Dear Shelter, dear friend aus Berlin, since I've carried both my parents to their graves (my mum in early January 2009, my dad in September 2011) I think I can say I know a bit about what you're going through.
But yet again, there's also very important differences: While your mum was relatively young and passed away because of cancer, both my parents died well into their 80s, both severely demented the last few years of their lives. To be frank I think it's fair to say that they just died because of old age and that death in the end came as a liberator.
Some of my dad's close neighbours in the village told me something he didn't say directly to my face: He told them - again and again - that after his wife (my mother) had died, everything was so boring and pointless, boring and pointless, boring and pointless.
To me it's quite obvious that you can't say that about your mother's death - that's the big difference. So while death is always the same, it's also always so different.
I'm thinking about you a lot, and I know I'm not the only one on GH to do so.
