i could really use some relationship advise people !

[titanium833]

hi and tnx for coming
at first i should say my situation is quite different with most of u (or all of u!) , so my relationship
im living in a religious city in an islamic dictatorship , where being gay is a crime !
the government and the religion has made people to hate homo`s
here even some gay`s are homophobe!
so here is no g club , no g pride , no g community and no..... u can imagin how hard is to find ur soulmate here !
but i was lucky i guess ! last year i found a boy online . we dated and it was epic ! every thing was great ! we had our differences, but i worked hard , and he lied hard ! and it worked , after one and half year we didn`t had even one big fight , we never broke up, never took apart, but it has price`s
he is a good boy , lots of good things. But…. he has different type of morality , first of all he does`t believe in comitment , second . he lies and he thinks some lies are good , or less bad ! even once i caught him telling i love u to somebody else on chat ! that`s not all , we have or political and philosophical differences ! he likes the dictator`s who destroyed our beautiful country . and he likes religion and god who hate`s us ! he likes the exact thing`s that im fighting with .
I know , u are asking why in the world u are still dating this guy !
Well , somehow I managed to handle all this thing`s , I don`t know how and why , but I think I can`t live withouth him ! I guess I`m deeply in love with him , or maybe i`m afraid of being alone again . maybe it`s cuz im afraid I can`t replace him , like I said we don`t have lot`s of choices . I did every thing for him , never lied , changed myself in ways he like me , changed my look , changed the way I talk and ….but , the most important thing I changed , and maybe the reason im posting this topic. I changed my sexual position ! we both was vers in first year, but then he said he was a top and he is doing bottom onlu because he loves me and he does`t like being a bottom . so I told him it`s ok , from now on im going to be ur full bottom !
Now after 6 month of being bottom for 1-2 times a week , I think it has changed me ! im more sensitive now , and im enjoying it while sex, even lately I keep sayin faster , deeper , harder during sex ! it freaks me man ! im 25 now , and im pretty ! ten years from know , in such city I described , what im I going to do as a 35 years old full bottom man ?!
I don’t know why i`m asking for ur advises and what really is my question , I wanna know if should I really keep dating this guy ?! and I wanna know if changing my position is a good idea or not !i men does it can change me , or does it make me lose my self confidence or …. I must remind u again in what kind of society im living .
And I have to say , its my first relationship ! so his!
Sorry if it went to long , and tnx for reading this .

 

[Otage]

Hard to say anything to your problems in your country. I could say I can imagine, but I would brolly be wrong. About the changing positions in sex: You agreed to bottom cause you love him. Shouldn't he do the same for you from time to time too? If you both were versatile at start cause you loved eachother, then what has changed now? And I know this maybe a wrong thing to say cause there are so many aspects to it, but have you ever considered moving out to somewhere, where you can be more freely yourself(changes, relatives etc. It's always hard ofc)?

And why are you together? Is sex the only thing? I personally couldn't be with someone who disagrees in everything with me, like religion, politics, likes, habit, acceptable behauvior etc. Of course I can stand for a lot cause sometimes opposites fit together quite well, but with so many differences... Might the reason why I am not with anyone atm, but I find it better than being with someone who I only like for looks and sex. And lieing... Would be really hard to stand for it, or make the relationship work.

I hope you get other replies too. It always brightens your own views to mirror them trough others, even though you would disagree. Cause when u disagree with someone, it can just brighten your views about what u don't disagree. So thx for asking advice, hope I could help clarify your thoughts even a bit

 

[Sinnerr]

Hi,
Life philosophy differences are allways complication to serious relationship, same as different attitude to loyality or lying.
Question for you is if "just sexual realtionship is better than nothing?"
Or if you think He could change his behavior, try to tell him openly what kind of relationship you want and so on, but if he wnats just sex and you're one from his bottoms it doesn't seem very optimistic.
You know, relationships are about open communication in both ways. If you haven't tried it yet or think you could try once again better or more, so try it. If you already tried it as best as you could and it haven't had effect, so leave him be, or just take it as just sexual relatonship.
Good luck!

