is it MISERABLE to be gay?

[rebornme40]

With so many external and internal pressures such as the pressure from conventional parents to witness their son to get married soon he is old enough (in reality the son is a closeted gay), the people around u who think you are differentm the internal pressure of wanting to be like others having their own families, can i summarize that it is MISERABLE being born gay.

 

[Mamah]

It can be hard work, I agree, but I found that being miserable is only a stage. Eventually I hope you find your way through it and are happy.

 

[jw4833]

I have to say that society makes something that could be so adaptable if they allow to open their minds and look at it from the perspective that it's natural and not a choice. However, because the majority of society does not choose to look at it from this point of view, it can cause a great deal of misery whether your comfortable or uncomfortable in accepting and embracing your sexual orientation. There will be a time or place where the thought of feeling miserable will come into play. With all the killing and gay bashing that is occurring as of most recent, it does make you feel as if everyone is going backwards instead of forward with accepting and respecting one's individuality to be who they are. This is not to say that I have not come to terms of my sexuality, but its makes me kind of sad to know that after all these years, that the only gay people who actually gets recognition of acceptance to a certain degree, are those who are in the media spotlight and they have the money and fortune to avoid going through the reality issues as those who are not. Something to think about from time to time..good question..

 

[Tjerk12]

Well spoken jw. I think that if we could return to a situation that your sexuality is being accepted as a private matter the problem would be solved. No banners with I am a heterosexual, a lesbo, gay or somebody who hates sex. There is absolutely no need for that. What you do in your bedroom should be your own business.

 

[ritsuka]

No, I definitely don't think it's miserable being gay--I think the miserable ones are the homophobes, and I'm glad to make them miserable. It's a great thing for presumptuous, self-absorbed parents to be shown that they were wrong in assuming their children would be straight or interested in living the same lifestyle as them. We can do a lot of other things with our lives than being tied down by marriage and children the minute we come of age.

As someone who never blended in, who was called a "faggot" by everyone from the age of 12 or so, I refuse to hide behind some apolitical shame. Things can improve in wider society, but only if we don't silence ourselves.

 

[232356]

I think being gay is awesome. I love my life and no one can stop me. I am who I am. And it was funny cause no one knew I was gay, Total straight boy (if you saw or hung out with me) but I like the dick

 

[serendip]

would love to hang out with you 232356....heheeheeh.... i love straight acting gays... as i am....

 

[edkiko]

with so many external and internal pressures such as the pressure from conventional parents to witness their son to get married soon he is old enough (in reality the son is a closeted gay), the people around u who think you are differentm the internal pressure of wanting to be like others having their own families, can i summarize that it is miserable being born gay.

i agrre with rebornme40.

 

[wowts2nw]

I understand why being gay is miserable, because they want to fit in and don't want to be stereotyped and hated. But the poroblem isn't being gay-- the problem is all of the haters that say being gay is wrong and mistreat gay people. If no one did that then none of those guys would feel ashamed or depressed about being gay.

 

[DAI]

hell no it'd be miserable, I mean all my friends were cool with me being gay, I didn't have to say "hey, look at me, I'm gay" to get those hater attention, just live my life as much as I can and enjoy every single minutes of it, so I am glad that I am gay, for sure Btw, my friend think that two guys kissing definitely the hottest thing ever

 

[Winger]

I think it is extremely dependent on the person, both in terms of their environment and their own personality. Being miserable is not an inevitability, but for many it's a stage, maybe even a rite of passage before acceptance.

I worry about the people who never come out. There's all sorts of countries in the world where being openly gay is virtually impossible for all but the most confident, privileged and mobile.

 

[tomacook]

being gay

it may be a miserable feeling to be secretly gay but it feels so good when you finally accept yourself & come out. the ignorance of others is something we just have to learn to deal with

 

[petrovic]

I am lucky because I live in a very open society, and have never had any problems. My partner of 10 years (soon to be husband), and I work for the gov't and are both completly out.

 

[trencherman]

To be gay in a religious fundamentalist country can be miserable and oftentimes fatal. Here in North America, I find it amusing that miserable straight married people whose lives are much worse than mine kind of look down on me. But my come back to them is in that old familiar saying, living well is the best revenge.

 

[topdog]

With so many external and internal pressures such as the pressure from conventional parents to witness their son to get married soon he is old enough (in reality the son is a closeted gay), the people around u who think you are differentm the internal pressure of wanting to be like others having their own families, can i summarize that it is MISERABLE being born gay.

No, I definitely don't think it's miserable being gay--I think the miserable ones are the homophobes, and I'm glad to make them miserable...

I think ritsuka brings an interesting point. Rebornme40, you have given a list of reasons why your family and the people around you should be miserable, not you. It sounds like you are trying to take the misery on yourself, so they don't have to experience it. Ritsuka is saying that each of these things is really their issue, not yours.

You can choose to keep protecting them if you are willing to give up the hope of being happy and loved in the future. But that is a terrible price for you to pay, personally. It also deprives the world of the real love and full potential that you could contribute.

I don't mean to bring up religion, but I think that this saying by Jesus is at least a wise thought: "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it. Whoever risks loosing his life will find it." You can try to keep what you have - being well thought of by family and friends - and stay unhappy. Or you could let go of their expectations, and take a chance that there is something better. It's a risky, gutsy, scary leap; and no one is pretending that it's easy or comfortable.

OK, now I'll bring up religion. I believe that you were made to be more than just "a good little boy" who respects his parents and community. You were made to love and be loved completely. You were made to let the world see and be affected by every part of your being and talents.

Paraphrasing one more saying of Jesus: Please don't hide your beautiful light under a box just because you think it will make other people happy.

 

[Phryxis]

it is if you ain't getting laid

 

[luxferre]

it is if you ain't getting laid

yes...it's sad

getting laid is powerfull medicine for this kind of problem

 

[zachalaska]

I agree with a previous poster that homophobes are the unhappy one. Being gay sometimes isn't as easy as I would like but I have been blessed with understanding family and great friends... I so guess I am happy!

 

[wablood]

No. Every demographic has the potential to be "miserable." But to even ask if "Being Gay means Being Miserable" is absurd.

 

[flipper]

I used to be miserable. I was looking for a long-term relationship, but all the guys I hooked up with were wanting an open relationship. What they were really saying was that we'll be together till I find something better (or bigger) and while we are together, I'm going to continue to look. I met my partner (of 23 yrs.) when he was only 14. He told me that I could do better than the boy I was with. I asked who he had in mind. He blushed. I told him to look me up when he turned 17. I had pretty much given up hopes of finding the partner I was after, when Rich showed up at my door on his 17th birthday and reminded me of our conversation. We've been together ever since. The first 20 years was a rollercoaster ride. We had more bad times than good. But slowly things got better, and now I'm glad we stuck it out.