Question for this whole showing thyself off thread.

[Pokis]

O.K. I may be different, but I find beauty in an entire body, meaning face et alii. I am very curious as to why many people call someone gorgeous based solely on their cock and or body. We all know that people can have a butterface, and I challenge most anyone to disagree that if the face is bad everything else can make up for it. We are all human and symmetry is gorgeous. As a whole, we mostly find the same models beautiful. It all has to do with their face. Bodies come & go and get very similar at the end of the day; but, faces are unique, pretty and sensual. I want to know what a person looks like before I consider them "gorgeous, beautiful, hot, or w/e other adjective you can use"

I am truly curious, because I have lost a shit ton of faith in this site recently. I want to love everything this place has to offer, but at face value I feel that it is doing nothing but promote our worst stereotypes. When and if I feel that all of this is untrue then I will post some more pics of myself. I have already had my previous post removed due to this feeling. So, please help me out (it would mean a lot).

I am sorry if I sound like a prude, but I hate our image and hate that I do not feel like I belong in my own community.

~Pokis~

P.S. Last edit, because I am drunkish and cannot remember perfect English. I have edited too much and I am sure tomorrow I will see that I am wrong in my edits lol. I just hate bad grammar. Here's to hopping all of you are well and had a good 4th of July!

 

[smallsleepyrascalcat]

I don't really undertand what this post is about.

Do you complain about most of the GH-Hotties not showing their face?

If yes, then I'm very disappointed. Maybe you did not care about your nude body being linked to your face, but some people do. They want to stay as anonymous as possible but show as much off of themself as possible.

If I missunderstood you, please make out clear what you wanted to say.

Until then I request to suspend your status as a GH-Hottie -> No Thread No badge!

 

[Voyager]

Until then I request to suspend your status as a GH-Hottie -> No Thread No badge!

We felt a little different about this situation.

For personal reasons, Pokis did request his images be removed, but we felt that he had reached the 5 pages and earned the Hotties badge. Obviously to reach that page, other members here felt the same.

The staff did not feel it was right to take away something that had been earned.

 

[peter123]

We felt a little different about this situation.

For personal reasons, Pokis did request his images be removed, but we felt that he had reached the 5 pages and earned the Hotties badge. Obviously to reach that page, other members here felt the same.

The staff did not feel it was right to take away something that had been earned.

Answering and commenting only this one point:
the staff is right, a badge has been earned and should not be taken away,
a thread can be deleted for several reasons, that's a thing of the creator for his own. THX:thumbs up:

 

[JonnyFantastico]

O.K. I may be different, but I find beauty in an entire body, meaning face et alii. I am very curious as to why many people call someone gorgeous based solely on their cock and or body. We all know that people can have a butterface, and I challenge most anyone to disagree that if the face is bad everything else can make up for it. We are all human and symmetry is gorgeous. As a whole, we mostly find the same models beautiful. It all has to do with their face. Bodies come & go and get very similar at the end of the day; but, faces are unique, pretty and sensual. I want to know what a person looks like before I consider them "gorgeous, beautiful, hot, or w/e other adjective you can use"

I am truly curious, because I have lost a shit ton of faith in this site recently. I want to love everything this place has to offer, but at face value I feel that it is doing nothing but promote our worst stereotypes. When and if I feel that all of this is untrue then I will post some more pics of myself. I have already had my previous post removed due to this feeling. So, please help me out (it would mean a lot).

I am sorry if I sound like a prude, but I hate our image and hate that I do not feel like I belong in my own community.

~Pokis~

I'm sorry to be so straightforward, but I find this entire thing hypocritical. First of all, you participated in this thread and could see from the countless other posts just what was going on and how other people were posting... and yet, you still participated. For you to suddenly speak out on it is kind of baffling. If you're going to speak on promoting the worst stereotypes, then you fit right into that one because you did it yourself.

If I'm not mistaken, weren't you the same person who was fishing for compliments because you felt your penis wasn't up to par on everyone else's? You got your comments and people thought you were fine the way you are (myself included), so where's the place in speaking on the very same things you did? You could've easily chosen not to post yourself and yet, you decided otherwise. You also went out of the way to record a video for us, so let's be real here: who is really in the wrong here?