 

[gb2000ie]

Myself and my partner of nearly 10 years have very different out-looks on things. He's a pagan, I'm an agnostic atheist. I'm to the left on all aspects of politics, he's to the right fiscally, but libertarian on social issues. That has not stopped us developing a strong relationship. We've stuck together through tough times and better times. So, I don't think differences in politics need be a problem.

However, a disagreement about commitment is much more serious, as is a disagreement about honesty, and those two things combined make for a very very bad mix.

I wouldn't dream of telling you what to do, or what not to do. But, when I read your post I get the distinct impression you're not happy in the relationship. I guess the question is, will you be more unhappy single and facing all those obstacles against finding someone else, or in a relationship that has big problems?

B.

 

[hugmebear]

It seems you may be nothing more than a fuck buddy to him. Have you told him what you are looking for in a relationship and expect? Would it endanger you to address this with him? ie. would he out you to authorities? Could you relocate to a place where being gay isn't a crime?

 

[tonka]

I must say your zest for life in a difficult cirstance is pretty impressive!

As to the top/ bottom question? I think it's ok. You've learned to enjoy bottoming more in the last year. That's a good thing. And it won't keep you from topping in another cirstance. Your worry about being a 35 year old bottom? That might be the shame and judgment that society puts on it.

What will change you is putting your whole heart into a relationship with someone who does not do the same. That can erode a person's self respect; it can result in bitterness.
Can you maybe still enjoy a sexual relationship with this guy, without him being your soul mate?

 

[hi_all]

Well my friend, in love you can never have equal... one of the two always have more involvement and thus to-say more to lose (at least some feel that way once things start to go South).

The fact that you are having doubt says things are not going as you wanna them to be. However, truth be told, these very moments shape (or destroy) a relationship. I hope it will work out for you guys.

And, regarding you changing for someone else, thats only a temporary solution, after-all love and relationship require finding a common ground where everyone can feel safe and loved (not insure or used).

 

[jw4833]

I can relate to certain parts of your story actually because I had gotten involved with a guy who was of Muslim faith, but his ethnic background was Palestine. In front of his friends and family members, he put up a huge front of pretending he was straight. However, behind closed doors, he loved being in the arms of a man. He had shared with me that he was struggling with the fact of coming to the acceptance of being a gay man because if his family found out, they would disown him because of their Arabic descent and he could not deal with that. Unfortunately, in order to deal with his urges to be with a man, he would drink a lot. He even revealed to me that he did get involved with one of his professors at school and once the relationship started to progress with him having feelings for this professor, he went and reported to the faculty and his father that this professor got him drunk and came on to him sexually.

As you may know, this caused a lot of problems for the professor in regard to his career which he faced a lot of ramifications. However, before the father went forth to pursue charges with the university, this guy went to the Dean and confessed that he was lying and what he said had occurred did not.

Once this guy began to have feelings for me, he liked my approach and the way I really listen to what he had to say and the advice that I gave him without actually telling him what to do. I did not pursue this guy sexually because I was aware of his issues and yet, he came at me full force. Once he revealed that he was falling in love with me and I began to have some feelings for him, I was honest enough to tell him that although I was developing feelings for him, I did not want to pursue a relationship with him because of his confusion of hiding his sexuality and going out of his way to please his family and friends.

Once he moved with his mom out of state, I believe this is where his real problems began because his mom was very adamant about her faith and being against homosexuality. Recently, I ran into one of his cousins whom I've met a few times and he went on to tell me that this guy may be on the verge of committing suicide because he is struggling with his sexuality. He has been brought up on charges twice so far and has indulged into drugs. Therefore with your situation, I can just imagine what you are going through. However, I do agree with the other guys' comments. Good luck to you...

