I've had a few instances with exes who struggle to let go and move on. Online I've had unwanted attention from guys who are probably just being opportunistic. At first I enjoyed the attention but then its endless requests for photos and declarations of love and never being able to take no for an answer. I've had to change email addresses and forums accounts because it was becoming such a nuisance. It's hard to believe how fixated and obsessed some people can be. You worry about what they might do to you or themselves. Now if I even get a hint of crazy I run a mile!
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Have you ever been stalked?
- Thread starter AleXXX UK
- Start date
Yes I have with an ex who was so possessive and a big liar that once I came to the conclusion to let it all go after giving him chances to redeem himself, things got worse. Therefore, he found it very difficult to move on and he would sit outside of my new place in the early hours of the morning just staring at the place. What was equally embarrassing is the fact that it was a female neighbor who informed me of his behavior because she was compelled to call the police. I can also recall one incident where I was out on a date and he followed us from the restaurant to the club, to him following us going home.
Fredric13
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Yes, but never in a "good" way. As a media personality, I tend to attract the loonies. You never know what they are thinking or how far they'll go. They don't want you, they want the person they think you are. I think I could handle an obsessed boy/girl-friend a lot easier than the fan boys/girls who think that you're speaking only to them.
topdog
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Yes, about ten years ago I dated a guy a couple of times, and helped him out with a few projects. That was the end of it as far as I was concerned, but he constantly called and emailed. He begged me to come over. He was chronically sick, and often depressed. I made the mistake of going over there once to calm him down. That just encouraged more calls. When I stopped picking up the phone he would come over and knock on my door and tap on the windows. I was starting to feel trapped in my own house.
I finally managed to say "no" enough times that he faded out of my life pretty much . He did send me a couple of long letters a year later.
The creepy part is that last year he had a guy over (for sex I'm sure), and the guy OD'ed on some of the MANY drugs he has at home. (Legally, because he has to do a lot of pain management because of his illness.) A week later he had a friend stay over (because he was still freaked about the other guy dying.) well, the friend also took some of Mr. Unlucky's pills and was also found dead in the morning.
Coincidence?
I finally managed to say "no" enough times that he faded out of my life pretty much . He did send me a couple of long letters a year later.
The creepy part is that last year he had a guy over (for sex I'm sure), and the guy OD'ed on some of the MANY drugs he has at home. (Legally, because he has to do a lot of pain management because of his illness.) A week later he had a friend stay over (because he was still freaked about the other guy dying.) well, the friend also took some of Mr. Unlucky's pills and was also found dead in the morning.
Coincidence?
B
bafm
Guest
Yes I've been stalked for many months, the incredible thing is that I never knew this guy but obviously he knew me very well, he was a telephone stalker.
I think he lived near me because he always knew if I was at home or not and he had a sort of obsession, when he was into a good mood he wanted to kiss or touch me and so on but sometimes he was so furious and unpleasant!
The phone rang, rang and rang! Sometimes more than 100 times in a day.
The idea of someone lurking in the dark was so unpleasant, I've been forced to change my telephone number two times and reported this unknown guy to the police but I never knew who was (luckily!)
I think he lived near me because he always knew if I was at home or not and he had a sort of obsession, when he was into a good mood he wanted to kiss or touch me and so on but sometimes he was so furious and unpleasant!
The phone rang, rang and rang! Sometimes more than 100 times in a day.
The idea of someone lurking in the dark was so unpleasant, I've been forced to change my telephone number two times and reported this unknown guy to the police but I never knew who was (luckily!)
H
HettoreConti
Guest
Mein Gott! I'm intrigued...
But to the subject at hand! O, The simple joys of being incredibly unattractive (moi). I don't think I'll ever have to deal with such people or situations. But then again, life likes to play with one's destiny. You just never know.
Admittedly, I'd me more prone to stalk someone than to be stalked. But just the mere thought of me stalking someone... it's embarrasing.
What's really scary is how the tone of a communication goes from extremely loving, caring and care feee to utter rage, frustration and destruction even in the space of a single call or email. That's when you know you have a problem on your hands.
I have never come across an instance where someone like that could be 'helped' out of their infatuation. The only solution is to cut off all communication and cut them loose. Their intense love turns to intense hate but there's nothing you can do about it.
kblocky13
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Mein Gott! I'm intrigued...
But to the subject at hand! O, The simple joys of being incredibly unattractive (moi). I don't think I'll ever have to deal with such people or situations. But then again, life likes to play with one's destiny. You just never know.
Admittedly, I'd me more prone to stalk someone than to be stalked. But just the mere thought of me stalking someone... it's embarrasing.
I don't buy that.
I had a couple of people (one girl and a guy who were actually a couple) who were callling and texting me a lot even in the middle of the night, saying dumb stuff, but I wouldn't call them stalkers, they were just annoying as hell.
jeansGuyOZ
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Please don't take the following as necessarily referring to people who have already posted in this thread...
But: I do believe that in a lot of cases the stalkee is partly to blame for allowing the situation to continue, rather than being firm in an effort to put an end to it. I've spoken (in person, not online) with several guys who have said something like "This guy wants to keep seeing me, but I really don't want to continue with the relationship." They don't know how to reject someone without being rude, they don't wish to be rude, so they just drop hints, which of course are never taken up by the other. Being rude is somtimes necessary - it should only be a last resort, but it should be available as an option if all else fails.
I've never been stalked in the threatening sense, but I have had a couple of guys who wanted more of my life than I was prepared to give. One in particular made a habit of calling on me around nid-morning on a weekday, when I couldn't claim I was tired and wanted an early night, and obviously it wasn't a day on which I was rostered to work, since I was home. The sex was good at first, but it got to be kind of the same thing each time and I didn't really feel attracted to him in any other way, so I began to find myself hoping he would not call. One day he telephoned to find out if i was in, and I took a deep breath and said "Yes, but I think we've done it to death, don't you?" He did ring once more, but I said I really didn't want to continue, and that was that.
Then there was the guy who knocked on my door in the middle of the night and presented me with a bunch of flowers - but that's a tale for another time.
But: I do believe that in a lot of cases the stalkee is partly to blame for allowing the situation to continue, rather than being firm in an effort to put an end to it. I've spoken (in person, not online) with several guys who have said something like "This guy wants to keep seeing me, but I really don't want to continue with the relationship." They don't know how to reject someone without being rude, they don't wish to be rude, so they just drop hints, which of course are never taken up by the other. Being rude is somtimes necessary - it should only be a last resort, but it should be available as an option if all else fails.
I've never been stalked in the threatening sense, but I have had a couple of guys who wanted more of my life than I was prepared to give. One in particular made a habit of calling on me around nid-morning on a weekday, when I couldn't claim I was tired and wanted an early night, and obviously it wasn't a day on which I was rostered to work, since I was home. The sex was good at first, but it got to be kind of the same thing each time and I didn't really feel attracted to him in any other way, so I began to find myself hoping he would not call. One day he telephoned to find out if i was in, and I took a deep breath and said "Yes, but I think we've done it to death, don't you?" He did ring once more, but I said I really didn't want to continue, and that was that.
Then there was the guy who knocked on my door in the middle of the night and presented me with a bunch of flowers - but that's a tale for another time.
