Genophobia

[wardell]

is the physical or psychological fear of sexual relations or sexual intercourse Genophobia can induce panic and fear in individuals, much like panic attacks. People who suffer from the phobia can be intensely affected by attempted sexual contact or just the thought of it. The extreme fear can lead to trouble in romantic relationships. Those afflicted by genophobia may stay away from getting involved in relationships to avoid the possibility of intimacy. This can lead to feelings of loneliness. Genophobic people may also feel lonely because they may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their personal fears.

Symptoms of genophobia can be feeling of panic, terror, and dread. Other symptoms are increased speed of heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling/shaking, anxiety, sweating, crying, and avoidance of others

this is why I'm a virgin at 32 and I have never had a relationship. without going to a psychologist, or licensed counselor for therapy I don't know how to over come this

 

[ihno]

this is why I'm a virgin at 32 and I have never had a relationship. without going to a psychologist, or licensed counselor for therapy I don't know how to over come this

Don't google for illnesses. How do you know that you have this if you have never been to a psychologist?

 

[Otage]

I wouldn't diagnose any psychologigal state to myself. It might be mix of things etc. I mean everybody(at least most) are scared of first sexual encounter. Personally I couldn't even in my first times. I have slight fear of social situations, which I have pretty much overcome by just going to social situations. Now I enjoy them.

And psychology is slow. One can uncover much by himself by reading about stuff and reflecting. All psychologigal broplems don't need shrink. One can try to educate himself first and do bit self searching. If that don't work, then therapy. But I wouldn't try to diagnose myself. There is huge risk of wrong diagnose, making buch of bossiple smaller broplems into disorder.

Try to read a book about the matter from library? If I google any symptoms, I always end up with smth horrible, then it turns out to be a headeche caused by lack of water or smth else stupid At the same time, get a book of self confidence, or have to know oneself or smth like that? There are great books for getting more selfconfidence, and knowledge is power.

 

[wardell]

Don't google for illnesses. How do you know that you have this if you have never been to a psychologist?

I have been to one when I was a teen and had Insurance

 

[Otage]

I have been to one when I was a teen and had Insurance

Yea, but did he diagnoze you with this xeno thing? It's bit irrelevant to this particular situation, if you'we been to psychologist, but he hasn't diagnozed you with this.

 

[Stonecold]

I had a friend about 40 years ago that had this problem and the way it was handled was to find out his alcohol tolerance. He experimented at home or out with trusted friends to find what amount of drinks would give him a light buzz but still in control of his senses. I am sure this is not politically correct and some may find it wrong but I remember it worked for him.














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[wardell]

it is slowly getting better looking at porn has never been a problem. just in life. I use to have a panic attack just being near a shirtless guy but I don't know how I got over it

 

[Otage]

it is slowly getting better looking at porn has never been a problem. just in life. I use to have a panic attack just being near a shirtless guy but I don't know how I got over it

Actually for me porn made sex bit more terrifying. It sets the bar quite high, since porn actors are usually quite hung etc. Also masturbating to porn made it harder to at first in real sex, since one gets used to certain type of irritation. Watching some people doing sex and wanking is so different than actually doing it yourself. First sex experiences for me were actually disapointing. It took few times to "learn" the real thing, get used to it

And that panick feeling when being near shirtless guys, sounds familiar from school dressing rooms Want to look, but someone might find out I'm gay. Denying looking and at the same time being ashamed of one self, it's really uncomfortable. A situation where one doesn't want to be. But by excepting yourself, being proud and confident about yourself, that fixed it for me

 

[Kr8zy]

Think Otage is right. The problem sound to me like you are more concerned with your acceptance as a gay guy more than fear of sexual encounters.

Have you ever had a chance to go to a gay club or bar? I know you said you lived in Alabama, so you may not have had the most chances to experience something like that. Maybe you can take a vacation somewhere (as in totally different city) where you aren't worried about anyone knowing you, and you can try not having to hide the fact that you are gay.

 

[cockyblu]

okay lets break this one down shall we, and i'm looking for honest insightful answers.

1. From a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest; describe to me the level of fear you felt when being exposed to this situation?
2. Since when did you felt this irrational fear? Any specific age when you first felt it? what triggered it then?
3. Can you describe the physical symptoms associated with your fear? is your heart beating fast? do you feel clammy, nauseated or would likely faint based on your fear?
4. if you felt any of the symptoms that you posted, did it start the same year as your fear?
5. are there any concurrence of the symptoms?
6. what do you normally do so as not to experience the same level of fear when being exposed to this situation?
7. now, tell me about your childhood. Do you have siblings? How would you describe to me your parents and or siblings?