BTW....there is something else I would like to share with you...I had also developed a friendship with not only his friends, but his aunt as well. One evening, after he left town, I received a phone call from her where she revealed to me that he told her how he felt about me. He was high and just told her everything. However, whatever he shared with her must have really been strong because she threatened me several times. Now, what I did not understand is why she was threatening me about pursuing a relationship with him when he did not live in the city anymore and I did not have any contact because she had forced him to leave without contacting me. Her threats was enough for me to not only feel I did the right thing about not pursuing a relationship with him but they also made me stop all contact with her as well. The icing on the cake was when she told me that if by some chance he and I ever did find each other and she found out that she would do everything possible to break us up to the degree of making lies up where he would never want to speak to me again and that she would go to her grave doing this if that what it took.

 

[bigsal]

It is difficult to imagine your state of mind and social.

It is one thing to hear tell, quite another to experience it in person in a country totally hostile and repressive.

The fact that you were able to forge a relationship is extraordinary.
But reading your post, between the lines reflected some uncertainty.

Perhaps this question may not like it, but I let it get.
Considering the context in which you live, and considering his sympathy towards those who oppresses you, do you trust him?

This is not to affect your judgment, but in your case, prudence is necessary.

Good luck and thank you for sharing with us your story.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I guess the question is, will you be more unhappy single and facing all those obstacles against finding someone else, or in a relationship that has big problems?

B.

I totally agree with GB on that, what is better? Being with someone who lies to you constantly, deceives you in many many ways or does not like you for the real reason or being alone, less miserable and classify this relationship as past experience.

I remember you coming for advice before and back then you actually had issue with becoming a bottom for which I believe you overcome this with your boyfriend. Well dude the issue isn't about the contrary you have with your boyfriend... I'm pretty sure if you had more choice of dudes you wouldn't accept such lack of respect toward yourself... it doesn't matter what he think politically or who is his hero... there's many things that Alex doesn't like of me... there's few things I don't like of him... mostly his constant need of smoking weed (I hate drugs in all its form) but there's one thing we don't have between us and it's lies.

As per age... Titanium you're life has just begun... at 25 years old you're in the spring of your life... there's many things to come and go before you reach 35 and when you'll reach 35 you'll understand that your still in the spring of your life... but you've just learned to wear your boots when it rains... don't think that 10 years later things will be better if you can get respect NOW. What you do now will be reflected in the followings years if you do not address the issue.

I know you are living in a Muslim country, I had Muslim boyfriends before and Alex and I do have Muslim fuck friends... and we do respect their request of silence about their gay sides... Being gay doesn't automatically means being atheist or agnostic... I believe that it takes more logical thinking than a lifestyle to explain the lack of beliefs... so if your relation with this dude is more sexually oriented, so be it... call it a friend with benefits relationship and drop the boyfriend appellation... because what you just describe in this thread isn't anything close to a relationship based on love. Sorry if that burst your bubble :worried:

 

[hugmebear]

I can relate to certain parts of your story actually because I had gotten involved with a guy who was of Muslim faith, but his ethnic background was Palestine. In front of his friends and family members, he put up a huge front of pretending he was straight. However, behind closed doors, he loved being in the arms of a man. He had shared with me that he was struggling with the fact of coming to the acceptance of being a gay man because if his family found out, they would disown him because of their Arabic descent and he could not deal with that. Unfortunately, in order to deal with his urges to be with a man, he would drink a lot. He even revealed to me that he did get involved with one of his professors at school and once the relationship started to progress with him having feelings for this professor, he went and reported to the faculty and his father that this professor got him drunk and came on to him sexually.

As you may know, this caused a lot of problems for the professor in regard to his career which he faced a lot of ramifications. However, before the father went forth to pursue charges with the university, this guy went to the Dean and confessed that he was lying and what he said had occurred did not.

Once this guy began to have feelings for me, he liked my approach and the way I really listen to what he had to say and the advice that I gave him without actually telling him what to do. I did not pursue this guy sexually because I was aware of his issues and yet, he came at me full force. Once he revealed that he was falling in love with me and I began to have some feelings for him, I was honest enough to tell him that although I was developing feelings for him, I did not want to pursue a relationship with him because of his confusion of hiding his sexuality and going out of his way to please his family and friends.

