this was my day, today...

[Thor]

I woke up and watched the finals of the womens championship match, Serena won, I'm not sure how i would do playing my sister in a match like that...lol

then i went about my daily things: took a shit, shower, i didn't shave, its the weekend

looked online a bit..then went to store for food and stuff for weekend

then.........I got a call....

a friend of mine, his mom was raped and killed last night...

Im just not sure what to do, so i thought id tell you....sorry

 

[Thor]

thanks seph...lol

 

[Thor]

My mom was the one that called me to tell, she wanted me to call him, but i just couldent......I dont know what to say to him

I think ill call next week..

 

[hammervice]

yeah wow i would not know what to say

 

[Thor]

I posted vids, does that make me bad?

 

[intensepump]

....call or stop by...
say your sorry it happened...
tell them you share in their sorrow
let them know you care about them and
ask if there is anything you can do for them...and be prepared to

a few months ago, my best friend's girlfriend committed suicide. It was really rough...he didn't want to talk about it...at all. I just let him know the above...and hung out with him lots.

 

[Thor]

thanks pump still not sure what to do..ill think about it and hope i can call him its hard for me to do that...im just not good at it

 

[XMan101]

Thor, nobody is ever good at this sort of thing. Just imagine if it was the other way round. You'd want a friend to be there even if you don't speak, he may not want to, just an arm round the shoulder, just the knowledge he has someone there to lean on.

Death , even natural death, turns so many people away at a time when they need you. I've seen this happen, a lady I know just couldn't bring herself to talk to a friend after his daughter had died.

Nobody is ever an expert in how to respond to these situations. I don't know whether it's fear or a kind of embarrassed awkwardness, but you need to just be there and let him know you're there.

Go round, don't talk, just go in and hug him. He'll know you're there and that's what is important. Don't be put off if he clams up on you or dismisses you at first, it's a natural reaction. BUT he will know he's cared for, and he will come to you.

Go help him, Thor, he needs you

 

[brmstn69]

My ex-bf's mother died of a heart attack thurs. She was a drunk and for a long time he resented her for it and many other issues between them. Mine was the first number he called, not to talk to me, but to my mother, to thank her. You see awhile back my mother had a long talk with him about forgiveness and acceptance. Because of that he was able to restore his relationship with his mom a few months before she died. she even managed to get sober during that time and now he at least has some good memories to keep with him and he can go on without regret. I still haven't spoken with him. Don't know what to say really. I imagine he has had his fill of people trying to make him feel better. So I'm giving him some time before I talk to him...

 

[Thor]

thanks guys and I would love to hug him, but hes in NY and im not

 

[slimjim]

You should call him Thor, and soon,.... just to say...........to say that you don't know what to say but that you're thinking of him and his family and will be there for him when he's ready to talk or whatever. As Xman put it...if it was the other way round you would be helped by knowing you have that support when you want it. I ain't saying it's easy or straightforward .. 'cos I've been there ...but you really have to make that call bro.