Isnt being straight a mental contradiction?

[frontlemon]

Hello guys, I always pondered over one question: We know that a person loves herself/himself the most - we are all selfish... but then how come a straight person love a person of the opposite sex?

(I am not talking about unconditional love - because I believe that if someone can really love unconditionally then she/he can definitely love each and everything in the creation)

I have always thought to ask the question to my fellow straight friends, but either didn't dare to ask or couldn't find a capable person who could think and ask oneself about this issue.

So what do you guys think?

 

[W!nston]

Love has many faces but it's all the same emotion. Some love themselves a little too much, lol.

There is no contradiction my friend. Love is love is love. That is why we want the love we feel for our partners to be recognized as equal to our heterosexual counterparts.

 

[Shelter]

Frontlemon sorry, but I don't understand your question or your problem. Why should being straight a mental contradiction? Why isn't gay a mental contradiction? And why shouldn't a straight person - he or she - love a person of the opposite sex? They are STRAIGHT and straight men love women or vice versa.

And what is the difference between "love" and "unconditional love". I think real love will always be unconditional. Anyway so I'm feeling! I'm gay and I couldn't imagine to have sex with a woman - so I couldn't love a woman in a sexual manner - but nevertheless I love women and I know many of them as good friends. I love my boyfriend deep and unconditional. And as well a straight man will love a woman deep and unconditional.

But perhaps, through the language barrier (I'm German), I have something in your question misunderstood. So please help me!

 

[Whisper]

Straight person here... And I have no idea what you are trying to say, is it because of the language, after all English is not my first language.

But you ask how a straight person can love the opposite gender. How can a human being love another human being? Is "straight love" any different than "gay love"? Or is this just because you don't find the opposite gender attractive (in romantic & sexual way), and that is why you can't understand "straight love"? Love is love, that's all, no matter what sexuality/ gender.

 

[dargelos]

The reason love exists is that otherwise there would be nothing for pop singers to sing about.
But if you want a more serious answer;
Sexual attraction is a biological function, the result of a precise balance of chemicals in the body. Take any man who has ever been born. Alter that balance one way and he will only get a hard on looking at girls. Alter that balance the other way and he will only get a hard on from boys, and there is nothing he or the government or laws or religion can do to change that. Set the mix half way and you get bisexuality.
Even primitive lifeforms with limited brainpower instinctivley know what sort of sex they want and how to go looking for it. Proof can be seen in any Wetherspoons bar.
To understand the deeper meaning of love we need someone who understands philosophy, probably someone whose name ends in a 9.

 

[frontlemon]

If I think of love as desire to share everything with the person you love, to feel the same way, to have a feeling of oneness... but then I think ... is it possible to feel like like the opposite sex...since in most soceities men and women are taught from their very childhood to think differently, then isnt it "easier" for homosexuals to "love" than "heterosexuals"? :?
If I think, more in the lines of a "biological function" as "dargelos" pointed out in his post then I would say that I read one article that came out in a science magazine that said that, by the evolutionary logic, men are supposed to be polygamic (since a man is able to fertilize many women) while women by nature is monogamic (because she has to spend time bearing and rearing a child) and this seemed to be a universal phenomena. It was also claimed that this different pschylogical outlook is very likely to account for a majority of differences in the way a man and a woman perceives, solves and executes various actions in day to day life that are not even related to sexual desires.
Please, to everyone, dont be offended by my post as it is not meant to hurt anyone of any orientation. :worried:
I just want to collect all the various thoughts that you might have. :thinking:

 

[Whisper]

If I think, more in the lines of a "biological function" as "dargelos" pointed out in his post then I would say that I read one article that came out in a science magazine that said that, by the evolutionary logic, men are supposed to be polygamic (since a man is able to fertilize many women) while women by nature is monogamic (because she has to spend time bearing and rearing a child) and this seemed to be a universal phenomena. It was also claimed that this different pschylogical outlook is very likely to account for a majority of differences in the way a man and a woman perceives, solves and executes various actions in day to day life that are not even related to sexual desires.
Please, to everyone, dont be offended by my post as it is not meant to hurt anyone of any orientation. :worried:
I just want to collect all the various thoughts that you might have. :thinking:

Well, from woman's point of view... Speaking of sexual desires, I'd say both men and women are naturally more polygamic BUT what is considered as "normal and acceptable" for men is different for women. Women are "supposed to be" less sexual beings, woman with more "experience" is considered as "bad/ slut/ immoral" when a man in same situation is treated with totally different attitude and standard. This way of thinking is still so deeply rooted in our minds...

About men getting women pregnant and women taking care of the children makes me see red (no, not angry at you, frontlemon). What makes women the "better" when taking care of a child (not talking about pregnancy etc)? For example in divorce situations the children almost automatically goes to mother, and or which one is more "acceptable" in our minds: mom staying home with a sick child or dad (if both of them would have the equal chance doing so) ?

Hmm, and my point to all this... We still think too much in labels etc. We after all are humans first, we all have our sexual desires, we are capable to love, and so on. When we start naming things and putting them into categories, the troubles begin...

...and this happens when I wake up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep...

 

[frontlemon]

Let me tell you what led me to start this thread...:worried:

A few months before, I was visiting a gay blog in BlogSpot and by chance I hit the "next blog" link and it took me to a blog that posts highly homophobic contents (how conveniently placed). Any way I marked that blog with google for promoting hatred. :angry:
Next I would like to mention Davieboy2's "Hate crime faces and stories" in this blog's "Gay themed streams" section and was quite infuriated at the way how a human being treats fellow human beings :angry: Not only this, we can find many similar posts all over the "Gay themed movies" section.

I concluded - hatred of any kind stems from the inability of understanding others point of view: this is one of the things that makes human beings different from other animals - we have the ability to imagine - to be able to put us in others shoes.

The logic that many of the homophobic blogs put up may be summed up as follows:
1. Being gay is psychologically fallacious and there cannot be true love in a gay relationship :no:
2. Its uncommon in nature :no:
3. Its against god! :angry:

This post is kind of my exploration of a suitable argument against point 1.
Against point 2, I can argue that nature is always composed of opposites which may "seem" to be asymmetric in their numbers but numbers are not a measure of the importance: there are many stars but a few black holes (considering them as sources and sinks of light) but black holes are very important in the creation of the universe and the creation of life.
In response to point 3, (I don't know whether and when god has posted in these blogs as asked them to be homophobic) I don't have any argument as I think argument is futile against blind faith (especially if corrupted with hatred). :worried:
As a support for my previous post in this thread, I would like to know how many straight females are members of this blog as opposed to the number of members of straight males. (I know its +1 to the females from the previous post :thumbs up

 

[Whisper]

You can add at least one more, so +2 straight females