Offensive slang - "that's gay"

[wildchild]

Heyas lads,

I'm young and everyone my age, and I'm sure in other age groups, use the slang phrase 'that's gay'. I have a bunch of straight friends and they use it around me, even though I never use it. I've told them it's annoying and I've let it be ever since.

I just want your views on this. It's deroggatory because people say 'that's gay' when something bad or shit happens. To me, I think of it as if you know, when people are describing something bad as gay they inadvertently associate being gay is something bad and unwelcomed... if you know what I mean. I just don't understand why they use it. The english language has sooo many other terms like shit, stupid, fucked etc and yet people have to use the term 'thats gay' instead.

That's my look on it and I hate it, I'm a pretty laid back Aussie but I think people use this term too carelessly. I think even the Simpsons used this term on their show or 'fag', I can't remember.

That's my 2 cents What do you guys reckon.

 

[rockstar]

In my opinion, it's a form of bigotry..And if u dont feel comfortable hearing those slurs, get urself a good lawyer, sue them for sexual harassment.. it doesnt matter if u r gay or not, if they say those hurtful slurs, those are still considered as a form of sexual harassment..

Wikipedia defined Sexual Harassment as

Sexual harassment, is intimidation, bullying or coercion of a sexual nature.

So, yeah.. U can easily win.. Get urself a micro sound recorder and start recording them..

 

[bonuslink]

Isn't the term 'gay' in the past (I mean the 60s) supposed to mean otherwise - in a positive way...
But I've never been bothered by such term anyway...

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

The only time I use the expression myself is when addressing someone else I know to be gay, and when I want to refer to some aspect of behaviour that fits gay stereotype, like a local gay couple near where I live who got themselves two dogs. I would only use it to someone I was on good terms with.

If the situation had nothing to do with sexual oriemtation then "that's so gay" is just silly, and could be offensive, depending on how it's said. But how do you stop people using offensive language?

At least it's good that you can tell your friends that it offends you, and I assume that means you have let them know you are gay. In decades gone by, kids would have bitten their lip and suffered in silence, for fear of being exposed as a poof.

 

[taurus2904]

My niece, age 14, uses this term -- in a negative, put-down or dismissive meaning -- and I call her on it every time. Only once did it really grate my nerve and replied, "When you do something stupid, you don't hear me say, 'That's so Baptist!'" I think she only barely got the point.

 

[Sander]

At first I was offended but then I started to really think about it, like this big fucking stink Elton John kicked up recently about some movie saying..."that's gay" and that was it, not opening bashing or anything really bad just that term...Oh lady Elton, pull the pride stick out of your ass. If people break it down and stop being offended about it and think for a second, how is it being used, is it an open attack on gay people? No? Quite honestly what this is, is the evolution of speech/language. The word gay, it never meant gay as in homosexuality, it was another word for Happy. The Flintstones had a gay old time after all hehe, same with the words, queer, fag, ect. The meaning of a word changes depending on the context it is used in (also the history or era, as well as culture, region, hell several factors). Gay went from meaning Happy, to homo, to now not a slam against us but a synonym for stupid, just as the word Retarded has been used in a similar way nowadays. Words like love or hate as well are used in correctly in the context they are used in. OH I JUST LOVE CHEESE. what does that mean you want to have a love affair with it? marry it, fuck it? Words change, words evolve, in the past few years, I've seen people used the term, that's so soft, or just calling someone soft. So look at it that way, words being used incorrectly and by stupid people.

 

[XMan101]

I use the word "fag" all the time, as do most people I know.

It means cigarette in the UK

 

[Sander]

In my opinion, it's a form of bigotry..And if u dont feel comfortable hearing those slurs, get urself a good lawyer, sue them for sexual harassment.. it doesnt matter if u r gay or not, if they say those hurtful slurs, those are still considered as a form of sexual harassment..

Wikipedia defined Sexual Harassment as


So, yeah.. U can easily win.. Get urself a micro sound recorder and start recording them..

