I got "Home Aloned"...

[brmstn69]

I work maintenance in a grocery store and with today being Christmas Eve, we closed early. Except they all forgot about me working in the back of the store and locked me in alone.

Luckily, one of them noticed my car in the lot and realized I was still in there. Only problem is, that when the night manager locks up, he puts the keys in a locked drop box for the opening manager to retrieve. They ended up calling the boss to let me out...

 

[Jase]

Wow!!
Good thing that co-worker noticed your car.

 

[garth33]

Just think though....if you would have been stranded you could have run naked all over the store and put your junk on things you know people you don't like would have contact with....or not

just sayin'
g

 

[brmstn69]

Just think though....if you would have been stranded you could have run naked all over the store and put your junk on things you know people you don't like would have contact with....or not

just sayin'
g

Fuck that! There's a liquor aisle and a fully stocked pharmacy...

 

[c750dt]

I work in a grocery store too. Luckily here tho, everything is computerized and it's literally impossible to get locked in the store. I'm seafood BTW. In my state supermarkets can't sell liquor so we don't have a liquor aisle. We also lack a pharmacy. Out of curiosity, what chain do you work for? I work for Whole Foods.

 

[brmstn69]

I work in a grocery store too. Luckily here tho, everything is computerized and it's literally impossible to get locked in the store. I'm seafood BTW. In my state supermarkets can't sell liquor so we don't have a liquor aisle. We also lack a pharmacy. Out of curiosity, what chain do you work for? I work for Whole Foods.

I prefer not to mention the name of the company, but it's a smaller (97 stores) privately owned chain serving the mid-western area...

 

[c750dt]

I decided awhile ago in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I'm going to lock myself in a big supermarket like where I work. I'd live in one of the upstairs offices and whenever it was quiet and clear, I'd run downstairs with a basket and fill it with as much beer as I could.

 

[brmstn69]

I decided awhile ago in the event of a zombie apocalypse, I'm going to lock myself in a big supermarket like where I work. I'd live in one of the upstairs offices and whenever it was quiet and clear, I'd run downstairs with a basket and fill it with as much beer as I could.

"Zombie Apocalypse" This is my area of expertise, and there are some serious flaws with your plan...

First and foremost, looters. That store will be wiped out in no time. And even if you did manage to secure it from the looters, just think about all the meat, produce, and frozen food that will rot without refrigeration once the power goes out. The smell alone would kill you.

Me, I'm stealing a big luxury diesel pusher RV...


And parking it here...

Historic Bosse Field. A 100 year old ballpark surrounded with 12' brick walls and cast iron gates at all entrances. Conveniently located just 4 miles from my house, there's a park with stocked lake next door, a large creek near by, and the Ameriqual packing plant is right across the street. Ameriqual makes the MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) for the military, Red Cross, and FEMA...



The RV gives me all the modern luxuries like hot water and electricty, the stadium security, the lake and creek a source for water, Ameriqual gives me food. And in the event Ameriqual is picked clean, there's fish, in the lake along with geese and ducks, plenty of wildlife in the park to hunt, and room for crops in the stadium...

 

[tonka]

"Zombie Apocalypse" This is my area of expertise, and there are some serious flaws with your plan...

First and foremost, looters. That store will be wiped out in no time. And even if you did manage to secure it from the looters, just think about all the meat, produce, and frozen food that will rot without refrigeration once the power goes out. The smell alone would kill you.

Me, I'm stealing a big luxury diesel pusher RV...


And parking it here...

Historic Bosse Field. A 100 year old ballpark surrounded with 12' brick walls and cast iron gates at all entrances. Conveniently located just 4 miles from my house, there's a park with stocked lake next door, a large creek near by, and the Ameriqual packing plant is right across the street. Ameriqual makes the MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) for the military, Red Cross, and FEMA...



The RV gives me all the modern luxuries like hot water and electricty, the stadium security, the lake and creek a source for water, Ameriqual gives me food. And in the event Ameriqual is picked clean, there's fish, in the lake along with geese and ducks, plenty of wildlife in the park to hunt, and room for crops in the stadium...

A man with a PLAN!!!

 

[s123]

brmstn69 you've clearly thought long and hard about this!!

 

[brmstn69]

brmstn69 you've clearly thought long and hard about this!!

You have no idea...

I've very carefully planned this out. From this location everything I could possibly need is within a mile. Things I didn't point out, like a "Mountain Spring" bottled water plant a block away, a hospital 6 blocks away, along with dozens of medical offices and nursing homes, factories that make steel girders and sheet metal panels for building more walls, heavy construction equipment and supplies. There is even a set of railroad tracks that run right along side the stadium so I can fill tanker cars with diesel fuel from the fuel depot at the train yard and transport it right to my door to keep my generator and vehicles running...

It may sound excessive, but "zombie" planning can also work for a number of other disasters as well. It's just that the zombies actually make it fun...

 

[c750dt]

One would think a nursing home, hospital or other such place housing so many people already close to the pearly gates would pose an increased risk of zombie sightings.

 

[brmstn69]

One would think a nursing home, hospital or other such place housing so many people already close to the pearly gates would pose an increased risk of zombie sightings.

Have you not seen "The Walking Dead"? Zombies are a non issue, it's other survivors you need to worry about.

Besides, as I said before It's all part of my plan. I actually want a bunch of zombies near me. If you look at the pictures you'll see that there are lots of houses and other structures really close together surrounding the park and stadium.

My plan is to close the gaps between buildings and create a zombie filled maze around my stronghold.
Any rival survivors will get caught in a zombie infested dead end...


As a side note, all the so-called experts and preppers say the same thing, pack lightly and head out into the wilderness away from civilization and populated areas. I say there's a flaw in that plan, the unknown. You have no idea what you'll find, or if food and water will be available.

I say stick with what you know. I grew up in this neighborhood, I know it by heart, I know know which alleys are dead ends, which yards have fences that could trap me if I'm trying to escape and most importantly where to scavenge for food and supplies.

While the experts are eating grub worms and tree bark and drinking from mud puddles, I'll be dining on roast duck washed down with beer brewed with equipment from the micro-brewery down the block. And while they're freezing under a tarp hoping the trip wires and tin cans will alert them of approaching danger, I be warm and snug on a leather sofa watching porn, secure and confident that the brick walls, iron gates, and electronic security system will keep me safe...