To all my friends I thank you.

[josh_the_hot_boy]

First of all I want to say that I'm not writing this to receive sympathy. I am merely seeing information. I want to know when I should be concerned enough to seek medical action and when I should assume that things will change on there own. There are times when I feel certain ways and I accept the fact and assume that theirs nothing I can do to correct this. I feel things that make it hard for me to break a continuing cycle. I have lived for a long time feeling this way just living with it. If there's one thing I fear its me. I want to get better but I don't know if I am capable of waiting for that to happen. I am not crying I'm not sad I have landed some where in an empty space between sadness and at peace with the way things are and will be. My counselor tells me he thinks I like feeling sad that it gives me a reason to complain whether that's true or not I don't know. I am starting to feel more and more at peace with what is becoming the end of the book. A book that has been written for me. I don't cry very much anymore I find it doesn't change anything. I've just accepted it and moved on turning each page waiting till the end till the last sentence, the last word, the blank page that I know is inevitable.

 

[smallsleepyrascalcat]

Pardon me, but I have some problems with understanding the term "becoming the end of the book". Could you please explain what you mean with this? I start to worry about you and I would like to know if I should...

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

I feel like the end of the book is being written for me. The book is more a metaphor for my life and I have just come to accept the way its going to end.

 

[smallsleepyrascalcat]

I feel like the end of the book is being written for me. The book is more a metaphor for my life and I have just come to accept the way its going to end.

That's what worries me. It sounds as if this end is near... this really worries me.