Once he moved with his mom out of state, I believe this is where his real problems began because his mom was very adamant about her faith and being against homosexuality. Recently, I ran into one of his cousins whom I've met a few times and he went on to tell me that this guy may be on the verge of committing suicide because he is struggling with his sexuality. He has been brought up on charges twice so far and has indulged into drugs. Therefore with your situation, I can just imagine what you are going through. However, I do agree with the other guys' comments. Good luck to you...

BTW....there is something else I would like to share with you...I had also developed a friendship with not only his friends, but his aunt as well. One evening, after he left town, I received a phone call from her where she revealed to me that he told her how he felt about me. He was high and just told her everything. However, whatever he shared with her must have really been strong because she threatened me several times. Now, what I did not understand is why she was threatening me about pursuing a relationship with him when he did not live in the city anymore and I did not have any contact because she had forced him to leave without contacting me. Her threats was enough for me to not only feel I did the right thing about not pursuing a relationship with him but they also made me stop all contact with her as well. The icing on the cake was when she told me that if by some chance he and I ever did find each other and she found out that she would do everything possible to break us up to the degree of making lies up where he would never want to speak to me again and that she would go to her grave doing this if that what it took.

I would have nothing to do with him because he made false claims, lest he falsely charges me on a whim. His aunt, your 'friend' seems psycho too. Keep away from that family!

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I can relate to certain parts of your story actually because I had gotten involved with a guy who was of Muslim faith, but his ethnic background was Palestine. In front of his friends and family members, he put up a huge front of pretending he was straight. However, behind closed doors, he loved being in the arms of a man. He had shared with me that he was struggling with the fact of coming to the acceptance of being a gay man because if his family found out, they would disown him because of their Arabic descent and he could not deal with that. Unfortunately, in order to deal with his urges to be with a man, he would drink a lot. He even revealed to me that he did get involved with one of his professors at school and once the relationship started to progress with him having feelings for this professor, he went and reported to the faculty and his father that this professor got him drunk and came on to him sexually.

As you may know, this caused a lot of problems for the professor in regard to his career which he faced a lot of ramifications. However, before the father went forth to pursue charges with the university, this guy went to the Dean and confessed that he was lying and what he said had occurred did not.

Once this guy began to have feelings for me, he liked my approach and the way I really listen to what he had to say and the advice that I gave him without actually telling him what to do. I did not pursue this guy sexually because I was aware of his issues and yet, he came at me full force. Once he revealed that he was falling in love with me and I began to have some feelings for him, I was honest enough to tell him that although I was developing feelings for him, I did not want to pursue a relationship with him because of his confusion of hiding his sexuality and going out of his way to please his family and friends.

Once he moved with his mom out of state, I believe this is where his real problems began because his mom was very adamant about her faith and being against homosexuality. Recently, I ran into one of his cousins whom I've met a few times and he went on to tell me that this guy may be on the verge of committing suicide because he is struggling with his sexuality. He has been brought up on charges twice so far and has indulged into drugs. Therefore with your situation, I can just imagine what you are going through. However, I do agree with the other guys' comments. Good luck to you...

BTW....there is something else I would like to share with you...I had also developed a friendship with not only his friends, but his aunt as well. One evening, after he left town, I received a phone call from her where she revealed to me that he told her how he felt about me. He was high and just told her everything. However, whatever he shared with her must have really been strong because she threatened me several times. Now, what I did not understand is why she was threatening me about pursuing a relationship with him when he did not live in the city anymore and I did not have any contact because she had forced him to leave without contacting me. Her threats was enough for me to not only feel I did the right thing about not pursuing a relationship with him but they also made me stop all contact with her as well. The icing on the cake was when she told me that if by some chance he and I ever did find each other and she found out that she would do everything possible to break us up to the degree of making lies up where he would never want to speak to me again and that she would go to her grave doing this if that what it took.

