How to find white guy who is interested in oriental guy

[pwycymru]

I would like to ask something from people who have experience/knowledge about dating a guy who has different ethnic background, please.

I have oriental ethnic background and live in UK. I have found that I'm totally attracted to Caucasian/European guys since I was a teenage (Now I'm 28).

My intention is to find a good guy and develop long-term relationship, not for sexual encounter.

My job after I got my degree (PhD) may be in UK or EU --- because my discipline is needed in EU region --- that's why I need LTR and want to settle down with the right guy.

I use some dating sites (e.g. gaydar, fitlads) but I have found that most people there just need sexual encounter. Some of them are looking for LTR but I have not found anyone who prefer oriental guys. Moreover, some of them reply my message impolitely just because I have oriental background (Yes! it is racism).

I almost give up to find a good guy to be my partner now. I think I should not lose my hope but it is very difficult to find him, honestly. I just think am I bad/wrong that I was born in an oriental family and have oriental ethnic background?

So, I would like to know where and how can I find a local guy who is interested in oriental guy, please.

I know it seems a silly question but I really have no idea now.

Thank you for your idea/suggestion.

Regards,

 

[Okada Hiroki]

From what i read, it seems finding a BF with different ethnic for a LTR is not the real problem.. It is where you are resides now, that's the problem. Not every person you meet will have the intention to stay there unless they resides in the same area.

Nevertheless, it's better to have a BF who really knows who you are for sure, and not being so picky of what you only want and need.

I hope and pray that one day the right guy will eventually be with you

 

[coolmansup]

Maybe just go out and have fun. Maybe that one guy will be there for you.

 

[Behrluvr]

Perhaps take a vacation/trip to Bangkok. The city's sex tourism industry is based on catering to Westerners who are hot for Asians, looking for girls or boys (or both :cheers. Plenty of Brits, Yanks and Aussies are in Bangkok hunting Orientals.

If you are in some nightclub and spot an appealing white guy, he's there 'cause he likes asians, heyheyhey. Lots of Brits go there. You could meet someone from your city.

What have you got to lose? At least you'll get to see an exotic city even if you don't find a bf....

 

[pwycymru]

@Okada Hiroki
Thanks for the issue. I think I have to consider where should I settle down in the future. But I think the main thing is not about the plave where I will live in the future. The big problem is that it is difficult to find a local guy to be even a good friend.

I realise that most asian people try to stay in their own asian community when they live aboard. But for me I think different. I eager to learn different culture and meet local people. That's why it is difficult for me, tbh.

@coolmansup
I have only one local friend but he is straight. So, where he wanna go is a place that he can flirt women. Arg... it is fun but I think I cannot find bf there. And I do not dare to invite him to go to gay scene with me --- I'm afraid of losing freidnship.

@Behrluvr
ha ha... what I want is LTR not casual sex Moreover, I really know what my home town is. I can go there whenever I want (when I visit my home) but I really realise that I cannot find LTR there. Sometime I feel ashamed and ask myself that why my country is famous in sex tourism industry.

 

[Casanova]

Never feel ashamed of who you are, where you're from and your ethnic background. In the end there will always be people who would be rude or dislike how you look, no matter of your asian, black, white, twink or bear!

Heck! It annoys me when people place in their profiles they don't like gingers/black/asian guys, and sadly, there is nothing you can do about it. But you know what? They are only a fraction of the guys out there!

Remember, finding love is a difficult job, especially when you're limiting your target to a certain race, look or body type! If it were easy, almost everyone on this planet would have someone. Just be patient and keep on looking, cuz I am sure the guy you're looking for is out there looking for someone with the same passion as you.

Visit the clubs, try building genuine friendships with guys online. Sometimes these friendships spark the strongest of passions!

Be assertive! A lot of guys are shy! Not only does it limit your chance of finding someone, but being shy isn't an attractive feature.

And finally, love yourself and who you are, because if you don't love yourself, what's the point in finding someone to do it for you?

 

[gb2000ie]

Maybe it's just me - but I am seeing some serious irony here. By setting out to find a white boyfriend you are judging people by the colour of their skin, and yet, at the same time, you complain about people judging you based on the colour of your skin! Surely racism is always wrong, not just when it's white people judging others by their skin colour?

As for finding Mr. Right, I'd suggest concentrating less on physical attributes, and not relying on online dating sites. Try to meet people in real life, and see what happens. You'll be surprised who you'll fall in love with when you're looking more than skin-deep. If you go out with a check-list I don't think you'll get far.

