good vs bad sex

[wardell]

I'm curious. How can some one be bad at sex
Part a goes in part b what is there to get wrong I've seen movies and tv show
Were they talk about some one is bad in bed
I'm a virgin.(yes I know I'm rare) all I ever done is hand job with a friend

 

[Wohltorf]

Bad in bed is usually selfish in bed. The pleasure of a partner is every bit as important as your own pleasure; some people don't get it. It has nothing to do with equipment BTW.

 

[gb2000ie]

Saying sex is about putting tab A into slot B is like saying painting is about putting liquid A onto surface B.

Sex is at least as much an emotional thing as it is a physical thing, and the key to getting it right is empathy. Pick up on your partner's subtle cues, and follow them! Think about your partner not yourself, and assuming you've chosen a good partner, they'll be doing the same, and everyone will finish up fulfilled.

B.

 

[gorgik9]

Totally agree with B. - sex isn't about mechanics, its about emotions, feeling great and having fun! And caring about others, and letting others care about you. Remember that sometimes that's the most difficult - letting others care a bit about you...

 

[dargelos]

All I can add to that is that it is perfectly ok when only one of you comes if thats what you want, example some of us find it easier to concentrate on giving the best blowjob without the added distraction of him trying to return the favour. It's only bad sex when you wish you hadn't done it.

 

[Jonny]

I agree with y'all that sex is emotional, mental and physical. What I don't get though is how sometimes in movies/shows, people act like they feel nothing. I mean, you have to receive some level of pleasure whether you like it or not because of the way your body reacts to intercourse/oral, right? Like you may not be into it emotionally/mentally, but your body is going to enjoy it somewhat?

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

The other thing that can make sex bad, or at least not great, is when both parties have quite different things they enjoy.

Examples:

- One likes to quickly and shower and get dressed, the other wants to take two hours over it;
- One wants anal, the other doesn't;
- One likes lots of nipple play and can't understand why the other wants his own nipples left alone.

There are lots more possible scenarios.
To some extent things can be dealt with by being unselfish and trying to give your partner pleasure, as others have said. However there is a limit to how much you should try to please your partner if you yourself are not enjoying the proceedings. Sometimes it's best to just say "thanks for your time, this is not doing it for me, sorry about that."

 

[trencherman]

One survives bad sex; good sex makes you suicidal.

 

[Shelter]

good sex makes you suicidal.

Whow really???? :rofl:

 

[jw4833]

I remember when I was bartending at this popular gay club and one summer event ...a guy that I went to high school whom by the way was very, very popular especially with the ladies had came in which startled me to no end because there were no inclination that he had a "gay bone" in his body ...he appeared to be so macho. Nonetheless, I was behind the bar tending to a customer and the house DJ had dedicated a song to me and yelled out my name. This guy immediately turned his focus to behind the bar and our eyes met. He stood staring at me as shocked and surprised as I was toward him.

We did eventually have a conversation during the night and he stayed around once the club had closed and asked me to join him at one of the 24-hour popular diners in the neighborhood that catered to the gay community. I accepted his invitation and as the hours lingered...he invited to join him for dinner the next day. Now..this is where this story gets interesting...he cooked dinner at his place and as the evening progress...he made his moves towards me in the sexual way. However, once we got naked and in bed and things started to happen...he just laid there as stiff as a board with no movement whatsoever. On top of that...he was a horrible kisser...there was no emotion....just NOTHING AT ALL!!!! although he would give out little moans from time to time. Even when I was about to screw him...he just turned over and just laid there with his ass lifted up a little in the air. I got so disappointed and turned off that I did not want to waste another moment with him. Since I am a nice guy...I did not want to hurt his feelings and made up a lame excuse to leave his place. However, I have to say that I am not a "size queen" but I do like my partner to have something that I can work with. The thing is throughout the diner date..this guy kept bragging about how in high school ...the ladies did not just like him for his looks and body..but his huge dick. Therefore, when he got naked..In all the years I've been gay..that was the smallest dick I've ever seen...in fact..when I put it in my mouth just out of curiosity...not only did I take the base but both balls as well in one gulp...he reacted by moaning out loud and squirming all over the bed...

What I found really surprising is that he offered me all of his contact information and went out of his way to let me know that he enjoyed what we did...###!!!!..haha...I did not contact him and avoided all of his calls for the next few days. He finally came to the club to see me and questioned me about me avoiding him. After the club closed..I took him out to the diner and I just told him that I was going through a bad time in a relationship during the time we got together and we decided eventually to give things another try. I just could not bring myself to tell him the truth. In fact..right after that evening..when ever I thought about it..I would run to the bathroom to throw up. That had never happened to me before in my life...so yes...there is such a thing as bad sex...

 

[Otage]

Yeah listening to each other is the key. With little compromises on both sides all sex can be quite good. It only gets annoying if the other guy wants you to follow some tight "script" from his fantasies the very first time you have sex, telling you what to do next etc. I once quit the whole act because of it, there just was no reasoning with that guy, he was 100% selfish. I told him: "You seem to be the only one who knows exactly how to do it right, so it's best you finish it alone":rofl:

 

[Shelter]

Yeah listening to each other is the key. With little compromises on both sides all sex can be quite good. It only gets annoying if the other guy wants you to follow some tight "script" from his fantasies the very first time you have sex, telling you what to do next etc. I once quit the whole act because of it, there just was no reasoning with that guy, he was 100% selfish. I told him: "You seem to be the only one who knows exactly how to do it right, so it's best you finish it alone":rofl:

Great!! A wonderful answer and I hope that guy was shocked!

 

[lovetosuckcock]

I've never had bad sex. It's all been good. Granted that sometimes it's better than at other times.

 

[Otage]

I've never had bad sex. It's all been good. Granted that sometimes it's better than at other times.

I've also had few drunken one night stands, that I could live with out. The guys have been hot, nice, but it has kinda been like wardell said, putting things from A to B, and I remember being bored I mean alcohol takes away the excitement, numbs you a bit, makes you tired..:yawn: And that A to B thing with nothing more, to me that is bad sex.

But maybe it's just me, when drinking, I would rather just drink But it's okay even if drunken, when you know the guy, like the guy, you have some emotional bond. That's to me important:big hug:

 

[cdninweho]

I have always believed that no sex is better than bad sex. My hubby and I don't always have mind blowing sex, but never have I wished we didn't have it... unlike some hook-ups in my past.

 

[Otage]

I have always believed that no sex is better than bad sex. My hubby and I don't always have mind blowing sex, but never have I wished we didn't have it... unlike some hook-ups in my past.

Pretty much sums it all up. I agree so much:thumbs up:

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Yeah listening to each other is the key. With little compromises on both sides all sex can be quite good. It only gets annoying if the other guy wants you to follow some tight "script" from his fantasies the very first time you have sex, telling you what to do next etc. I once quit the whole act because of it, there just was no reasoning with that guy, he was 100% selfish. I told him: "You seem to be the only one who knows exactly how to do it right, so it's best you finish it alone":rofl:

Ooh, don't you hate that, when the other guy acts like he's in the director's chair in a porn movie studio. "Lick my balls", "Play with my nipples", "Suck faster", "Put your hands on my arse cheeks", etc. One could say it's being communicative, but it's only one-way communication, speaking but not listening. I've terminated more than one session because I felt as though I was being treated like a sex robot; in most cases I didn't even bother trying to explain why I was up and leaving, knowing the guy would probably just not get it.

There are other and better ways and expressing what you want. "Can we do this?", "I like it when you do that", "Not so keen on that", etc.