JW dude just like me you have magnet for crazies... hot dudes sure but all fucking crazy hahaha )... yes Alex was a crazy too... super hot but fuck was he deranged mentally... but he had something left alive in his eyes and I've worked on spreading that spark and get rid of 75% of his craziness... now he's just perfect lol.

 

[titanium833]

thank u friends . tnx!
there where some questions , i should add some info
my boyfriend is into teenage boyz ! the slim smooth white boyz , specialy with colored eyes . well , im smooth and slim and i have green eye , but a little old for him (his 27). i should say he really loves me and he has never saied no to me (of course i usualy dont ask much!) , but he can`t control himself when he see a teenage howti ! yes i was saying he really likes my personality and he keep saying i`m lerarning from u , and he never criticise me , i had never seen him geting angry , but one of his biggest problem is he does`t know how to care ! does`t now ho to love , does`t now what is relationship ! of course its problem of most of people in my country cuz daiting girls is forbiden to , i know about relatioship cuz im more familiar with international calture and i keep watching american tv series
anyway , i believe he is a good guy , the bad things in him is the effect of inviroment (religion , medias and...).
and theres one thing about him , he does`t care about his lost , if he lose his money , his care , his family or his boyfriend , it not hard for him ! cuz he believes in god ! the fuck dude ! he does not afraid of losing me ! i guess thats why we never had a fight and never ignored him , cuz i thing if i do him and for example i stop answering his text , he never sends me another text and he says he doesnt like me anymore , thats fine ! i love him and i respect his desisions , and since im the jerk , he would be happier without me ! and i will be happy with my god and spiritual stuff !
anyway , im handeling it , and i surivaved for one and half year , actually i was happy ! but i afraid , one day , when i changed and sacrificed every thing for him , the break up happens ! and then i feel like an idiot ! i afraid that i got broken hearted , i never had a break up before ! and since im to sencetive it scares me ! i nont know man , maybe im being woried to much , i afraid when i get older i cant get who i want , and in this sociaty younger are always hotter , but who knows , maybe i mamnaged to live in a democracy in the future !
tnx again for ur comments

 

[Urban]

if your relation with this dude is more sexually oriented, so be it... call it a friend with benefits relationship and drop the boyfriend appellation... because what you just describe in this thread isn't anything close to a relationship based on love.

IMO there's not much doubt that you are holding on to this relationship because of fear; I think you realize yourself that love is not involved, and just the fact that you are questioning it provides the answer.

Since you've repeatedly said how fearful you are of being alone (and I can fully understand that, under the cirstances), I would not suggest that you drop this guy, but you should definitely think about how much you want to invest emotionally in him.

Meanwhile, keep up your search for other guys you might be able to form a real, serious relationship with. I think you know this guy is not the one.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I'm going to be a little bold here

Titanium I fully understand what your boyfriend is into... heck look at my husband and you can see that he's very young looking... You're 25 dude, it's only 2 years difference, not much going to change from you when you'll hit 30 and not much will change of him either. In fact you are in the very same range of age.

I am 11 years older than my husband, I met him he was 19 and I was 29... but I don't know if you ever look at our pictures on this board, but you'll find out that nobody can really put an age to my face... when people see me with Alex they believe we're the very same age so don't worry too much about age... thing is you can't flee from it and if white hair are showing up be proud of them... unless your hair turns suddenly white, then you have the option to dye them back to their original color.

So your boyfriend is into teenagers looking dude... well so am I and so are many other people on this forum, but I've come to realize that teenagers are often much more trouble than actual love... teenagers are candies, and candies you get fed up quite quick with them, candy boys are just like everything else, replaceable... yes a teen looks good and young but are they boyfriend material? Many aren't since they are in the discovery mode... they do not understand the meaning of commitment and even if they do, their hormones will win them over and they'll go fuck around in no time.