I wish I could remember who said it, but it was a female photographer in the 1800s, "I married my husband for his legs, and all I got was legs" - now replace legs with skin colour.

B.

 

[gb2000ie]

Be assertive! A lot of guys are shy! Not only does it limit your chance of finding someone, but being shy isn't an attractive feature.

I beg to differ - I find the shy mysterious type soooo attractive - mind you, I've often been disappointed with what I find under the quiet shy exterior - so maybe it is good advice afterall

And finally, love yourself and who you are, because if you don't love yourself, what's the point in finding someone to do it for you?

I think this is the best advice I've seen in any thread on these boards since I joined up. You totally nailed it!

B.

 

[Squallmuzza]

puisnoop - Best dating site I've found is OKCupid. Give that a whirl. You tend to only get matched with people who would be interested and are not dicks.

Also, if you're anywhere near London, I'm sure I can give you some pointers of where to go. Feel free to PM me for suggestions ^^

 

[pwycymru]

@Gypsy
You give me the best suggestion I have ever received Thank you so much. (Yeah! I agree with gb2000ie)
I have ever discussed about the racial issue with my closed friends. I have one question in my mind and no one can answer this.
My question is "How different between racism and personal preference?" My own answer is the former is the action and the latter is the though.
Personally, I can be friend with any people regardless of their background and appearance. And because I do not like racism, I never judge people from just their race/appearance, tbh. However, in term of "intimacy and relationship" I have found that I feel nothing with people in my own race. (I mean am not turned on by other race except white guys --- I try to proof this many times, and finally, I've found that I'm only attracted to white guys)
Ok, to make it clear, in term of friendship, there is no boundary/limitation for me. But in term of something more sexual or relates to relationship, I really know my preference.
I agree with one theory about LTR. It says that LTR consists of 3 parts (friendship, intimacy, and sex). If I decide to develop relationship with a guy who I cannot give him the second and the third components, I do not think that the relationship can go well. I think this theory might answer that why some guy try to say something discremination/racist in their profile in dating site.

And yes! I will change some of my habit and try something which you suggest me. And the last thing is I must love myself too.

Thank you for your suggestion.

PS. I see you from Ireland so do you understand Celtic language?
Puisnoop dw i. Dw i'n siarad Saesneg a Cymraeg. Braf cwrdd a chi

 

[pwycymru]

@gb2000ie
I agree with you that my preference seems to be racism. But as I raise my question in the upper reply (to ID:Gypsy) that "How different between racism and personal preference?".
Yes, personally, I prefer white bf but when other guys (other races) contact me (in dating site). I reply all messages and I always tell them that I can be friend with them. And I inform them about my preference too. I let them decide if they wanna keep contact with me or not (because I know that most guys just want sexual encounter).
I do not know that what I usually do is good or not. But from what I do, I can find few good online friend there. They understand what I mean and wanna make friend and talk in general things (not about sexual issue).
But I still think that what I do is somewhat racist

And I will do what you suggest me --- going out to meet real people --- I might meet someone nice and good inside

Thanks for your suggestion.

PS. Are you Irish as same as ID:Gypsy?
Nothing serious, tbh. I just find that Celtic language (Welsh/Scottish/Irish) is so beautiful. Sometime I use it more than English

 

[pwycymru]

@Squallmuzza

Thanks for your suggestion on that website. I will take a look on it. But I think I agree with ID:Gypsy and ID:gb2000ie that I have to go to meet real people. But online dating is also one of my choice to know people

I've heard that in London, there are some club that local guys come to meet oriental guys. I think I have to research about it more OK, I'll PM you for more information.
Thanks

 

[gb2000ie]

PS. I see you from Ireland so do you understand Celtic language?
Puisnoop dw i. Dw i'n siarad Saesneg a Cymraeg. Braf cwrdd a chi

I'm OK at the Irish language, which is A Celtic language, but I think what you've written there is Welsh, which is a completely different Celtic language!

One reason I'm sure it's not Irish is that the Irish aplhabet only has 18 letters, it doesn't have j, k, q, v, w, x, y, or z!

I see your point about not being attracted to any Asian men you have met so far sexually, but I guess my point is that that doesn't mean there isn't a perfect Asian man out there for your somewhere that can give you all three components of the LTR you want.

The very best of luck on your quest for love, and I hope you find Mr. Right.

B.

 

[hanstop]

And finally, love yourself and who you are, because if you don't love yourself, what's the point in finding someone to do it for you?

Totally agree. If one does not love himself, how can one expect that others will love you.