Don't attack others for showing off what they choose to show. Kai is right; some people choose to stay somewhat anonymous and that is their choice and rightfully so. I personally haven't minded showing my face here (and I think a slightly naughty photo of me in undies once upon a time) because it was my decision to do that.

I don't know what changed your mind over time or what made you feel the need to decide to bash others for expressing themselves in the way they choose, but for someone who has a "hottie" badge, you just showed another stereotype in some gay men and managed to show quite the ugly side to yourself. You have no right to speak on someone else's life in this fashion and I hope you grow up a bit before you attempt to ration your mindset to someone else's.

I won't say what should happen to your badge since you think so lowly of it all of a sudden; that will be dealt with the admins and mods of GH (and from Voyager's words, have already been decided), but let others here feel free to share such an intimate part of themselves without so much disdain attached to the act. You can blame it on the alcohol if you'd like, but I'm a strong believer of "en vino veritas", so take that as you will.

OK, I've spoken my piece. Forgive me for being so strong, guys; I just really don't like hypocrisy at all. Have a great one!

 

[XMan101]

This forum caters for all tastes. This section is for those who like to be adventurous or enjoy being looked at, and for those who enjoy looking at ordinary next-door type guys without all the studio posed hype etc.

There are many areas in the forum if this isn't to anyone's taste. You can't stop people complimenting, admiring or lusting over a hot body, it's quite natural and I don't believe in denying or supressing the natural urges

It's all quite harmless and above all it's consenting on all sides. Unless someone posts someone else's photos (which can happen anywhere) there is a mutual mix of admiration and self expression!

I don't see any stereotyping , you think this doesn't happen in the so called straight world ? It happens the same amongst humans of all sexual persuasions and amongst both male and female, it's a human instinct.

I get the feeling you just got a bit bashful perhaps Don't condemn others though, live and let live as they wish if no harm is done .

If anyone wishes the discussion continues I'll move it to the porn & sex discussion area.

I'm happy to read all views and glad we have diversity of opinion on here, it makes for an interesting forum

 

[gb2000ie]

This forum is for people to share AS MUCH AS THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH WITHOUT PRESSURE. Some people choose to show their face, some don't, that's a personal choice, and I don't see what at all it has to do with any stereotyping.

I choose not to show my face because I live in a society where it could cause me problems. If I lived in a more open and tolerant society I would show my face without hesitation, but I don't, so I didn't.

It's hard to find the exact point being made in the original post because it rambles a bit, but I can't find anything in it to agree with, and much to disagree with.

B.

 

[Pokis]

First and foremost I apologize for offending anyone. That was not my intention at all.

It is usually safe to assume that I am drunk, I do it often, this time I was not. So, thank you for jumping to conclusions, but I am not using that as an excuse for anything. I was very angry at the time and used you guys as an outlet to vent. That's not my place or privilege and that is what I am most sorry for. Looking back, I really should have thought it out much more before posting, because even reading what I wrote pisses me off. I was not thinking clearly and said many things that I regret.

I am not saying that it makes everything OK simply because I regret it, nor am I saying that you all don't have a right to be very pissed off at me.

I never meant to say that people should be forced to show their faces. Even I was really nervous about doing that.

I never wanted it to be portrayed that I was attacking other people for their posts. It takes a lot of gumption to post anything of yourself, anywhere. I respect the hell out of anyone who has posted anything at all.

I was very frustrated and I certainly shouldn't have posted that in this thread. It's home is elsewhere on the forums.

What I really wanted to understand is why I don't feel any attachment to a community that I am told I belong to. I don't get Gay Pride, honestly I don't get any kind of Pride. I feel that it is very cocky to make a statement that 'We're here, get over it', which is what I see at any Pride my friends drag me to. I go in the hopes that something will give me the urge to want to be a part of it, but it never happens.
I do understand the desire to want to show yourself off and share yourself with others, you guys actually helped me to understand. It feels great, and hell yes I fished for compliments because it was nice to finally hear some. What I didn't get about this forum is the almost animalistic comments some people receive.

