The guy I was pining for is straight!!!

[rant17]

You probably read about me trying to pluck my courage and ask out the cute coffee guy out who always makes me special hot drinks, and I've said everything to put myself of such as "he's probably straight, I'n too tall for him, he's not in my league bla blah blah" and when u asked him out, he agreed but guess what? Not only is he straight, he's getting married!

We're still going to go out, I'll just buy him a drink as a friend. I'm not too disappointed, is it because I loved falling in love? Or the attention? I'm so confused!!

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

You probably read about me trying to pluck my courage and ask out the cute coffee guy out who always makes me special hot drinks, and I've said everything to put myself of such as "he's probably straight, I'n too tall for him, he's not in my league bla blah blah" and when u asked him out, he agreed but guess what? Not only is he straight, he's getting married!

We're still going to go out, I'll just buy him a drink as a friend. I'm not too disappointed, is it because I loved falling in love? Or the attention? I'm so confused!!

Did he gave you any hints of him being interested? Marriage isn't the solution to condemn bisexual or gay feelings... I am a bisexual, but if you'd see me in a bar, you'd believe I'm straight, and I could even come with I'm getting married as a get away card. Marriage doesn't end the fact that a dude marrying his wife wouldn't go for gay sex.I'm a former gay porn performer, but when out of the scene, you'd see me spend some time with my wife and kids, and yet I'm very knowledgeable in terms of fucking and getting fucked by guys, but you'd never know until I tell you. However I embraced my gay side and decided to marry my dude (I'm Canadian lol I can). marriage doesn't define your feelings, just remember that. If he gave you any hints, there is something... so find out

 

[rant17]

He did, full on. To be fair, i don't have time to play games...'nice' is all it was, nothing else

 

[Urban]

It seems to me that you just have a crush on him. Go out with him, enjoy the drink, have fun. Just be careful that the crush doesn't turn into an obsession. As for acting on any comeons you might get from him, that's you're decision. My own opinion is that it rarely ends well, for anybody.

Over the years I've had friendships with any number of straight guys who I thought were very hot; sometimes that's how the friendships got started, by me wanting to get closer & drool over them. I kinda have a thing for straight guys.

And some of those guys have become very close friends, but in a totally nonsexual way. It's just really, really important to always remember where the line is drawn, if you're interested in keeping the friendship. And I don't mean only his line; any relationship, including a friendship, works both ways. You can draw a line of your own. In fact, I think you already have.

 

[Jupiter Street]

Wish it ended differently, at an ending that you would have wanted.

Still, the cosmic gods might just give you what you yearn for, although not with Starbucks guy!

 

[garth33]

It seems to me that you just have a crush on him. Go out with him, enjoy the drink, have fun. Just be careful that the crush doesn't turn into an obsession. As for acting on any comeons you might get from him, that's you're decision. My own opinion is that it rarely ends well, for anybody.

Over the years I've had friendships with any number of straight guys who I thought were very hot; sometimes that's how the friendships got started, by me wanting to get closer & drool over them. I kinda have a thing for straight guys.

And some of those guys have become very close friends, but in a totally nonsexual way. It's just really, really important to always remember where the line is drawn, if you're interested in keeping the friendship. And I don't mean only his line; any relationship, including a friendship, works both ways. You can draw a line of your own. In fact, I think you already have.

Great advice Urban - spot on! Don't obsess but don't pass up the opportunity to have a friend either - it's all good and who knows where it will go in the future.

g

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

He did, full on. To be fair, i don't have time to play games...'nice' is all it was, nothing else

That's to me the perfect answer... Don't enter the crazy game, it would hurt you so bad, he'd still be married and happy and you'd become depressed and obsessive (as pointed by Urban) if you were to pursue this idyllic relation. Don't become his toy, but sure become his friend

 

[rant17]

Yes we're friends, I think. Always offering me freebies I insist on paying. Yeah Id rather not go that route, just value myself that much more. Thank you guys, your advice truly is golden. I'm doing great, thanks!

 

[brmstn69]

You know the difference between a straight man and a gay man?

6 beers...:devil:

 

[Squallmuzza]

I think the thing that really hasn't been said yet in this thread is: CONGRATULATIONS! Well done for plucking up the courage to ask him. That took major balls to do and I'm proud of you for doing it!

Kinda shitty that he's of a different persuasion, but you can't have it your own way all the time. There'll be others for sure. At least you've seemingly made a pretty cool friend this way and have someone else to hang out with. As said above, do try to guard your heart to ensure you don't get sucked in. It's more easily done than you think (and that comes from personal experience).

Don't let this stop you from doing it again and again though dude! That is the first shaky and difficult step towards asking out your perfect guy and getting that first date. I'm sure you can keep doing it! Don't view this as anything other than a success story

 

[VinceSF]

At least you gain a friend who can give you freebies at a café! jk!

 

[scrobin]

Totally sucks when this happens, especially when they lead you on .

 

[rant17]

At least you gain a friend who can give you freebies at a café! jk!

No jokes I always get freebies to the point I'm left wondering why. My friends ask me why I get free things and they don't I return with a tongue in cheek reply of; "cuz off all of this" (implying good looks) but truthfully I have no idea...

 

[rant17]

I think the thing that really hasn't been said yet in this thread is: CONGRATULATIONS! Well done for plucking up the courage to ask him. That took major balls to do and I'm proud of you for doing it!

Kinda shitty that he's of a different persuasion, but you can't have it your own way all the time. There'll be others for sure. At least you've seemingly made a pretty cool friend this way and have someone else to hang out with. As said above, do try to guard your heart to ensure you don't get sucked in. It's more easily done than you think (and that comes from personal experience).

Don't let this stop you from doing it again and again though dude! That is the first shaky and difficult step towards asking out your perfect guy and getting that first date. I'm sure you can keep doing it! Don't view this as anything other than a success story

Haha thank you Squall! Never viewed it as a victory, plucking the courage and asking was the easy part, figuring out his sexuality is the harder part, I really think he's gay but I'm past caring, you can never have too many friends and if something were to change maybe then I'll rethink things through,

It maybe my culture but we Eritreans are taught to love ourselves first and foremost and always keep one at arms lengths until the time comes when warn feelings are reciprocated, till then value your pride which is why I could never act out of character. Thank you so much guys