Why men cheat?

[jw4833]

Hey Guys:

I was organizing some things in my bedroom and I had the TV going for background noise where there was a talk show on and the topic of discussion was "Why Men Cheat". The panel consist of three women who were involved in affairs with married men and one in particular was the woman that Anthony Wiener posted his naked pictures to. What I found interesting is that the talk show host had went into the audience where she had various women respond to the women on the panel and I was amazed at how the women were throwing angry attacks at the women on the panel where they put the blame on them for breaking up marriages. They labeled these women names as "disgusting and horrible human beings".

What was surprising to me is that no one blamed the men for seeking out these women for affairs behind their wives' back. One of the ladies on the panel brought this up and the women in the audience attacked her instead of seeing things from that perspective. This woman could not understand why women who discovered that their husbands are having affairs did not leave them. The talk show host went on to say that these women do not leave their spouses due to financial and family reasons.

I found these responses to be odd because I believe that women can not put fault on the women because if a man does not get involved with one particular woman, he will find another and so on. Otherwise, one woman is not the fault of a man screwing around on his spouse and therefore, I feel that all the blame should go towards the husband and their wives look like idiots confronting the other woman instead of kicking their men to the curb.

Within the gay community, I have seen guys go after the "homewrecker" instead of putting forth their anger at their significant other. Watching this program compelled me to post this topic up for discussion to see what is your perspective or opinions towards this. Thanks as always for responding to my post....Peace, JW :thumbs up:

 

[topdog]

Well, the first indication that there was going to be a "perspective" problem with this discussion was the fact that the topic was "Why men cheat?" and there were no men on the panel. That makes as much sense as when the US Congress convened a panel on Women's Health Issues and didn't invite any women.

If you are going to have an informed discussion you either have to ask the question to men, or to experts that have studied the issue have some actual hard data to contribute.

Clearly this show was only meant to get an emotional responses from the audience and viewers.

 

[clh_hilary]

It depends on the situation, but most of it is desire.

 

[tuneart]

I think in a primitive/ natural state... male goals are to procreate... therefore Male tend to have tendencies to want to have sex with more than just one partner....

 

[hugmebear]

The women on the panel were attacked and absorbed all blame because the men weren't there. Mistresses tend to be solely blamed because men are less likely to stay if you give them shit, if the wives want to reconcile for fear of being alone, family or financial reasons.

Under cirstances where men have long term mistresses rather than one night stands, they blame and chase off the immediate threat, thinking shortsightedly that the man won't cheat again.

I think in a primitive/ natural state... male goals are to procreate... therefore Male tend to have tendencies to want to have sex with more than just one partner....

That doesn't address why gay men cheat with other men.

 

[tonka]

One major reason is the social pressure of monogamy. After a long time together, the same old same is just that, even with a wonderful partner.

I think it's a great development that gay male couples are finding ways to rewrite the rules. And the internet and social media are putting these alternatives out there for everyone to ponder. Some of these alternatives are a lot more honest, and a lot more fun.

 

[c750dt]

It's wrong to cheat but never the less, sometimes, a person just doesn't like the sex they're getting. It's just the same as the husband of a wife who can't cook eating at McDonalds each night.

 

[josh_the_hot_boy]

So okay hear me out. Don't judge till you read it. I think when a person locks it in with the first person they start dating. I think that they never get to "play the field" and so they start to get curious as to what else is out there. I think one has to date multiple people to get an idea of what their truly into so that way they can say I've been there I've done that. I've sampled the field and I know what's out there and this is what I want. For some people though one person just isn't enough and for others things get boring or the relationship gets "complicated". Communication is the most important thing. Sometimes their just not interested in being in a relationship anymore and want to be single again but other times it's not you it's just the two people are not talking to each other. So one person doesn't know that the other person want's more spice or is uncomfortable with something in the bedroom. Before you assume it's you talk with your partner see what's wrong. then decide if the issue is fixable.

I think non communication is the biggest reason for cheating in a relationship but remember you have to be open to there ideas and they have to be open to yours.

 

[orixa]

I've never cheated on a partner, but I've been cheated on. Why do they do it? Because they think they can, I guess.

 

[expressboy]

They cheat because they have always been bigger whores than women.

It is not that every guy cheats or will cheat, but usually there are players who wants to find "true love", but also want to fuck everybody all the time.


If a wife doesn't have sex with her husband, he will cheat her. If a wife has an active sex life with her husband, he will cheat her, because he will get bored and will want new things and new people for sex.

 

[expressboy]

I have never understood why promiscuous guys want to find true love, want to get married. They all, after the weddings, after the wives become pregnant, are looking for someone for sex.

Everybody who wants just fuck should say that and not to pretend to be interested in someone.