It seems to me that you are a candy boy for your boyfriend... not much of the love you expect... you love him because he's your first boyfriend and you're attracted to him and you fear of being alone, but if he can't help wanting younger and younger while he is with you, I'm sorry to tell you that but you are a typical candy boy... you're insurance. If it doesn't work with one of his teenage boys he still have you to have his weekly fuck.

Titanium I am 36 years old, will turn 37 in few months, I have an amazing looking boyfriend and many other fuck friends all around 18 to 25 years old, but nothing and I mean NOTHING will ever come before ALEX no matter if tomorrow he gets crush by a truck and get his beautiful face smashed, true love Titanium goes over the physical form. Yes Alex is one heck of a beautiful guy... is in my signature and to be honest I know I fucking look amazing too )... but what attach us together for the last 6 years is beyond our physical envelop, beyond our religious beliefs, beyond what society think of us, beyond what our family think of us. We are a COUPLE a real one.

That your boyfriend never says NO to you isn't a proof of affection Titanium, in fact I'd be more worry if my husband would bend to my every little whims and I do not bend to his every little whims either. Yes Titanium you're younger, but you are you're own entity and you need to have that entity respected. And for god' sake you're only 2 years younger... not 10.

As Urban said... since you're very scared of being alone, sure do not leave the guy... but do not sink yourself too deep in the ocean of emotion with him because between you, I, and the other members of this forum we know very well that you know that things aren't perfect between you and him and if you came here to ask for advises it's because you know there's a problem, you know that you do not get full respect from him and you know that his level of care is dropping little by little every day. Protect your emotion and start looking as well... Don't be the one left at the altar... prepare for the worst because you know very well it is coming.

 

[titanium833]

well , thank u everyone . specially alex . i needed to hear ur comments cuz i was a relationship virgin and i han never experienced such a thing , i was scared to take a desicion that makes me regretful later .
of course there`s one thing , he is geting better ! its getting better , and yes , he makes me upset sometimes but when we are togheter its like the best time of my life , and i know its the same for him ! maybe i`m expecting to much of him , maybe im investing to much on him, u are all right . i guess i have to talk to him , again and again till he undrestands what i meaning !
tnx again

 

[jw4833]

JW dude just like me you have magnet for crazies... hot dudes sure but all fucking crazy hahaha )... yes Alex was a crazy too... super hot but fuck was he deranged mentally... but he had something left alive in his eyes and I've worked on spreading that spark and get rid of 75% of his craziness... now he's just perfect lol.

LOL...LOL..!!! You are sooo right Jake: You know, there are times when after I have shared a personal story with the forum that afterwards, I want to go back and delete it because I think about the "crazies" that I've met over the years and yet, even after my bf, Mike has passed on...The only thing that I can say is that makes me have a change of heart about sharing personal situations with the forum is that I do include how I deal with these people in a way that I do come off looking sensible with the hopes of possibly someone on the forum whom may be going through something similar and may not want to see the truth of their situation can get inspiration or encouragement from what I share. And yes, it is always the good looking men that have the most issues...Great point, Jake..much appreciate it...:cheers:

 

[jw4833]

Titanium I fully understand what your boyfriend is into... heck look at my husband and you can see that he's very young looking... You're 25 dude, it's only 2 years difference, not much going to change from you when you'll hit 30 and not much will change of him either. In fact you are in the very same range of age.

I am 11 years older than my husband, I met him he was 19 and I was 29... but I don't know if you ever look at our pictures on this board, but you'll find out that nobody can really put an age to my face... when people see me with Alex they believe we're the very same age so don't worry too much about age... thing is you can't flee from it and if white hair are showing up be proud of them... unless your hair turns suddenly white, then you have the option to dye them back to their original color.

So your boyfriend is into teenagers looking dude... well so am I and so are many other people on this forum, but I've come to realize that teenagers are often much more trouble than actual love... teenagers are candies, and candies you get fed up quite quick with them, candy boys are just like everything else, replaceable... yes a teen looks good and young but are they boyfriend material? Many aren't since they are in the discovery mode... they do not understand the meaning of commitment and even if they do, their hormones will win them over and they'll go fuck around in no time.