I get where your coming from but your logic is a bit faulty dontcha think? your definition of Sexual Harassment keyword here being sexual, I mean you're pretty much reaching here...if you said slander maybe as form of harassment that makes sense but sexual harassment? Rape? uh a woman at a job having lude comments made about her in front of her? You know things well sexual in nature. See even slander here is going a bit to far...yes it is a slur and it yes can be offensive there is no question of that...but I am trying to think of how to form this...Ok the suing them part, honestly?...Really? For one there are FAR worse forms of harassment then the simple term of "that's gay" I've heard of..quite honestly from the stories I've heard, from people, the news, friends, family, I'd rather settle for two little stupid words, the oh getting my head kicked in, being beaten nearly to death by a gang of people and oh so many other horrid atrocities. So please think about it that way, deal with two little semi hurt for words...or...lay broken in a hospital bed because some people in this world cannot accept that which is different?

 

[Whisper]

I hope I can express my thoughts in English...

There is this stupid saying that many of my friends use, when you have to do something unpleasant: "That's homo's job to do" (I still haven't heard a Finnish word that would mean the same as gay, the word homo seem to have both negative and positive meanings in my language, but if there's any Finn who knows better, then feel free to correct me ). I usually start arguing and asking why they use that saying, but I don't think they even realize how it truly sounds.

And then one thing that really makes me wonder: my fiancée and his cousin and brother calls each other as homo, but it is used as friendly way, like they try to sound like they're insulting each other when truly they are saying how much they care. And those three are all straight men...

*sigh* It feels like I can't put my thoughts in English, but I hope you'll understand what I'm trying to say... Maybe I'm just trying to say that we are all equal and should be treated as one

 

[loveless92]

I'm fine with my friends using it, but way in the back of my mind it's like, "Really? You can't think of a better word?"

 

[Sander]

my fiancée and his cousin and brother calls each other as homo, but it is used as friendly way, like they try to sound like they're insulting each other when truly they are saying how much they care. And those three are all straight men...

the same can be said of anything really, I insult my friends, call them bitches and a whole slew of other words hehe, they laugh, they know I care. I do it for shock value mostly, maybe I dunno, but for some reason I express myself best by the good old character assassination heheh. I am very kind to my friends when the need be as well of course. Just saying the way their using it, same way that I use it, the whole friendly insult thing, so why can't str8 people some what do it? hell I call me follow gay and str8 friends alike breeders, to piss'em both off. That's why I get so upset when the community throws a big fuss over something so trivial and insignificant. Let the breeders have "that's so gay" aren't we superior to them anyways? well at least in tolerance ZING ^-^

 

[wildchild]

Thanks for all the interesting replies. But yeah, I think you have to sorta understand that gay in OUR day means homosexuals. And I'm 20 years old and my friends know that the word means homosexual almost exclusively nowadays; who says 'how gay' to convey happiness in 2010 LOL? And I just think used today, it sorta has an almost unconscious underlayer of meaning that being gay is bad.

Like I said, I'm a pretty laid back kind of guy but this loose use of word is not ok for me. My friends use it, I've told them once and thats enough and if they decide to change it, then it's up to them ultimately.

I think when we justify that it's ok, it sort of undermines respect or you might become ignorant of the fact that it can mean a lot more to others. Again, I'm very laid back, people can call me a bitch, whore, dickhead whatever but saying something is gay just annoys the shits outta me loooooool. So many words, don't understand why they have to use that particular word.

 

[rockstar]

If u r here for gay porns, then u r gay.. so man up and deals with it.. i dealt with it,, used to be depressed, now i get even... u should try that..

 

[Sander]

Well of course if you use insulting slurs, you might as well take insulting slurs thrown your way. But because you use that kind of slurs doesn't mean everybody use them. Some people have more tact than that. So yeah, maybe you find it trivial and insignificant, for you can't even understand how insults like that can be hurtful since you admit yourself to use slurs. We never said that there were no gay people who insulted others, there are, and they also should be called on their slurs. But sorry, because some are so inclined in using slurs doesn't mean that everybody should pay at their place. We are not superior to them. We all deserve respect.