 

[jtk456]

"They fear death!" Olympia Dukakis in "Moonstruck"

Kind of interesting that the word "cheating" often initially connotes the primal, physical propensity that animals have to propagate, perpetuate, mark and influence all the nature they can whittled down to a tiny fraction by the overlay of social/cultural/religious practices & convention. One can do all from thinking about through undisclosed acts of every kind with everyone and see themselves as or to be considered by others as a cheater ... or not!

It's subjective. It's cirstantial. Yet though totally cheating is a all about a breech and taboo so for the ensuing pursuits & actions not being discovered or disclosed, it's also dependent on neither. Is a person looking to be discovered to hurt or cuckold a partner a cheater or a masochist or a fetish facilitator? Pretty much really have to ask THEM, and hope they come to and continue, in agreement.

I think so many women want men because the men are a thrill and about thrill chasing ... which keeps the woman inclined to want to BE that thrill! Men love it, taking the bait that all his attention will get him all of her, all the time.

But with focus expected on her and, of course, thrill chasing not allowed, there's no reason for her to keep up her "keeping it up" or for her to stay interested. Discouraged , he becomes a "non-thriller" and usually the way women seem to increasingly limit sex, arguing or NOT wanting to talk about it.

So men, already "communicationally challenged" and frustrated anyway don't.

So my question is, though I appreciate they'd not anticipated or addressed potential relationship changes before committing & what might be keeping them together or from splitting, if a guy has no choice but to do so and is practically forced, driven to or licensed to pursue it elsewhere, is it still cheating?

Surprised at their surprise as I've increasingly heard this scenario year after year & especially from middle aged men older, I'm thinking we're going to need some new words. ;-)

 

[jw4833]

"They fear death!" Olympia Dukakis in "Moonstruck"

Kind of interesting that the word "cheating" often initially connotes the primal, physical propensity that animals have to propagate, perpetuate, mark and influence all the nature they can whittled down to a tiny fraction by the overlay of social/cultural/religious practices & convention. One can do all from thinking about through undisclosed acts of every kind with everyone and see themselves as or to be considered by others as a cheater ... or not!

It's subjective. It's cirstantial. Yet though totally cheating is a all about a breech and taboo so for the ensuing pursuits & actions not being discovered or disclosed, it's also dependent on neither. Is a person looking to be discovered to hurt or cuckold a partner a cheater or a masochist or a fetish facilitator? Pretty much really have to ask THEM, and hope they come to and continue, in agreement.

I think so many women want men because the men are a thrill and about thrill chasing ... which keeps the woman inclined to want to BE that thrill! Men love it, taking the bait that all his attention will get him all of her, all the time.

But with focus expected on her and, of course, thrill chasing not allowed, there's no reason for her to keep up her "keeping it up" or for her to stay interested. Discouraged , he becomes a "non-thriller" and usually the way women seem to increasingly limit sex, arguing or NOT wanting to talk about it.

So men, already "communicationally challenged" and frustrated anyway don't.

So my question is, though I appreciate they'd not anticipated or addressed potential relationship changes before committing & what might be keeping them together or from splitting, if a guy has no choice but to do so and is practically forced, driven to or licensed to pursue it elsewhere, is it still cheating?

Surprised at their surprise as I've increasingly heard this scenario year after year & especially from middle aged men older, I'm thinking we're going to need some new words. ;-)

Hi jtk456:

First of all, thank you so much for responding to my topic of discussion. I have to say that personally speaking, I do believe that what I constitute as cheating is a breach of trust and unfaithfulness outside of the present relationship between the two individuals involved. For example, I had a guy who was pursuing me several months ago and he was in a relationship with another guy but was telling me that he was very unhappy with the cirstances within their relationship and also he revealed to me that there was a loss of sexual intimacy between them as well on his partner's part.

Needless to say, "red flags" went up immediately from finding out this information due to the fact that I did not understand why he was still in the relationship and I also couldn't help but wonder if he was having affairs with other guys outside of this relationship in order to have his sexual needs fulfilled. Of course when I presented this to him, he responded that he masturbates frequently on a daily basis to fulfill his sexual needs and he has not wandered outside of the relationship for any physical contact with another person which in my personal opinion, I found this hard to believe and came to the conclusion that he was lying to me with that response.

Although after awhile, the majority of our conversations consisted of him telling me about his sexual fantasies and dreams that he has about me and how he would love to pursue a relationship with me, he did not consider this type of conversation as "cheating". From a personal perspective, I believe that no matter what the cirstances of your relationship, if you decide to stay in a bad or an unhappy relationship and began to seek some kind of solace with others outside of that relationship whether it be x-rated chatting or physical contact with another...this type of behavior is still considered cheating. Other words, if someone makes me that unhappy, I would end that relationship without giving a second thought and if I decide to stay with this person who is making me unhappy then apparently, there is something more going on that is making me stay with them despite the fact of being unhappy.