searching
I just discovered this tragic news today. So I found Czech Hunter 7, starring Leo Cooper, and watched it. This was the first time I ever saw his personality, although I realize the scene was probably staged. Still, I found him to be very enjoyable. There’s something about those deep eastern Euro voices that draws me to them.
Leo caught my eye several years ago when he must have been rather new in the porn industry. I liked his jackoff videos very much. His masculinity was slightly rugged. I’ve always been attracted to guys like that.
The article on Leo’s suicide claimed he had made $500K as a porn star. Did he burn through all that money? I’m beginning to wonder if porn is now a major opportunity for young men in this world of high unemployment. Too bad the work has to be stigmatized. Maybe one day porn will become mainstream.
All the proposed reasons for Leo’s suicide have been interesting:
1. Low self-esteem (from not being able to keep a job and from the tragic, hypocritical “shame” others evidently imposed on him).
2. Financial problems (this seems questionable, considering the amount of money he earned---maybe Prague is a lot more expensive than I realize).
3. Poor judgment fueled by drugs and alcohol.
A couple of years after first noticing him, I did begin to lose interest. As I look back at his porn flicks now, it seems to me that perhaps I lost interest because he had lost interest. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but he doesn’t look all that happy about what he’s doing in a lot of his later scenes. To make that much money, he had to do a LOT of scenes.
There’s one other possibility that hasn’t been mentioned. Sometimes super good-looking guys don’t cope that well when they get close to 30. Their looks fade, suddenly they’re not getting the attention (or jobs) they received when they were younger. They’ve been sliding by on their fantastic looks, while all their peers have been busy learning the art of survival by developing skills. Often very handsome dudes will feel like they’re behind in the race to survive when they get older and their looks fade. I’ve seen them become very bitter and depressed as they rocket towards middle age. This happened to someone I was close to. He was definitely an adonis. After about age 30, he couldn’t understand what happened to all the attention and opportunity that had been showered on him when he was younger. He never really recovered and committed suicide after a long battle with life. It always seemed to me he had everything going for him, but he didn’t seem to think so. Maybe his standards were too high, fueled by all the easy attention of his youth.
As Oscar Wilde so astutely pointed out over 100 years ago, “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
Truman Capote said something similar and used it as the epigraph for his unfinished novel Answered Prayers: “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.”
Thanks to everyone for all the thoughtful words on this subject.
Finally, to Leo himself, I’m not quite sure what to say. “Thanks for the memories,” I guess. RIP.
For just about everyone, life is a search for meaning and purpose. Some find these things more easily than others. Sometimes delusions simply have to suffice.
Whatever the case, I think there’s something out there, or in each of us, that can make getting up each day and living our lives something we very eagerly want to do. Maybe it’s some talent, or a cause of some sort. It’s different for everybody, of course.
The point is: Don’t give up the search!
It's entirely possible that the search itself is a big part of our purpose in life.
I just discovered this tragic news today. So I found Czech Hunter 7, starring Leo Cooper, and watched it. This was the first time I ever saw his personality, although I realize the scene was probably staged. Still, I found him to be very enjoyable. There’s something about those deep eastern Euro voices that draws me to them.
Leo caught my eye several years ago when he must have been rather new in the porn industry. I liked his jackoff videos very much. His masculinity was slightly rugged. I’ve always been attracted to guys like that.
The article on Leo’s suicide claimed he had made $500K as a porn star. Did he burn through all that money? I’m beginning to wonder if porn is now a major opportunity for young men in this world of high unemployment. Too bad the work has to be stigmatized. Maybe one day porn will become mainstream.
All the proposed reasons for Leo’s suicide have been interesting:
1. Low self-esteem (from not being able to keep a job and from the tragic, hypocritical “shame” others evidently imposed on him).
2. Financial problems (this seems questionable, considering the amount of money he earned---maybe Prague is a lot more expensive than I realize).
3. Poor judgment fueled by drugs and alcohol.
A couple of years after first noticing him, I did begin to lose interest. As I look back at his porn flicks now, it seems to me that perhaps I lost interest because he had lost interest. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but he doesn’t look all that happy about what he’s doing in a lot of his later scenes. To make that much money, he had to do a LOT of scenes.
There’s one other possibility that hasn’t been mentioned. Sometimes super good-looking guys don’t cope that well when they get close to 30. Their looks fade, suddenly they’re not getting the attention (or jobs) they received when they were younger. They’ve been sliding by on their fantastic looks, while all their peers have been busy learning the art of survival by developing skills. Often very handsome dudes will feel like they’re behind in the race to survive when they get older and their looks fade. I’ve seen them become very bitter and depressed as they rocket towards middle age. This happened to someone I was close to. He was definitely an adonis. After about age 30, he couldn’t understand what happened to all the attention and opportunity that had been showered on him when he was younger. He never really recovered and committed suicide after a long battle with life. It always seemed to me he had everything going for him, but he didn’t seem to think so. Maybe his standards were too high, fueled by all the easy attention of his youth.
As Oscar Wilde so astutely pointed out over 100 years ago, “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
Truman Capote said something similar and used it as the epigraph for his unfinished novel Answered Prayers: “More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones.”
Thanks to everyone for all the thoughtful words on this subject.
Finally, to Leo himself, I’m not quite sure what to say. “Thanks for the memories,” I guess. RIP.
For just about everyone, life is a search for meaning and purpose. Some find these things more easily than others. Sometimes delusions simply have to suffice.
Whatever the case, I think there’s something out there, or in each of us, that can make getting up each day and living our lives something we very eagerly want to do. Maybe it’s some talent, or a cause of some sort. It’s different for everybody, of course.
The point is: Don’t give up the search!
It's entirely possible that the search itself is a big part of our purpose in life.
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enting his end for possibly some time, didn't find a friendly company to keep him from the worst. What loneliness! People, keep an eye on lonely individuals, whether young, or old, friend, or foe, pleasant, or not. You don't need to be a hero to save a life, or do much, sometimes all you need to do is be there.
