In relationship but sex is not good!

[hardyan]

What to do?

I've been in a relationship with this guy who is so nice and kind. really a good person. but deep inside, I feel something off which is my sex life.

I miss being bottom and lately I've been watching porn but I can't resist. What to do? If hook up with NSA - I concern about Drama and Disease. I have been tested last month and very committed. Healthy and no disease by far.

Anyone here is experiencing this?

 

[jw4833]

I have not experienced this situation but I do know someone in my life that is going through this as we speak and has been going through it for the past ten years. However, he says that despite of this...he is so in love with his partner and yet due to the years of being together...he does not want to start over and he does not like being alone and therefore...he watches porn, masturbates, and goes to male strip shows. Nonetheless...whom am I to judge???...to each its own...whatever works in that relationship and so far after all those years...they are still together..

 

[gb2000ie]

I think honesty is the only approach I could recommend.

Have an open and honest discussion about it, and see what happens. Depending on your personalities, your beliefs and the specifics of the situation you might be able to come to a solution. Perhaps that might even involve bringing guests into the bedroom, or you sleeping with others with the full knowledge and consent of your partner.

If you value the relationship, the one thing you really can't do is sleep around behind his back.

B.

 

[Whisper]

Do you love him? Have you talked about this with him? If you love him and want the relationship to work, then talk with him and try to find the solution together. Communication is extremely important in relationship

 

[topdog]

You are getting great advice from Whisper and GB2000ie. The big issue here isn't sex - it's about whether you and your boyfriend can deal with the situation where the two of you need / want different things. This isn't a bad thing.

Sometimes just bringing up a subject like this can be terrifying. What if this becomes an issue that breaks up the romance?

Here's the headline: If you two can't talk about this, then it already has. So, in a sense you have nothing to lose.

And who knows? Maybe the BF is hoping for some sexual variety as well.

 

[bigsal]

As always happens when you are faced with a sensitive issue, the good advice never fail.
However, every story is different from any other.

I only speak from personal experience, the relationship with your partner must be complete. Only the feeling is not enough, as well as it is not enough the sex.

Being able to complete a relationship is not easy, but it's worth a try.

 

[solo]

Be open about your concern and that honesty can be freeing.

 

[W!nston]

If you already feel insecure about the future of your relationship bringing a third party into the bedroom will only magnify those feelings. I'm not a licensed therapist but even I can predict that much.

You should take time to look within yourself and find why you feel unfulfilled sexually. You are the only person who can make that judgment. You know what you need to feel fulfilled. No one else can tell you. If your needs are greater or different than what your partner offers then you will never feel fulfilled.

Depending on your life situation such as where you live and how hard it is in your culture or society to find someone who ticks all the boxes on your list of needs and desires in a mate is how you should judge your relationship. If your partner ticks most of the boxes and that is as close as you may ever get you might consider that before you throw the baby out with the bath water.

Look, no one is perfect and that goes for you and me too. Your partner may feel as you do and he may be looking for a better sex life. A relationship, a marriage, is about so much more than sex. Sex is what brings couples together but compatibility is the glue that holds it together for a life time. Lifetime relationships require a lot of work, compromise and sacrifice whether your are Str8 or Gay.

Good luck

 

[Shelter]

A relationship, a marriage, is about so much more than sex. Sex is what brings couples together but compatibility is the glue that holds it together for a life time. Lifetime relationships require a lot of work, compromise and sacrifice whether your are Str8 or Gay.

Good luck

:agree::agree::agree::agree:

These words are GREAT and they are showing so much life experience. With these words you have said everything.

Well sex is important - it is VERY important for you for me for all of us. I don't want to renounce it. But if you and your BF really and honestly love one the other you will find a way, because LOVE is more than sex!

 

[gb2000ie]

:
Well sex is important - it is VERY important for you for me for all of us.

I think it gets less important as you get older.

Because of illness, myself and my hubby have had a very sparse sex life over the last few years. Early in our relationship I think it might have been an issues, but after 11 years together, helping my hubby be as healthy as he can despite his illness is infinitely more important.

He is ill, so his libido is teeny, I'm healthy, so mine is quite high - solution? With his full knowledge and consent I hang out here, and share vids and pics on sites like XTube. If we didn't talk about it I think that would count as cheating, but because it's done openly and honestly, it's not.

If you value a relationship, and there is something not right, talk about it! If you don't, what ever it is will keep niggling at you until your mind turns it from a molehill into a mountain.

B.

 

[W!nston]

I think it gets less important as you get older.

Because of illness, myself and my hubby have had a very sparse sex life over the last few years. Early in our relationship I think it might have been an issues, but after 11 years together, helping my hubby be as healthy as he can despite his illness is infinitely more important.

He is ill, so his libido is teeny, I'm healthy, so mine is quite high - solution? With his full knowledge and consent I hang out here, and share vids and pics on sites like XTube. If we didn't talk about it I think that would count as cheating, but because it's done openly and honestly, it's not.

If you value a relationship, and there is something not right, talk about it! If you don't, what ever it is will keep niggling at you until your mind turns it from a molehill into a mountain.

B.

Well said GB. That profound wisdom is something life teaches us after years of experience. It is easy to pass along but harder to understand until life teaches us.

Your solution is another stroke of wisdom and it comes from a deep love and devotion. Many men may lack your wisdom and choose to look for greener pastures instead of finding a way to make greener the pasture you love.

 

[Shelter]

I think it gets less important as you get older.

Because of illness, myself and my hubby have had a very sparse sex life over the last few years. Early in our relationship I think it might have been an issues, but after 11 years together, helping my hubby be as healthy as he can despite his illness is infinitely more important.

He is ill, so his libido is teeny, I'm healthy, so mine is quite high - solution? With his full knowledge and consent I hang out here, and share vids and pics on sites like XTube. If we didn't talk about it I think that would count as cheating, but because it's done openly and honestly, it's not.

If you value a relationship, and there is something not right, talk about it! If you don't, what ever it is will keep niggling at you until your mind turns it from a molehill into a mountain.

B.

Whow GB - I know in political matters we are not on the same way - but what you have told here is not fervor, not young love - but it is real and honest DEEP LOVE! Perhaps it will sound outdated - but I'll bow deep my head in front of you! Your disclosure here depicts to me how I want to be! Ever you will have my sign of respect for these words! :thumbs up::heart::thumbs up: