Super horny feelings away from relationship

[Otage]

So, been in relationship soon for one and half year, and maybe the summer has smth to do with it, but I feel super horny towards other people than my partner. Is this normal course of relationship? I feel like I'm not getting what I want sexually, but few months a go broblem like this didn't exists. Any experience? Am I getting bored of my partner sexually? I also feel like I don't see common future, even though I can't imagine my own future Is it a normal phase? Thinking like "is this the one, or could there be some one more fitting for me?"

 

[turkeyboy]

Oh the Summer & warmer months to build up the hormones and sexual frivolities of life. I have found this time to be my most adventurous times (coming from a 60 yr old) from a sexual point of view.
No, I don't think you're getting bored of your partner, but maybe you need to "spice things up a bit", eg, games & just generally appreciating events together and having fun, after all, you have been together for 18 months or so.
Don't start the caper "is this the one, or could there be some one more fitting for me?" , cause let's face it, our minds think differently to that which we truly want and human nature will "ALWAYS THINK WE CAN DO BETTER", but that simply will not be true in actual.
I'm thinking you have a good basis for a relationship on it's way to being heavenly, but, only you can decide it's outcome. For this, I wish you well.

 

[chaitanya]

Monotony and boredom are parts of human life. It's not the question of summer or winter. It's about our desires.
Just before asking the question - IS THIS PERSON THE ONE; I personally prefer asking myself - Am I the person whom I wish to be?! If the answer is 'YES', then I am a saint. Then I have no desire. But if the answer is 'NO', then that makes me a regular human being with all my desires and aspirations.
From your post, I personally feel (I may be wrong though) that you are suffering from the dilemma of fidelity. You have a constant desire for something new in your sex-life and at present you are not getting it the way you want it to be. At the same time you are in no mood to cheat on your partner to get that hot and spicy sex and that's making you a little bit frustrated.
Actually the answer lies within you. You know the answer but don't want to accept it. As a fellow human being and especially from the same marginalized section of sexual minority, I would like to suggest a little talk with your partner. I suppose, you both will be able to improvise and spice up your sex life.
Even though I don't have any partner as such, I feel that these things are absolutely normal. Sex is not just about fucking and being fucked. It's way beyond the action. That's why role playing takes a prominent role in sex life. Sex is not just the action. It combines the desire, the lust, the sensuality, the passion and obviously the action of sex. It needs constant caring and nurturing and improvisation. Otherwise sex can become stale and dumb action.
So, make some special super-sexy moments for your own-self and make your sex life hot and spicy like Indian food

 

[Shelter]

Monotony and boredom are parts of human life. It's not the question of summer or winter. It's about our desires.
Just before asking the question - IS THIS PERSON THE ONE; I personally prefer asking myself - Am I the person whom I wish to be?! If the answer is 'YES', then I am a saint. Then I have no desire. But if the answer is 'NO', then that makes me a regular human being with all my desires and aspirations.
From your post, I personally feel (I may be wrong though) that you are suffering from the dilemma of fidelity. You have a constant desire for something new in your sex-life and at present you are not getting it the way you want it to be. At the same time you are in no mood to cheat on your partner to get that hot and spicy sex and that's making you a little bit frustrated.
Actually the answer lies within you. You know the answer but don't want to accept it. As a fellow human being and especially from the same marginalized section of sexual minority, I would like to suggest a little talk with your partner. I suppose, you both will be able to improvise and spice up your sex life.
Even though I don't have any partner as such, I feel that these things are absolutely normal. Sex is not just about fucking and being fucked. It's way beyond the action. That's why role playing takes a prominent role in sex life. Sex is not just the action. It combines the desire, the lust, the sensuality, the passion and obviously the action of sex. It needs constant caring and nurturing and improvisation. Otherwise sex can become stale and dumb action.
So, make some special super-sexy moments for your own-self and make your sex life hot and spicy like Indian food

Wonderful answer to Otage's post. Otage read it one time, read it the second time and a third or a fourth and you will see how many truth is in these words from Chaitanya. Follow them and you will find again your balance.

And to Chaitanya: you really are a great psychologist! Thank you for this post! :thumbs up:

 

[chaitanya]

Wonderful answer to Otage's post. Otage read it one time, read it the second time and a third or a fourth and you will see how many truth is in these words from Chaitanya. Follow them and you will find again your balance.

And to Chaitanya: you really are a great psychologist! Thank you for this post! :thumbs up:

Thanks Shelter:big hug:
But I am no psychologist. My subject of study starts with the letter 'P' but it isn't psychology. I pursue Philosophy.
One thing I can tell you for sure that we all are psychologists and philosophers in our own personal ways. When we have constant interaction with many people around us, we all get somewhat idea of human psyche. Don't we?!
:heart::heart::heart:

 

[topdog]

Normal. Totally. As a matter of fact the only reason you have gone this long without noticing all the sexy guys out there is temporary love blindness. So, that is wearing off and you are coming back to your senses.