 

[wardell]

okay lets break this one down shall we, and i'm looking for honest insightful answers.

1. From a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest; describe to me the level of fear you felt when being exposed to this situation?
2. Since when did you felt this irrational fear? Any specific age when you first felt it? what triggered it then?
3. Can you describe the physical symptoms associated with your fear? is your heart beating fast? do you feel clammy, nauseated or would likely faint based on your fear?
4. if you felt any of the symptoms that you posted, did it start the same year as your fear?
5. are there any concurrence of the symptoms?
6. what do you normally do so as not to experience the same level of fear when being exposed to this situation?
7. now, tell me about your childhood. Do you have siblings? How would you describe to me your parents and or siblings?

1.i would say 8
2 and 3 .there was no specific age it stared the first time I was on Grinder a guy wanted to hook up for a bj then my hart started to beat very fast I felt sick and light headed

I think all of this started when I was in 2ed grard there was this girl 4 years older then me and she talked me in getting into the backseat of a car she pulled down her pants and want me to tucher her it felt wrong and i did not know how to get out of it luckly my mom called for me and i ran away. it took years for me to get over it and tell any one i think its just now coming up because i have never been in a sexual situation after that and when that guy asked for a bj the same feeling I felt with the girl came back. and now I think I missed my only chanse to be with a guy because he was the onul guy that would talk to me

 

[cockyblu]

Thanks for that post, that's very insightful.

Anyway, I have 3 additional questions if you don't mind answering them.
1. Do you have difficulty concentrating in anyway?
2. Are you having trouble sleeping, or instances where you suddenly woke up fearful?
3. If yes, how long have you been experiencing this?

 

[wardell]

Yes for number 1 I have ADHD and yes I have I hard time going to sleep for I fear I may not wake up. That started when my father become abusive I thought he was going the kill me in my sleep it got so bad that I put an alarm on my door so if any one came in I would wake up but now that he's dead I still have a hard time going to sleep.

 

[wardell]

Thanks for that post, that's very insightful.

Anyway, I have 3 additional questions if you don't mind answering them.
1. Do you have difficulty concentrating in anyway?
2. Are you having trouble sleeping, or instances where you suddenly woke up fearful?
3. If yes, how long have you been experiencing this?

so I answered your questions but whats all this for?

 

[cockyblu]

These questions that I've asked are used to determine the source of your problems. Usually they are quite similar with the questions being asked by a therapist.

Now my final question is this: when was the last time you consulted with a therapist? Is that after you were diagnosed with ADHD or after being diagnosed with phobia?

 

[wardell]

These questions that I've asked are used to determine the source of your problems. Usually they are quite similar with the questions being asked by a therapist.

Now my final question is this: when was the last time you consulted with a therapist? Is that after you were diagnosed with ADHD or after being diagnosed with phobia?[/QUOTE

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2ed grade but I didn't see a therapist until high school and that's when I was diagnosed with phobia. I don't see a therapist any more I had to stop but now I see a countsler but I don't think she is going to work out

 

[cockyblu]

Honestly, if you and your counselor doesn't have any good open communication then most likely your sessions are for naught. Your sessions with her should be based on complete truthfulness and nothing more. Have you voiced out your concern to her as to why you feel your sessions are not working out? She has to know this so she can revise her intervention program for you or she can refer you to another professional that can help you change your outlook in life.

You should always remember that she can only do so much if she knows all the facts about you like personal history, medical records, friends and families testimonials, etc. But if she doesn't have access to this informations first hand via personal interaction with you and your family then she's like a blind woman trying to wade a crowded a street without her white cane. This same statement also applies with different professionals like therapists and / or psychologists. All of them will need to have access with your truthful and honest personal infomations, concealing these informations will more likely cause wrong diagnosis on their part and a feeling of inadequacy on your part.

Now, for all of us here in this forum, we can only help you a little bit. Noticed how we always point you to go to a professional? Because we at this forum, aren't trained like them. We only reply to your queries based on what we feel. More so this is not the right place to go soul searching as this place is an informal avenue with no personal interactions whatsoever. In this impersonal setting you will only get a little help.

Lastly, go back to your counselor and tell her what you really feel as honest and truthful as possible.