About blowjob

[thuck32]

So, ive been straight so far but ive realised i like hard cocks too in rare situations ( drunken ). This comes from women perspective. They can do that they want. So i can too.
I think there is nothing wrong with it to do a blowjob if only 10-20% percent of the women do it right.
For myself i like to be sucked sensitive with alot of split, with a tonque that makes me crazy.
But what is a good blowjob for most of the guys?

 

[dragonscub]

Its all about the teeth, really: everything else is secondary.

Yes, gay men in general tend to be more spoiled and picky about what constitutes a "great" BJ than most str8 men. A good BJ is pretty much expected to happen among gays, while women still tend to view it as a special treat they may or may not choose to offer, so str8 men are a bit less picky and only too happy to simply feel a mouth on their cock.

The gay or bi men who take you up on your "drunk" offer will be more accustomed to receiving skilled bjs. A "skilled" blower knows how to apply suction, tongue and lips in various ways without ever scraping a cock with their teeth. This is more difficult than many people think: the best bj artists are blessed with a certain type of mouth and a born instinct of how to use it. One can learn to be a decent blower, but I don't think you can learn to be "great" unless you have some inborn advantages. Life isn't fair, in this or other arenas.

One thing I can tell you for sure, nobody wants an inept drunk to get his teeth anywhere near their cock. If you seriously only get hot for men when you're blind drunk, be damned sure you aren't so far gone that you can't at least keep your teeth from scraping your partners cock, or the tryst could end very badly. I've seen this "I only want guys when I'm drunk" BS play out any number of times, and the "straights" who participate fall into just two groups.

Group One has just a passing interest in sex with men: the drinking lowers their inhibitions just enough to enjoy it without thinking twice. These guys aren't particularly invested in having a man-man experience: if an opportunity arises, they go for it, but they don't have any hangups about it.

Group Two has deeply rooted issues with their desires. They wanna drop to their knees and choke on cock every second of their lives, its all they can think about, but they're wracked with guilt and shame over it. The more self-hatred they feel, the more they want it: the shame makes it more forbidden which makes it more attractive. This type needs to get drunk almost to the point of unconscious before acting on their desire, but once they do, they are often AMAZINGLY good at giving blowjobs (and/or giving up their ass). Its unfortunate how they torture themselves over it unnecessarily.

You kind of give off a Group One vibe: more or less a frat boy who wants to walk on the wild side occasionally. Nothing wrong with that, you just need to find partners that are as casual as yourself, and who aren't expecting a miracle blowjob from you (you both get off more on the idea of what you're doing than the act itself). In such cases, all you need to worry about is keeping your lips over your teeth, and let the rest naturally.

Good luck! :cheers:

 

[thuck32]

Great post. I guess i have to visit a gloryhole or porn cinema to find those blessed blowers ^^.

 

[dragonscub]

Oh, that should do it, all right.

Sorry if I misunderstood: I thought you were asking about giving BJs, not receiving. If you're more interested in being serviced, then you have zero to worry about. Guys who are into giving blowjobs are REALLY into it, and they will very quickly figure out your specific preferences (or you could just tell them).

The theaters and glory holes are certainly a good starting point: I personally know several guys who regularly visit such places just to service the straight married men who frequent them.

You might also consider Craigs List ads. There are always ads from guys (like a friend of mine) offering free "massages" with happy endings that involve quite a spectacular blowjob. You can visit them, or they'll come to you (even bringing a proper massage table with them if you like).

And of course there's always the option of putting the Grndr app on your phone: this is the number one method straight guys use to source blowjobs from other men. The disadvantage is the app might be discovered on your phone by a nosy female partner (although there are ways to conceal it). Also, you can't really be shit-faced drunk and use it properly: Grindr's biggest advantage is the ability to screen potential hookups for the type of guy you want.

Some Grindr guys "specialize" in servicing straight men, with quite a few identifying as straight themselves. If you're into the whole "straight on straight" taboo, that would be the way to go. Alternatively, many straight guys enjoy being serviced by purely gay men, feeling the dynamic just works better for them (as well as the sex).

Unless you live in the middle of nowhere, you should have no trouble finding a BJ from a compatible male hookup whenever the mood strikes.

 

[Stonecold]

In American culture, A lot of people don't count oral sex as "real" sex. I imagine it will be moved to Sex talk if someone doesn't want it in general discussion.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I personally wouldn't let anyone who seemed at all intoxicated or under the influence of any drug put their mouth anywhere near my dick. I want to keep my dick thank you. And I wouldn't have much interest in sucking them either; I am not into backhanded compliments like "I don't normally do this sort of thing, only when I'm drunk."

