if u're gay,, but you want to some children, what should u do??

[gb2000ie]

I don't intend to begin a debate on what is abstract or specific about my assertions, and I would offer that your statement is one of potential conjecture, since each family dynamic would be different - single parent vs an instance of a two parents with one being abusive. And whom are they abusing...their spouse, the kids, both? Is the abuse emotional, physical, some of each, what?? I've dealt with a number of families of varying blends, and I would not presume to say that one parent might be better than two unless there is validated and immediate physical harm about to occur.

I think you've made the point that I was trying to make - that each case is different, and that sweeping averages and generalisations paper over this. There are many situations where it's better to get one parent out of the family than to keep them in it. It's a sad reality that there are alcoholic parents who beat their kids, and that there are sick parents who sexually abuse their kids. For these families, the fact that in general, two-parent families are better, is irrelevant, for them, in their situation, a one-parent family would be much better.

I can't agree that we're getting side-tracked, since the intent of the original poster was to suggest marrying, fathering children, and then leaving his spouse - forcing her to be a single parent. Single parenthood directly conjoins the topic.

You're right - it is marginally related, but I think it's very much secondary to the pre-meditated breakup of a family. No family breakup - no matter how dysfunctional any parent may be - is ever easy, they are all difficult and traumatic, even in situations where the removal of a parent is better than that parent staying. To plan to inflict this kind of pain on kids is horrific. Anyone who could even contemplate doing such a thing should not be allowed near a child - or indeed near a woman, as he'd be putting her through massive emotional trauma too. To be honest - I think this 'plan' is actually sociopathic/psychopathic - clearly showing a lack of empathy and a total disregard for the feelings and well-being of others.

In a just society - it would also back-fire horribly - with a judge granting sole custody of these trophy kids to their mother.

B.

B.

 

[turkeyman]

Adoption

WHEN and only when you are in a commited relationship you have a need and the love to give a child then go for it. There are far to many kids that are just waiting and hoping for love and understanding.:duh:

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Hmmmm, what would we learn from that comparison, OZ ? :thinking:

Well, it's perhaps getting off-topic. It's just that people seem to observe a single-parent family that seems to be not ideal, and conclude that having the two parents around would be better, but they may have no idea what that particular family was like when both parents were present. As other members have already responded, quite eloquently.