Taking ages to cum in sex

[Turtle2345]

Hi

Just wondering if anyone has any ideas on how I can make myself faster in sex because it always seems to take me a lot longer than my BF no matter what activity we do anal, oral even him tossing me off it still takes me ages to .

Last time I topped him and after going for 45 minutes + I still only managed to by wanking myself off.

 

[anarren]

I've had this too. Some things that helped me:

- Relax! This can be a challenge, but really being 'present' is key.
- Minimize distractions (pets, noise from TV, even the wrong music), first - setting the mood does help.
- Try jacking off less ... make it so you're really eager when you have sex.
- Are you drinking a lot or doing any drugs (including poppers)? Those can slow you down.
-Also, if you're on any medications, especially ones for anxiety or depression, like prozac, zoloft, busbar, and celexa, those can make it hard to . Talk to your doctor if that's the case.

Hope it helps - but also remember, there are guys who'd kill to last so long! ;-)

 

[regnomraw]

On the bright side though, topping for 45 minutes is amazing!

 

[Turtle2345]

Well I'm not on any medications and I don't and never have and never will drink a lot or do drugs. Also when we have sex generally there aren't any distractions it's just me and him.

So that only leaves relax and wank less.

Any advice on how to relax more?

Also yes I know lasting that long is good but it's a bit embarrassing and annoying when you last that long and still don't .

 

[Dendood]

Hi T, I know what you're dealing with. For many years it took me a long time to . My very first time having sex, it was taking me song long the guy said to me, "are you SURE you are gay?" That was rough.

Alone, my long fuse was a LOT of fun. I could edge forever and a day...And while some guys may like a long fuck, most guys seem to have a limited attention span. If they can't get you off in that window they tend to lose interest. My way around it was to make it all about them and helping them get off a nut.

I did have one buddy who for some unknown reason had no trouble what so ever making me . He had a touch like no one else and could make me in a minute. Everyone else, almost not at all.

I am 'better'. Most of it comes with learning to relax. How? Stop thinking about ming. Certainly don't think about how long it takes you to . That will only make you anxious and guarantee a really long fuse. -And yes, it won't be easy at first to stop. You may think you've stopped, but right now this is a big issue for you... so unconsciously you're certain to worry about it even when you think to yourself 'stop.'

The key is to focus on your pleasure and just enjoy how you're feeling. That and only that. It helps if you have a good imagination and an understanding of your triggers. If there's something you like having done to you, or a mental image that is particularly hot to you, think about that trigger during sex. It will help push you over the edge.

Every now and then I have to rotate my mental triggers to keep them fresh. My triggers?
I think about porn star Jason Branch spying on his boyfriend having sex... Or that I'm spying on me and my husband having sex... my straight friend making some girl orgasm again and again to the point her body is painfully racked with muscle spasms. (I confess in those daydreams I am secretly the woman involved.)... Or I daydream about my gay photographer friend doing a photo shoot of some jock and it leads to sex. (A true scenario. His ending amateur photo shoot with the soon to be porn star Seth Sweet is what led him into the business.)...

Anyway, what ever sexual trigger that gets your blood flowing is where you want to keep your mind. Eventually you'll find the time it takes to growing shorter.

On the flip side my husband has a short fuse and wishes to heck he could last longer.

 

[drakepeter]

Agree with all the advice given. I fund that being impatient to get off only makes it worse. Stay in the moment and enjoy it.

 

[lhardwick69]

dated a guy with this problem if you call it a problem because the more he fucked me the happier i was--what helped him was a anal plug--not too thick just enough to rub the prostate the first time he did it with it in his ass he came like 15 minutes-- but now they have them with straps so wrap around thighs hips as we were afraid it would get sucked in as he fucked me

but then we realized one night without it in hs ass that part of problem was he wasnt doing it in a way that felt good to him turned out if he could fuck me in a agressive rough manner he came in like 5 minutes

 

[dargelos]

When you were living at home were you afraid of being caught wanking? Who wasn't?
So like me you probably learnt how to stroke real quick to avoid being asked 'why do you spend so long in the bathroom?'
Then once you get a bit of privacy you can relax, take it at a gentle speed and enjoy it more. But old habits die hard. It is not possible to fuck at very high speed for long, it gets too exhausting, so its easier to finish off by hand. What I am suggesting is not giving up wanking, quite the opposite, I think you should practice stroking slowly, never going any faster than a normal easy fucking speed, trying to get into the habit of ming at that speed without cheating by using a burst of super speed.
And if it dosen't work it's at least a nice way to pass some time.

 

[Wohltorf]

Makes me wonder about all the guys who like "edging." I've never been able to last long enough to know what the big deal is.

 

[Turtle2345]

Does anybody have any more suggestions for this?

Last time I was having sex with my BF I kept going soft every time I was trying to enter him. In the end we gave up.

My BF has suggested getting a butt plug for me to use when I'm going to fuck him so we are going to try that next time but does anybody have any more suggestions?

 

[topdog]

Well, the little blue pill works wonders.

Also, I'm confused - who is the proud recipient of the butt plug? You or the boyfriend?

Finally, find additional fun sex things to do so fucking is just one of many choices. It takes the pressure off.