Sorry if I sound negative, but I have even heard straight men admit this - that they think of gay men as a kind of facility, always willing to suck their dick when they are horny and don't have a woman to hand. I even had one guy tell me with a straight face (pun intended), rather after an intense sex session, that he "did not have a gay bone in his body", as though that was a point of pride for him. I honestly did not know what to say in responses to that, and I think I ended up saying nothing.

 

[thuck32]

I personally wouldn't let anyone who seemed at all intoxicated or under the influence of any drug put their mouth anywhere near my dick. I want to keep my dick thank you. And I wouldn't have much interest in sucking them either; I am not into backhanded compliments like "I don't normally do this sort of thing, only when I'm drunk."

Sorry if I sound negative, but I have even heard straight men admit this - that they think of gay men as a kind of facility, always willing to suck their dick when they are horny and don't have a woman to hand. I even had one guy tell me with a straight face (pun intended), rather after an intense sex session, that he "did not have a gay bone in his body", as though that was a point of pride for him. I honestly did not know what to say in responses to that, and I think I ended up saying nothing.

Its all good. I like answers who sounds "negative". There is more truth in it.
Its not true that he has "not a gay bone". Science u know. I mean, he thinks that he is not gay. Thats ok but the whole body of a men is very close to female body. Nipples for example. We dont need it. The major difference is 60% more muscles, brain structure and genitals.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Its all good. I like answers who sounds "negative". There is more truth in it.
Its not true that he has "not a gay bone". Science u know. I mean, he thinks that he is not gay. Thats ok but the whole body of a men is very close to female body. Nipples for example. We dont need it. The major difference is 60% more muscles, brain structure and genitals.

Yes that's true, and it would not have worried me so much if he had said something like "I am mainly into women." It was the way he rejected any suggestion of him being gay, as if to say "Perish the thought", that bothered me. Before saying something like that, he should consider how it sounds to the other man, if the other man happens to be gay.

--------------------------------------

I visited a cruise venue this evening. To be specific, it was one of those adult shops that has a video booth area at the back. There are glory holes between the booths and the management are perfectly OK with using them for sex as long as you put the occasional $2 coin in the slot. Anyway, the place was dead when I arrivaed, and I waited some time, was about to leave when a guy walked in. Not particularly attractive, not ugly either, sort of in between. Anyway I went in one of the booths; he went in the one next door; and I was reminded once again how some guys know what to do with a dick when it's put through the hole for them, and some guys don't, and there is very little correlation with how the guy looks. This fellow was brilliant.

 

[lhardwick69]

i like sucking dick with alot of spit--more i suck on it the wetter and slicker it gets--slides down the throat alot easier when deepthroating it---ialso love sucking on the guys balls so lick them and run my tongue from them to tip of the head pressing hard so his pre starts coming out the tip of his dick then run my tongue all over it....

i also love rimming but talking about blowjobs here

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I think we would get along well, lhardwick.

 

[thuck32]

Yes that's true, and it would not have worried me so much if he had said something like "I am mainly into women." It was the way he rejected any suggestion of him being gay, as if to say "Perish the thought", that bothered me. Before saying something like that, he should consider how it sounds to the other man, if the other man happens to be gay.

Its all about freedom. Do what you want to do, right now. Personally, i realized i like women ALOT. I was just looking for options bc in my environment there is 30%+ men than women ( near Berlin ) but i realized i have to go the hard way. Still got alot of attention from women and i can choose. I just wanted to know "who the fuck am i".

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I just wanted to know "who the fuck am i".

I think that's for you to decide. That is, if you think it's important to give yourself a label at all.

 

[kwhotboi]

I like to deep throat and swallow. Drives a guy nuts as my throat muscles squeeze his hard cock.

 

[topdog]

I like to deep throat and swallow. Drives a guy nuts as my throat muscles squeeze his hard cock.

Hello!

Re: "Just want to know who I am"

Sexuality has a lot of moving parts. I mean, a mouth around your cock feels good regardless of the gender of your partner. "Lie back and think of England", as the saying goes. There are physical sensations that are just great.

Then there's the emotional part - falling in love, bonding, becoming part of someone's life. That's much more specific and less under your control. For most (but not all) people that is exclusive to one gender or the other.

Then there is the whole psychological aspect. Some men would never fall in love with another man, but do get off on domination or being dominated, for example. The exchange of power is located in the same part of our brain as the drive for sexual pleasure. Those things can sometimes cross over.

Finally there is identity - how we think of ourselves and what group we belong to. That is totally up to us and very influenced by culture. A man in India may be married and still fuck around with men and see himself as totally straight. A man in San Francisco with the same experience may see himself as bisexual. A young man with similar experience in Amsterdam may tell you that he is sexually fluid. An older man in Dallas may decide he is really gay and need to leave his marriage to explore that other side of his sexuality.

Yeah, these are labels - but they are based on both the underlying currents of sexuality that are moving inside us as well as the culture around us telling us who we are.

