Having lived long enough, it is fascinating to have a tangible, cognizant awareness of the passage of time, of history. One day slides so comfortably into the next it is hard to be aware of the change that is transforming everything, including 'us.' Nothing lasts for long. Everything is changing. There is nothing permanent and the world continues to be transformed.
There is an entire generation growing up for whom 9-11 is something to be read in a history book. No more real than the first space flight. Very soon an entire generation who will look at you ponderously, wondering "Michael Jackson, who???"
Our world view now is transformed by internet porn, gay marriage, the rise and fall(?) of urban gay communities. How hard it must be for today's generation to imagine a time when it was illegal for 2 men to even dance with each other in a public place. When porn was at best, a cheaply printed pamphlet with nothing more salacious than a drawing of a dick or a photo of a man in a loin cloth. A time where the Mafia ruled and controlled all outlaying things to social norms, including gay life. When risking sex meant risking everything.
It started to change with the beat era of the 50's. (Not that I witnessed that.) But I did get a feel of the old era and old guard. Actually, it may be more accurate that it started to change just before the second world war... then got beat back by the war.... then surged by the changes brought on by soldiers returning from the war. I witnessed it fall during the social upheaval of the 60's. There is SO much that we take for granted now that was inconceivable back then. Most people owned a black and white TV. There was only one phone company. The notion of a Black President in the 1960's? I remember letting out an involuntary 'gasp' as a young boy the first time I saw a black policeman. That was so unheard of. Gay Marriage??? Just the suspicion of being an 'invert' was risking loss of employment, if not the risk of "medical" intervention or jail time.
This is why I wish and hope men in the porn industry are writing down our passing history. Much will be lost to future generations. Paddy O Brian will fade from consciousness as surely as Casey Donovan. And there is no guarantee the future will be nothing but gains. We should know our history.
It is also interesting how powerful the old state of affairs still influence people despite the change. I know more than a few mature men a generation before me who even at this late age are as 'in the closet' now as then. A humorous example, a few years back a friend who happened to work as a College Administrator in our town was going with me to a gay party. We parked a block away from the party house. As soon as we were out of the car he whipped out a Halloween mask and put it on. It was one along the line of a Zorro mask.... and I KNEW he wore it just in case someone might recognize him going to a "gay" party. -It was laughable. And sad.
For one, EVERYONE in town knew he was gay. A juicy secret like that was not likely to be kept quiet in straight circles around the College. And on top of it, his very identifiable full figure would hardly be 'disguised' by a Zorro mask. It was as goofy as Clark Kent's glasses. -But that was the world then. And he never really out grew it.
I understand Turkeyman that you started this thread by mentioning being happy and content in your life. I understand your comfort, but never abandon the idea of coming out. Putting a human face to homosexuality had done us a world of good. And the good work is not yet done. If not for yourself, then to help make a small mark in the history and evolution of life.
That ALL is going to change is a given. The only unanswered question is 'to what?' We have power to influence that unknown in ways large and small.
