing murder.

 

[wildchild]

Not wanting to point the finger at anyone in particular, but isn't it slightly hypocritical of anyone who salivates over porn stars, with their young good looks, shaved bodies and toned muscular physiques, to complain about feeling pressure from other gay people to "conform", "look good" etc?

No, I had a feeling someone would bring this up sooner or later. What I was referring to was more making friends and fitting in, finding a partner. With that being said porn is fantasy only for me. Like I don't choose my friends based on how hot you are, hot big your cock is or how good looking you are. Also - porn is purely based on superficiality - I don't download porn because the porn star makes me laugh, makes me feel loved, or that I can hang out with. I download it because I find it hot and it gets me off. In real life, I choose friends, talk/meet people, and hang out with people based on them and not purely on asthetics.

They are two separate worlds in my opinion. My ex is hardly my super ideal hunk, not that he wasn't great, but his personality meshed well with mine and not like the usual bitchy queens I used to be around.

So I yeah, maybe selecting porn that only features hot guys that have to look a certain way does put pressure on others in the real world. But I don't understand how anyone can have porn standards when meeting people, becoming friends with or finding a partner.