Am I being too jealous/unreasonable? help please!

[nidorino]

bitchy

Tell me about it!

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

For four years now we've been together, and no, I don't get jealous.

Really:thinking: I find that rather odd, although I understand what kind of jealousy you refer to, however that you don't get jealous, that I can't believe that (see below)... since it is very much a normal feeling, excessive jealousy now this I agree with you. I believe Urban explained it best where there's questioning, there's no trust established, where there's no trust, then jealousy comes up. I've been 6 years with mine, and we're very open, but yeah sometimes I'd be a little jealous and so does he for some situation (but it get erased very quickly with a kiss).

No need to get all huffy dude... I sense so much anger in you reply... relax dude he just asked some help, not to be attacked. The first steps of getting something fix it's to recognize that it is broken, which he did.

Jealousy is a normal feeling and it is within each and every one of us... there's many forms of jealousy; the main categories are Normal and obviously Abnormal... in each there's subcategories such as:

Romantic jealousy: which is the most frequent normal type of jealousy it includes sexual, and relationship jealousy.

Work or Power jealousy: Somebody got that promotion you wanted and worked so hard for.

Friend jealousy: Remember high school?, The continuous fear of loosing your friend to another.

Family jealousy: well if you have siblings you certainly felt that at some point, and still may feel it.

Those were what we call the normal category of jealousy, now if you or anyone in this forum come forward and claim that they NEVER at some point in their life or current felt any of those... they are lying, or they are in severe denial... which brings me to the second category:

Abnormal jealousy is when somebody suffers some kind of mental illness such as paranoia and schizophrenia. And I hope no one of this forum have any of those.

So yes jealousy is a normal feeling and if you never had one of the above, dude you're a super human or you're the second coming that the Adventists were waiting for... and thus I'll start believing in god and praise you every day

 

[ritsuka]

It's too bad that you understand what type of jealousy I was talking of (romantic), and the fact that I was speaking of my current relationship, and I qualified that statement by the fact that there is trust and not cheating, but still decided to write an essay on the subject, apparently directed at me in a snarky way because I offered hard but true advice. I don't care if my boyfriend goes dancing or who he hangs out with, I'm also fine with open relationships, so no, I haven't been romantically jealous in our four years; past boyfriends of mine have also commented on my lack of jealousy in similar situations. I have no family and I'm self-employed; I don't live the life you have in mind, which is off-topic but since you brought it up, there it is and that's the last word I'm saying about it.

I've been verbally attacked for no reason by my friends' boyfriends in the past who were all pissy because they didn't want their partner to have other gay male friends and wanted to control where they went and who they were with out of an insecurity and lack of trust, though not as a result of being mentally ill. I think that sort of immature jealousy is a plague on the human condition, not natural, normal, or acceptable, and I'm happy to say so, not angry. So happy that I have every intention of saying it again. Some people need to try and evolve instead of indulging in their jealous impulses.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

It's too bad that you understand what type of jealousy I was talking of (romantic), and the fact that I was speaking of my current relationship, and I qualified that statement by the fact that there is trust and not cheating, but still decided to write an essay on the subject, apparently directed at me in a snarky way because I offered hard but true advice. I don't care if my boyfriend goes dancing or who he hangs out with, I'm also fine with open relationships, so no, I haven't been romantically jealous in our four years; past boyfriends of mine have also commented on my lack of jealousy in similar situations. I have no family and I'm self-employed; I don't live the life you have in mind, which is off-topic but since you brought it up, there it is and that's the last word I'm saying about it.

I've been verbally attacked for no reason by my friends' boyfriends in the past who were all pissy because they didn't want their partner to have other gay male friends and wanted to control where they went and who they were with out of an insecurity and lack of trust, though not as a result of being mentally ill. I think that sort of immature jealousy is a plague on the human condition, not natural, normal, or acceptable, and I'm happy to say so, not angry. So happy that I have every intention of saying it again. Some people need to try and evolve instead of indulging in their jealous impulses.

That wasn't an essay Ritsuka trust me, but now don't you think that your answer sounds far less angry and more explanative? And don't feel so offended I had people criticizing me on this forum and it didn't really affect me... You may don't like what I wrote, but the matter and the fact is that if some may have been helped by that so call essay they can pinpoint their type of jealousy and start working on it. We have very little information about people's life and I can't just accept that somebody just come up and be their police and judge by saying "Yes you are illogical or you are irrational when one have only one side of the story. I'm not the jealous type either, I have the ability to make difference between fun, trust and cheating just like you do and that is why I've been 6 years with my boyfriend/husband. And trust me I have also been attacked, put down and criticized and even accused of pedophilia because my boyfriend/husband looked like a 17 years old... even went to court to prove his age and I've been backed up by his aunt who came up with his prove of age... all that by people who were so jealous that our relation worked and wanted to end (now what would they have gain of us splitting up I have no darn idea)... I've been down that road too and still am up to this day I also have people trying to break us up. I'm marrying my boyfriend in 4 months and yet I still have people around asking me if I made a good choice, knowing far well that we have been living together for 5 years. I'm also self employed and quite wealthy from it and I didn't imply anything about your lifestyle. It's not to me to judge your lifestyle as I have no idea of it whatsoever and I had and still have a very special one myself.