It seems to me that you are a candy boy for your boyfriend... not much of the love you expect... you love him because he's your first boyfriend and you're attracted to him and you fear of being alone, but if he can't help wanting younger and younger while he is with you, I'm sorry to tell you that but you are a typical candy boy... you're insurance. If it doesn't work with one of his teenage boys he still have you to have his weekly fuck.

Titanium I am 36 years old, will turn 37 in few months, I have an amazing looking boyfriend and many other fuck friends all around 18 to 25 years old, but nothing and I mean NOTHING will ever come before ALEX no matter if tomorrow he gets crush by a truck and get his beautiful face smashed, true love Titanium goes over the physical form. Yes Alex is one heck of a beautiful guy... is in my signature and to be honest I know I fucking look amazing too )... but what attach us together for the last 6 years is beyond our physical envelop, beyond our religious beliefs, beyond what society think of us, beyond what our family think of us. We are a COUPLE a real one.

That your boyfriend never says NO to you isn't a proof of affection Titanium, in fact I'd be more worry if my husband would bend to my every little whims and I do not bend to his every little whims either. Yes Titanium you're younger, but you are you're own entity and you need to have that entity respected. And for god' sake you're only 2 years younger... not 10.

As Urban said... since you're very scared of being alone, sure do not leave the guy... but do not sink yourself too deep in the ocean of emotion with him because between you, I, and the other members of this forum we know very well that you know that things aren't perfect between you and him and if you came here to ask for advises it's because you know there's a problem, you know that you do not get full respect from him and you know that his level of care is dropping little by little every day. Protect your emotion and start looking as well... Don't be the one left at the altar... prepare for the worst because you know very well it is coming.

Great story Jake:

My first bf was 16 years older than myself and the thing is, he looked much younger than the age he was. However, he was always being told how hot looking he was that he developed such an huge ego and he felt that I should be grateful and feel blessed that he wanted me into his life because he had so many other guys after him. But like you, I never focus on my looks and yet, I knew I was not an "ugly duckling or a pity fuck" because before and during our relationship, I've had guys who would come on to me all the time. This guy was so conceited that he liked to stare in the mirror at himself naked or while we were having sex. He had mirrors all on the walls and the ceiling so that he could watch his facial expressions.

However, what really got him pissed off was one night we went out to the club and one of my friends who didn't like him had asked me to dance. All of a sudden, while we were dancing, about ten guys formed a big circle around us and they each preceded to take turns dancing with me throughout several songs. Afterwards, each guy lined up in order to receive a kiss and a hug. My conceited ass bf got so pissed and jealous that he pouted and griped all the way home.

Once we got home, he wanted to have sex. What was funny this time was that when we started getting busy instead of him looking at himself in the mirrors, I pushed him aside and started looking at myself and stroking my cock and telling " You should feel thankful that I am with you because did you see all those guys who wanted to get with this???" He got so mad..lol..lol..so, as you've mentioned in an earlier post, yes, I have been with some crazy guys....lol..:rofl:

 

[bigsal]

To listen the advice and experiences of others is always helpful.

But do not forget something important.

Your reality is very different from that of other Western friends, who have spoken in this debate, among other very beautiful and interesting.
We can make known publicly our relations, more or less smoothly, while you and your boyfriend need to keep it hidden.

So in my opinion there is a difference of environment, should not be overlooked.

Do not forget that, like you said, your boyfriend have a doctrine from politics and religion, so I'm afraid it will be difficult to approach a relationship in western style.

 

[Sinnerr]

Maybe I will look like a dumb ass due to what I'm gonna to write, but ...
I'd say you should try to find some hobby what you could share together, for example watching these tv series or films or such, also ask him for something what he likes and you could do it with him. I know there won't be a lot of possibilities due to safety, but something more than just sex would enrich your relationship a lot.