Cute, you call it "tact" like anybody these days even knows the meaning of it. It is trivial and insignificant, let me throw a little perspective your way. I think I would be much more offended if let's say someone said something like oh I dunno "HEY FAG, I am going to kill you" or other things of that nature, then if some imbecile calls something so gay because he finds it stupid....THAT'S perspective, that's the big picture here...far more terrifying things to be called...far worse things to happen to us, that's why I am so feverish with this "so gay" thing, in a few years hell maybe even sooner it will change, big freaking deal. See the big picture here, stop nit picking at every little detail. OH this is offensive, OH that is offensive, THE WORLD is offensive, to everyone and everything in it. "We all deserve respect" sure one day ya that'd be nice, I doubt it would ever happen in our lives, not even gays, woman, different races, religions, prejudice is a deep seeded, deep rooted human emotion. World peace, impossible, the world needs balance. Be thankful society as a whole has improved...well for the most part...

 

[LuckyMe69]

It's only offensive if you allow it to be. Remember the old adage, Sticks & Stones, I have always lived by it. Remember it is only a fad and like all fads it will get old and will be replaced by something else. Remember these old ones, Kewl/Cool, Groovey, Outta Site, What Up and on and on and on.

 

[Electric_XII]

http://anonym.to/?http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/​

 

[lhardwick69]

thats the thing wrong with society today and we as gay men take everything said as a major chip on our shoulder--people say stupid things for stupid reasons but it is a free country-the usa that is--freedom of speech is allowed here--a person can get in front of me call me a fag--a shitpacker-- and say things like thats so gay--i dont care--i dont take anything offensively--if i did my ass would be in jail for bashing alot of peoples skulls in--as for the comment about suing the person or persons for saying it --bullshit--people want to sue for the littlest things anymore


--

its like people that uses the n word--when nigger means an ignorant person-- and so on--i only worry about things when the guylays his hands on me for being gay and thinks he can make a name for himself by kicking my gay ass--it is then i have a problem that usually ends swift--as him getting his ass kicked and he will live knowing he got his ass kicked by this fag that he hated so much--


its time to grow up and quit taking everything so literally---take it like a grain of salt--pinch it in your fingers and toss over your shoulder and move on--sure tell the person or persons thats saying--thats gay or thats so gay--and tell them you dont like that being said but then they will more than likely bring up stuff you say that they find offensive but never said a word to you about it--or they will say what are you gay--(thats if they dont know) and if they know you are gay and still say it--i usually say you ar such a homo whenever a guy says thats gay--


life is too short and can be better lived if you wake up relaxed in knowing that you dont let such petty things bother you when you go to bed--at night--

 

[wildchild]

haha to the post above, you make it out as if im so caught up all day, everyday, overly concern about this use of language. like, i love my life, this is just a huge pet peeve. i dont go around everyday sulking, taking things literally. its all about relativity and perspective. try telling a black person to get over the word nigger.

my straight friends joke about me being gay and all that shit. im a aussie, i joke like 24/7non stop. i go to bed thinking what an awesome day i have. u don't understand how easy going i am.

its just this buggers me lol. u may think its trivial, but its important for other people. i dont wanna compare but like kevin rudd said sorry to the australian aborigines - and i mean, like, its just a word. but that literally stopped the nation. so you have to understand that words have great underlying meaning and effect.

in a perfect world, u can tell someone to get other it, and they will. but unfortunately we dont live in such a world lol.

 

[Paran0id]

Lately I've been telling my friends to stop using the word "faggot" when they talk, so they've tried to stop haha. But, it's hard cos they're all footballers who are use to calling each other 'faggots' 'fag' 'homos' 'gay cunt' etc;

Ehhh.

 

[Behrluvr]

I find it irritating. Why do people slavishly follow pop culture like that? To the point where they slavishly follow the speech patterns of others? Can't they think for themselves?

Other stupidities which are in the same league as 'so gay' are 'dude' , 'doooode', 'my bad', and any ghetto speech like 'bro, homeboy, bad ride. Do these people realize how dumb they sound?

We like to think we are so free and open when in reality we are wearing the uniform of conformity when we speak with silly pop speech like 'that's sooooo gay'. Yeech.