Thinking a lot about it since last night I realize that I do not have to fully understand everything, no one person can, but I do want to figure out why I feel like the gay community just doesn't apply to me. It's like I am being a really ungrateful gay guy for everything that the Community has accomplished in the last 40 years and I hate that. I want to give back in any way that I can, but it is very hard to do that when I don't feel like it's a place that I belong.

That is much more of what I actually wanted to say. I was angry as all hell and let that turn my words into acid and shit. Again, I cannot apologize enough for how many people this must have truly hurt or made anyone feel like they aren't good enough simply because they did not show their face. If I could afford it I'd send everyone beer, flowers and a masseuse to make them feel even more gorgeous than they already are.

I am not asking everyone to be my psychiatrist, I am sure I need one, but I would just honestly like to ask: What am I missing? Why do I not see what many of you seem to see that makes this community so desirable? Also, if anyone lives in the Huntington Beach area, what can I do to help/are there any websites that I can visit that will tell me where local LGBT help is needed? Has anyone else felt the same as I do now? If so, what are some of the things you tried?

Shit, sorry that turned into a SAT like question. Thank you all very much for allowing me to vent and for telling me to stfu on my original post. Sorry specifically to Jonny, it seems like I really pissed in your cheerios and I am sure many other peoples' as well.

Lastly, for the record, when I asked for my posting to be removed, I fully expected my Hottie badge to be revoked and told the moderators that it was very understandable. Their decision for me to keep it was their own and I am grateful that they decided the way they did. I do not have any kind of disdain for the badge, it feels a little odd that one is attached to me, but that is my own internal bullshit. For anyone to earn one takes some effort and I find the whole idea of the badge itself very uplifting. It's just a friggen awesome idea.

Thank you all, have a great night and maybe one day they will invent a pill to finally fix crazy.

~Scott~

 

[peter123]

Just completely independent from Pokis I agree with gb2000ie:

"This forum is for people to share AS MUCH AS THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH WITHOUT PRESSURE. Some people choose to show their face, some don't, that's a personal choice...."

:thumbs up::thumbs up:

That's fine this way and I hope it will stay this way....

 

[XMan101]

Hi Scott

There are many diverse people here, in the "gay community" at large, and in the population at large. What works for one doesn't for another, but being gay doesn't make you a part of one community, that community is split into many different avenues. I don't enjoy night clubs and high energy music, on the surface it would look as if I didn't belong, no, I just don't belong to the high energy night club loving side of things

THE community is the human race, and everybody is different. There is no need to try and fit into the mould of the part of it you don't feel comfortable with.

By discussion and interaction you'll find there is a lot more to people, and the great members here too, than you might perceive on the surface .

Don't feel bad about giving an opinion, it's by provoking replies you learn more and increase your understanding

I'll move this to discussions now .

 

[gb2000ie]

Thanks for the apology Scott - much appreciated!

I think you are mixing up parts of the gay community with the gay community as a whole. I consider myself a part of the gay community, but I never go out 'on the scene' and I don't take part in pride because I feel it's time has passed in Ireland, and that it's becoming more harmful than helpful to the gay cause. "Look, we're different and proud of it" and "we're just normal people like everyone else and we just want the same rights you have" don't seem compatible to me, and I think in Ireland we're at the stage where the latter is the right message, not the former, while a decade ago the former was the right message.

As far as I'm concerned, the most important service any gay person can provide for their fellow gay people is to be out. That's much easier for some than for others, so not every gay person can be out, but if you can, and you are, then you're helping everyone. It's easy to hate an anonymous "them" but hard to hate people you know personally.

In a sense there is no gay community, just a loose federation of groups of people who are brought together by their shared sexual identity. You don't have to fit in everywhere in the greater gay community to fit in somewhere. I also think the idea of a massive monoculture is horrible, and that the reality we have no with lots of loose groupings is much better. I feel at home here on this site in this small part of the larger gay community, but I don't feel at home in many other parts of the larger community, so what - I have somewhere I call home, so I'm happy with that and don't need any more.

Hope that makes sense,

B.

 

[Pokis]

Thanks for the apology Scott - much appreciated!

