i could really use some relationship advise people !

[hi_all]

It is not "dumb" ... but, a brilliant idea Sinnerr.

It might work or not; however, it can surely put things in right prospective...

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

From a westerner who has lived in Orient

To listen the advice and experiences of others is always helpful.

But do not forget something important.

Your reality is very different from that of other Western friends, who have spoken in this debate, among other very beautiful and interesting.
We can make known publicly our relations, more or less smoothly, while you and your boyfriend need to keep it hidden.

So in my opinion there is a difference of environment, should not be overlooked.

Do not forget that, like you said, your boyfriend have a doctrine from politics and religion, so I'm afraid it will be difficult to approach a relationship in western style.

BS my dude you're very correct... Us westerners seem to have it much much easier because homosexuality and alternative lifestyle is much more accepted here... in Montreal & Toronto I can kiss my husband right in the open... but here's some facts to look at:

Our western societies are still very young at accepting gays compared to some countries in Europe where gays have been living somewhat "normal" lives way before we did. There's places in Canada and the US that I would definitely advice against to show any same sex affection in public... people accepts but it's a yellow acceptance, nothing is really green, there will always be some fucktards coming to us making us feel inadequate and this is not going to stop tomorrow. It is perhaps much more tolerated but not completely accepted. I married my babe and in great pump too, because obviously I'm a rich boy and I have the power of money... which makes it easier for me to be accepted as a gay dude but the acceptance isn't real, it's tolerance.

Titanium is coming from a country for which homosexuality is a sin, but it won't remove the feelings that he has toward dudes and it will be to him to decide at some point in his life whether he wants to remain in a country that is bad for his safety. Many young men before him have made the step... yes it is a difficult decision to make but at the same time he has, like everyone else on this planet, the right to live and be who he wants to be and be with who he wants.

I know it may sounds easy for a foreigner to say so, but I have been in countries where homosexuality was a sin, I've been in Algeria, in Morocco, Egypt, Uganda and many other where being gay is punishable by law and I've got to say I've been disgusted by their archaic religious philosophy where a gay man is treated and chased as a wild animal just because of their sexual preferences.

Titanium will have to take a very difficult decision some day and I'm not the one to influence him, but if ever he looks for happiness in his lifestyle, he knows very well that he will never find it in his country with such archaic rules. But at the same time another country isn't a paradise either. The difficulty he has to find a boyfriend over there will be replicated in his adoptive country as well. Where we may have more choice in terms of getting dudes, finding the right one is as difficult as any other countries. Mine isn't even Canadian for instance .

Don't forget one thing BS... it seems that the gay community in the western part of the world seems very open, but yet can you explain why our teenagers have the highest level of suicide due to sexual preferences than any other countries in the world. That should be a hint to let you know that things aren't all beautiful and pink for our youth either. Westerners are hypocrites... at least in countries where homosexuality is a sin and punishable by law you will know the consequences forehand, while here there is a fake acceptance from societies and parents, which creates mental anguish and confusion that are to some levels worst than knowing that if you get caught, you get disown and/or killed. Here it's always about a surprise... over there there's no surprises, you will know the consequences.

Also the case of Titanium is similar to every new relationship... and moreover, Titanium and his boyfriend are new to relationship, and unfortunately first relationship are often not the last and now what he's feeling is what we all went through the very first time we break up with our first love whether it was with a dude or a dudette. Breaking up is difficult, it's really really difficult and adding to his country situation it seems more difficult, but if Titanium speaks to his boyfriend and see no changes, than it's really up to him to decide whether he wants to pursue this relationship or put an end to it and move on. Because after all his way of finding dudes is exactly the same way we find dudes here in the Western part of the world, through the Internet.

Breaking up and moving on is a hard decision that every couples that realize that they're having problems have to go through. Sure JW and I came up with some nice and beautiful love stories, and yes you guys can see how happy I am with my bombshell husband, but was it always blue skies and rainbows? Hell no! I met Alex he was 19, sexually uncontrollable and mentally he was looking for a magical relationship, but yet wanted some sort of freedom of getting fucked by who ever made him hard. Well we all been 16-19 years old and a light rub of a hand on your package will make you hard... relationship his a job, but when you find out that you can't perform your job anymore, the best is to look for change.

Relationship is complicated, no matter your beliefs, country or family situation... it's a work in progress and the work ends when the relation ends... and sometime it just doesn't end... I still have my exes in my entourage, Liam, Simon, Mike they are all our friends and some of them still have a thing for me and I would be lying saying that I do not have a thing for them... But Alex won

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Great story Jake:

My first bf was 16 years older than myself and the thing is, he looked much younger than the age he was. However, he was always being told how hot looking he was that he developed such an huge ego and he felt that I should be grateful and feel blessed that he wanted me into his life because he had so many other guys after him. But like you, I never focus on my looks and yet, I knew I was not an "ugly duckling or a pity fuck" because before and during our relationship, I've had guys who would come on to me all the time. This guy was so conceited that he liked to stare in the mirror at himself naked or while we were having sex. He had mirrors all on the walls and the ceiling so that he could watch his facial expressions.

However, what really got him pissed off was one night we went out to the club and one of my friends who didn't like him had asked me to dance. All of a sudden, while we were dancing, about ten guys formed a big circle around us and they each preceded to take turns dancing with me throughout several songs. Afterwards, each guy lined up in order to receive a kiss and a hug. My conceited ass bf got so pissed and jealous that he pouted and griped all the way home.

Once we got home, he wanted to have sex. What was funny this time was that when we started getting busy instead of him looking at himself in the mirrors, I pushed him aside and started looking at myself and stroking my cock and telling " You should feel thankful that I am with you because did you see all those guys who wanted to get with this???" He got so mad..lol..lol..so, as you've mentioned in an earlier post, yes, I have been with some crazy guys....lol..:rofl:

Hahaha loved that... yes I had boyfriends that seems to believe that they had a better shot than I did... but sometimes appearances isn't all it takes. I may not be as cute as Alex but I have some features that Alex doesn't have and which he would crave to have. LOL I'm a multi-talented dude who in his little 36 years of life have had several amazing experiences from travelling or just being a little bold... I have the "go get" attitude that Alex would love to have but is too shy to do.

Physically wise, Alex is beautiful yes... but body wise... my body is much more defined than his, I put him to shame in a bathing suit. We often have such fun comparing ourselves... but to us it's just a game because I love his body and mind and he adore my body and hate my mind hahaha. Alex favorite quote is "My hubby is a fucking know-it all asshole -- I can't win with him" LOL.

But never am I to seriously compare myself with Alex as we are both different, from a different era and education, he's a tall surfer dude and I'm a hard muscled up martial art artist... he's 6'1 and I'm 5'8, he weight 155-60 pounds and I weight 135lbs, but he found out that I can hold him against a wall way much longer than he can with me lol. (No it's not about fighting lol)

Although Alex is very aware of his cuteness he's not shallow to the point of looking at himself in the mirror while having sex... in fact we removed the mirror in our rooms so we focus on having sex with each other much more than looking our reflection... and if really we want to see each other have sex, we'll just turn on the camera.

Alex and I are a cute couple, we know it but we don't like it when people are saying it too much either and we stopped telling each other how beautiful one find the other... except when Alex is intoxicated with chocolate LOL. Then I'm compared with his favorite chocolate bar: Kit Kat )