So, can you be straight and still fuck around with guys? Sure. Straight men have been doing it for tens of thousands of years (at least). In the recent past they had to go to bookstores and restrooms to meet these needs, but in the age of Grindr and Tinder sex of any kind is just around the corner (literally).

So, I guess the moral of my story is don't let yourself be boxed in by either your biological urges or what your culture is dictating. Especially when you are young - that is the time to try things out. The labels will adjust with what you learn about yourself, and as the culture around you evolves.

 

[Stonecold]

Especially when you are young? I think just as much when you get real old also.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

Especially when you are young? I think just as much when you get real old also.

It's important at any time of life - but I think the thing about sorting yourself out as early in life as you can is that you can potentially save yourself a lot of heartache later on.

I used to be one of the volunteers on a helpline that used to get a lot of calls from "men who have sex with men", which seems the current politically correct term for it. One of the most recurrent themes was the man who got married (to a woman) in his 20s, more or less because that was what was expected, failed to find wedded bliss, and at last after many years began to face up to the fact that they were only sexually interested in men. Some of these men were in their 50s or even their 60s by the time they began to really understand themselves. Some of them were still "closeted" and attempting to kkeep their sexual preference a secret from their families. Others had divorced or separated from their wives, some amicably, others not. Either way, the questions were usually the same - they wanted to know how they could catch up on all the fulfilment they had missed out on.

They may have felt decades ago that they had little choice. Homosexuality was illegal, and looked upon with fear and derision by the majority of the population. Conforming to expectations probably seemed the easiest course.

Times have changed - or at least they have in most First World countries. "Gay" is no longer a dirty word to most people. Sometimes though I think gay men are their own worst enemy. So many seem to want to pretend they are straight, or maybe a little bit bi - anything but gay. That sort of thing should be unnecessary in 2017. Basically, my attitude is: if you think what you are doing is dirty, then it is, for you.

 

[Shelter]

@jeansGuyOZ
Thank you so much for this very good written input.

 

[Stonecold]

I think Gays in Australia have more of a reason to be closeted. They are the only advanced English speaking country to treat Gays as second class citizens by not allowing Gay marriage and allowing it to be put to a vote. In Australia under the Family Law Act 1975, same sex marriages from other countries are not recognized as valid marriages in Australia.
In Australia, you can't get divorced from a marriage that isn't recognized because there is nothing to divorce from.
The Australian parliament just recently in 2017 had to pass emergency legislation because of concerns about the welfare of vulnerable Australians,to outlaw opponents spewing their vitriol while the vote was in progress. Australia did the right thing to do this, but that it was needed shows why some Gays feel the need to be closeted. I am not saying other first world countries are perfect, but they are way ahead of Australia.

During the 1980s and 1990s, the Australian authorities now say, gangs of teenagers in Sydney hunted gay men for sport, sometimes forcing them off the cliffs to their deaths. But the police, many of whom had a reputation for hostility toward gay men, often carried out perfunctory investigations that overlooked the possibility of homicide, former officials and police officers say.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/30/world/australia/australia-gay-men-killed-suicides-sydney.html

This was in the Sydney area so one can only imagine what took place in less liberal areas of Australia.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I think Gays in Australia have more of a reason to be closeted. They are the only advanced English speaking country to treat Gays as second class citizens by not allowing Gay marriage and allowing it to be put to a vote...

...and it's a continuing source of embarrassment. As so often happens, though, the lawmakers in Parliament are well behind social attitudes of the general population, and especially on this issue.

The reasons why we are having a non-compulsory, non-binding plebiscite that was always bound to generate a lot of unnecessary and hurtful debate over an issue that should have simply been decided in parliament, a plebiscite which even the prime minister did not want when it was originally proposed, are complex and are mostly to do with internal machinations within the governing Liberal party. The details are probably not of that much interest to members here. I would just say two things:

(1) Every survey in recent times has indicated that a significant majority of Australians are in favour of allowing same sex marriage, and the margin in favour has increased with every survey. I will be astonished if this plebiscite does not return a resounding yes vote.

(2) I disagree with "Gays in Australia have more of a reason to be closeted." There is a lot more to acceptance of gays than the issue of marriage, important though that is. It certainly depends on just where you live, but most "out" gays in this country co-exist quite happily with the rest of their community. I've seen significant shifts in general community attitudes in even the last twenty years or so. We cannot yet marry, but we have most of the other important rights; we can adopt children, we can have sex in private with a consenting partner, we are protected by law against discrimination on the basis of sexual preference. I can think of a lot worse places to be gay.

 

[Stonecold]

I agree Australia is far ahead of most other countries. I do think though Gays just finding out recently that Gays were hunted for sport and the cops as recently as the 90's looked the other way or even joined in could give people pause especially outside of Sydney since if that happened in Sydney I think it would be valid for Gays in other less liberal areas to wonder what could have happened there.