Can't cum in my boyfriends bum

[Turtle2345]

Hey Guys

I have never been able to inside my boyfriends bum.

I always end up having to do something else to get myself to .

This is really starting to get annoying as my boyfriend can manage to inside my bum without any problem.

We have tried with condom and without as we are both negative and fully tested and we've been together for 2+ year.

Anybody got any ideas?

 

[ihno]

People are different. Embrace your individuality. If you can't get the final kick in the ass, then so be it. Don't put yourself under stress.

 

[Machor]

There is nothing wrong about that! Don't get upset and stressed. Try to do things that u enjoy and u are feeling comfortable in!
Maybe u are just scarred that u will do something wrong and not satisfy your guy. Try to relax and everything will be... fine... Everything is in our heads! Relax your mind.

 

[gb2000ie]

As the others have said - we're all different, different things get us off, so what!

B.

 

[Otage]

All above said is very true. Pardon my harshness, but have you tried banging him real hard and long, with long and fast thrusts? I can't always come in the ass, if the going is too slow and smooth And the sad fact is, that the more you think it's a broblem, the more it becomes a broblem.

And waht makes you when wanking? Slow going? Slow start, very fast spurt in the end? Don't have to answer of course, but maybe try to simulate same kinda sensations with your boyfriends ass. And too much lube can also sometimes take the kick off.

 

[Turtle2345]

I haven't exactly paid attention to how I've been banging him to be honest I've just been doing at and ping at a pace that he is ok with.

It's the same with when I wank I just do it.

Also with regards to lube we do use a lot because that's what we've read online and we don't want to injure each other.

 

[Otage]

I haven't exactly paid attention to how I've been banging him to be honest I've just been doing at and ping at a pace that he is ok with.

It's the same with when I wank I just do it.

Also with regards to lube we do use a lot because that's what we've read online and we don't want to injure each other.

Good point, that not wanting to injure each other. And ofc lube is quite essential in anal sex, since anal doesn't produce any natural lube. But there can be also too much lube. Going at it slowly, listening to your bodies, and feeling comfortable is important. Too little lube, then add more. Preferably too much lube, than too little, but just the right amount feels best

It's important to feel oneself relaxed. This can be achieved by many ways, for example massage, rimming, fingering, kissing and everything that feels good and/or makes you horny. But anal sex isn't a must, like has been said before in this thread.

But enough relaxation, right amount lube, and experimenting is the way to go I think. Some like long deep thrusts, some are most sensitive on the tip area of the penis, so they like to keep the tip right on the entrance, in and out. Most important is to experiment, and communicate what feels good to one another.

 

[dargelos]

When you watch porn you can see the way they almost always finish off in the same way that you do, by pulling out and jacking off at the last minute.
So you make love like a porn star. Who dosen't want their very own porn star?
To try something different, teach your boyfriend to vary the tightness of his ring. Some men know how to do this, others need to learn. Once his has the practice with squeezing his hole around your cock in time with your in and out movement, it feels so good that ming will be easier.

 

[Hyp]

You might also try different positions. Experiment so see if it's better when you're in control of the stimulation (as an example, you being on top) vs. him being in control (i.e.: him riding your dick.)

It's awesome that you have a boyfriend and that you care enough about each other to want to work on your lovemaking. Sex can be at its best when it's about the whole experience, not just the squirt at the end.

 

[Turtle2345]

Hey guys

Any more advice on this?

It's still being a problem. My boyfriend has said that it might be because I'm putting too much pressure on myself but how do I stop putting so much pressure on myself?

 

[vitamine_a]

Yeah once you start focusing on something, it is not always easy to forget about it... Maybe you could try something else to take your mind away from it? Like "right sized" condoms? There are many producers of condoms in all kind of sizes - you will find them on the internet. I also once read the suggestion to put a little bit of lube inside the condom, not too much of course otherwise it slides off...

 

[lhardwick69]

i was with a guy that can fuck me until the end of time making me orgasm several times then he still needed to pull out to jack off to --in one way to get fucked for long period of time was great but never being able to feel him deep insideme made me upset but i never questioned it--i just knew when he fucked me it was going to be for a while andeven pulling out it took him like 5 minutes to get off---i think its something in mind that triggers making it difficult to do it--good luck\ i will say--we dated for couple yrs and he never came inside me

 

[Turtle2345]

Should I just give up on trying to do it? And just accept that it's not something I'm meant to be able to do?

 

[tiogilito]

This is perhaps the one thing that is a slight problem with porn... Everything looks too perfect. In reality things rarely are. So when personal lives are not quite the same, some of us think there is something wrong....

The first thing to realise is that you are not the only one with such a "problem". In fact, it is a common thing and mostly just a psychological barrier.

1) Have sex with your boyfriend does not have to follow a particular set pattern. Try different things, and things that may stress you because you worry it may go "wrong" are perhaps left off the menu most of the time. It is supposed to relax you and bring you together, not stress you out! When you start topping him and you are thinking "Oh, God, it's going to go wrong again" you can be pretty certain that it will.... In fact, there is no "wrong". It is about loving each other, not about "performance".

2) Perhaps you are more of a natural "bottom"? Also, if you are topping, and your boyfriend s first, does this "pressure" you to quickly, in case he gets bored? And this "pressure" puts you off? If that is the case, try to stop him from ming until you do, perhaps.

3) Perhaps, if you are hell bent on this to work, try this: no porn and no sex for at least 2 weeks. I bet it will work just fine then. This will help you to unlearn that psychological barrier, and you may even find next time it gets easier. If this may cause problems with your boyfriend, let him top you, but try not to come.

Best wishes to both of you

p

 

[Turtle2345]

But we only ever see each other once every two to four weeks

 

[tiogilito]

Well, in a sense, that makes it easier: simply don't for about 2 weeks before you meet up, then I am pretty sure things will be a lot easier. Also, once you manage to do it just the once, the chances are you psychological barrier will be either gone or a lot lower than before.

 

[Turtle2345]

But I'm seeing him tomorrow and I agree that once I've managed it once things will be a lot easier.

 

[tiogilito]

Well, perhaps I can suggest this: tomorrow don't even try that, do something else in bed, something you fell comfortable with, something that give you no stress... but is should be also something you boyfriend likes, at least some of the time...

Then prepare yourself to try next time you see each other....

 

[Turtle2345]

But I really want to do it tomorrow

 

[Turtle2345]

Could going really hard and really fast or getting my boyfriend to tighten his hole make a difference?