That doesn't mean there aren't things to work out here.

You aren't getting what you want sexually? Again, that happens all the time and even when fixed, the issue will pop up again in any long-term relationship. That's what a long-term relationship is - maintaining a bond while both people evolve and get knocked around by life.

Relationships aren't primarily what you feel (although that is there), but what you do. Good relationships are the reward for finding a way to talk about the ugly bad stuff you are feeling without cutting down your partner.

In that light, the sex issue is a gift; an opportunity. Now you have a touchy issue to work out together. How you handle this can set a pattern for how you work through even tougher problems in the future. So, it's like working out: You are tapping in to new muscles and exercising them a little at a time so they will be ready when you need them later.

You know yourself and are the expert on that topic, so I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you what to do. But I will give you a few tips on talking about difficult topics like sex with your partner.

• When you talk, concentrate on communicating what you feel. No one can argue with what you are feeling.
• The flip side of that is what not to do: don't attack or blame your partner. Don't list what he is doing wrong; don't accuse or blame his actions. Placing blame closes doors; people get defensive and stop listening, or worse start attacking you back. Owning what you feel opens dialog.
• When you make yourself vulnerable, it triggers the nurturing instinct in your partner. Walls come down and it creates a safe space for your partner to be vulnerable himself. It's the opposite of what we want to do when we are hurt or threatened, which is to pull back and get defensive - or maybe even throw a few verbal grenades at the other party.

This doesn't guarantee a relationship will succeed, but I can guarantee that if you ignore issues, or try the attack/blame strategy the affair is doomed.

And if you find out that you are heading in different directions, then the skills you developed here will serve you with the lover you stay with for years in the future.

 

[Shelter]

Normal. Totally. As a matter of fact the only reason you have gone this long without noticing all the sexy guys out there is temporary love blindness. So, that is wearing off and you are coming back to your senses.

That doesn't mean there aren't things to work out here.

You aren't getting what you want sexually? Again, that happens all the time and even when fixed, the issue will pop up again in any long-term relationship. That's what a long-term relationship is - maintaining a bond while both people evolve and get knocked around by life.

Relationships aren't primarily what you feel (although that is there), but what you do. Good relationships are the reward for finding a way to talk about the ugly bad stuff you are feeling without cutting down your partner.

In that light, the sex issue is a gift; an opportunity. Now you have a touchy issue to work out together. How you handle this can set a pattern for how you work through even tougher problems in the future. So, it's like working out: You are tapping in to new muscles and exercising them a little at a time so they will be ready when you need them later.

You know yourself and are the expert on that topic, so I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you what to do. But I will give you a few tips on talking about difficult topics like sex with your partner.

• When you talk, concentrate on communicating what you feel. No one can argue with what you are feeling.
• The flip side of that is what not to do: don't attack or blame your partner. Don't list what he is doing wrong; don't accuse or blame his actions. Placing blame closes doors; people get defensive and stop listening, or worse start attacking you back. Owning what you feel opens dialog.
• When you make yourself vulnerable, it triggers the nurturing instinct in your partner. Walls come down and it creates a safe space for your partner to be vulnerable himself. It's the opposite of what we want to do when we are hurt or threatened, which is to pull back and get defensive - or maybe even throw a few verbal grenades at the other party.

This doesn't guarantee a relationship will succeed, but I can guarantee that if you ignore issues, or try the attack/blame strategy the affair is doomed.

And if you find out that you are heading in different directions, then the skills you developed here will serve you with the lover you stay with for years in the future.

Damn! Topdog to read your posts always is an enrichment I think for everyone here on GH. Sometimes you are remembering me to a teacher from my Highschool. He too was (and is until now!) a splendid man (like you!). If you have had heartache or some sorrows you could go to him and he always found the right words for you. And it wasn't only words - no, but helpful words for the most of us in that time! We adored him and we do it until now - so as I adore you for your helpful words here and on other threads.

 

[Rebel7]

Add some other flavor besides vanilla
At this stage speaking your feelings to your pardner is most crucial. You never know if he has something to say about your intimate life too, eh? Besides being lovers you two are like best friend too i suppose?
You see, people become pacified in relationship...start thinking seriously (e.g about the future ). Naturally, a sense of responsibility towards each other kicks in and which may stifle things in the long run if either or both feel constraint in some way. Understand that each relationship is as unique as the individuals involved. So i'd say open up to your pardner, there might be hidden desires awaiting some sexplorations.