I think you are mixing up parts of the gay community with the gay community as a whole. I consider myself a part of the gay community, but I never go out 'on the scene' and I don't take part in pride because I feel it's time has passed in Ireland, and that it's becoming more harmful than helpful to the gay cause. "Look, we're different and proud of it" and "we're just normal people like everyone else and we just want the same rights you have" don't seem compatible to me, and I think in Ireland we're at the stage where the latter is the right message, not the former, while a decade ago the former was the right message.

As far as I'm concerned, the most important service any gay person can provide for their fellow gay people is to be out. That's much easier for some than for others, so not every gay person can be out, but if you can, and you are, then you're helping everyone. It's easy to hate an anonymous "them" but hard to hate people you know personally.

In a sense there is no gay community, just a loose federation of groups of people who are brought together by their shared sexual identity. You don't have to fit in everywhere in the greater gay community to fit in somewhere. I also think the idea of a massive monoculture is horrible, and that the reality we have no with lots of loose groupings is much better. I feel at home here on this site in this small part of the larger gay community, but I don't feel at home in many other parts of the larger community, so what - I have somewhere I call home, so I'm happy with that and don't need any more.

Hope that makes sense,

B.

Sweet Jesus, thank you. This does all make sense and between you and Xman I can see that I don't have to fit into one spec of the "Gay Society" that is so portrayed.

I've done the club scene, I have done the anonymous sex, I have done the drugs, the bullshit and the angry scene of "I am here, Fuck You". I thought that's was all there was, I am apparently very wrong.

I am coming to realize that we are all gay as all hell, but at the same time, we are still an individual who has different needs and aspects of life. In every way, shape and form.

However, I still do not feel like I am worthy of calling myself a gay man. I am out to my friends and family. I love, friggen love guys. But, I will openly condone what other gay men are doing simply because I do not agree with it.

Should I not embrace them for being so open? Should I not give them the chance simply because they are part of a minute society like I am?

I feel like I am letting down my fellow gay man, simply because I have a very hard time embracing them,

I am very sorry if this is offensive, but I cannot be around a flamboyant guy for more than 10 minutes. I feel, that he is an extension of me, just much more exemplified. However, It is just too much, I cannot take it and it makes me feel like I am denying a part of myself.

Hope that makes sense. Rofl

 

[JonnyFantastico]

I think XMan already said it best: we're not born to fit into one proper mold. Even though we may share the same sexuality, it doesn't mean that we automatically have one section of life to fit into. We're original by nature and while that may be kind of hard to cope with at times, I don't think it should be any way. We all find our way as time goes on and considering you're so young, you probably shouldn't be too worried about "fitting in" anyway. Hell, I'm a little older than you and I still don't know where I belong, but I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

As for your original comments in the beginning, Scott; it's all good. No hair off of my back or piss in my Cheerios; it's all good. I'm sorry if I came off strongly in my initial (and still truthful) thoughts; just be yourself and be the person that feels right to you, no one else.

And by the way, you're still fucking adorable. :heart:

 

[gb2000ie]

I am very sorry if this is offensive, but I cannot be around a flamboyant guy for more than 10 minutes. I feel, that he is an extension of me, just much more exemplified. However, It is just too much, I cannot take it and it makes me feel like I am denying a part of myself.

We're all different, and we're not all compatible with each other. Some people like the company of quiet people, others of boisterous people, others of flamboyant people, and so on and so forth. We're also all annoyed by some kinds of people, but that's fine too, there are people who will be annoyed by what ever kind we are too.

Hang around with the people you like, don't hang around with the people you don't, simple! The key to a happy society is one where we can live and let live, you don't have to like everyone, you just have to tolerate them!

Being gay is just a very small part of all our lives. It's something that gives us common ground with all gay people, so we're probably more likely to like them than an average person, but there will still be loads and loads of gay people that really annoy us, and loads and loads of straight people that really annoy us, and likewise loads of gay and straight people we like and get on with.

At the end of the day, you're only letting other gay people down if you work against gay rights, and if you encourage or fail to stand up against abuse, discrimination, and oppression. Don't worry about not liking all gay people, as long as you're not joining the gay bashing you have their back!

B.

 

[hawtsean]

As for your original comments in the beginning, Scott; it's all good. No hair off of my back or piss in my Cheerios

Awww, dammit Jonny - and here I was thinking to invite you to a kink breakfast. Shit, new plans needed now!! heheheheheheehehe