Offensive slang - "that's gay"

[XMan101]

That's sooo gay dood!

Oops, my bad !



I agree , always wonder why people start using these stupid phrases, it's a bit like the corporate world using ghastly phrases like "going forwards" and tacking this completely useless and meaningless phrase onto the end of sentences. That grates on me (and many others) more than the above does, same with "we'll touch base" aaarghhhhhhh!!

 

[Joe14]

The more a word is used the less powerful it becomes. Show offence and you give the user a weapon. Ignore the ignorant.

 

[dillydallier]

I think most people are being too sensitive when they get huffy about the "that's gay" statement. I have heard my co-workers say it many times and it isn't nasty or hateful. It's just something that has worked it's way into people vernacular.

 

[diklik]

In current North American slang, "that's so gay" is a derisive term, meant to indicate weakness or inadequacy, but not necessarily defining someone's sexual orientation. The idea seems to be one of using gay to indicate extreme delicateness, fragility, sissiness, etc.; perhaps a subtle dig at drag queens or transgendered people. As such it is an offensive term, probably used in ignorance of it's true undercurrent of meaning.

The human need to feel acceptance and part of an identified group is as old as the human race. That's why people adopt the use of various speech idioms, without ever understanding what they are saying.

 

[needsomehot]

It is so irritating when people say it like that.

Gay is not a personality or a certain way to be, it's just a word that describes who you like.

 

[terb56]

That's Gay

I never use the term myself. I don't call anyone a fag either. It is a form of bigotry. I'm not gay, but was brought up to respect everyone of God's children so would never call anyone many of the derogatory names people call various groups. Sometimes it's important to be kind and courteous.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

haha to the post above, you make it out as if im so caught up all day, everyday, overly concern about this use of language. like, i love my life, this is just a huge pet peeve. i dont go around everyday sulking, taking things literally. its all about relativity and perspective. try telling a black person to get over the word nigger...

Exactly.

To use a word like "gay" that is used to describe a lifestyle, in a way that makes it synonymous with "bad", is wrong. It's offensive. It may not have been said with the intention of hurting people, but it can hurt just the same. And no, we don't have to slash our wrists over it, but it is important to stand up and say "Hey, use a different word can't you?"

One little insult is not going to kill you - but lots and lots of them over a lifetime just might. This is not being overdramatic - I still occasionally read stories of young men committing suicide because they can't take the stress of knowing that they are gay and feeling they will be rejected by their friends and family if they are found out. This is still happening even in the so-called enlightened USA. And let's not forget countries like Iran and Uganda and Jamaica where you don't have to kill yourself, the state or society will happily do it for you. So no, one word used as an insult may be trivial occurrence, but the issue itself is far from trivial, and every little step we can take to assert our self-respect is important, for ourselves and for our brothers.

 

[hothot44]

i agree, i find it quite degrading

 

[cybershyguy29]

In current North American slang, "that's so gay" is a derisive term, meant to indicate weakness or inadequacy, but not necessarily defining someone's sexual orientation. The idea seems to be one of using gay to indicate extreme delicateness, fragility, sissiness, etc.; perhaps a subtle dig at drag queens or transgendered people. As such it is an offensive term, probably used in ignorance of it's true undercurrent of meaning.

The human need to feel acceptance and part of an identified group is as old as the human race. That's why people adopt the use of various speech idioms, without ever understanding what they are saying.

I totally agree with you! When people say this phrase, it equates (the statement) to being a softie a weakling, and I don't understand why they think gays are weak. And most of the time the people who say this are homophobics. I mean you if I hear you saying this to me, I'd be offended, like big time!

 

[Cherylicious]

You don't see people say "That's black" because you know it's offensive. Not every black person act the same way just like not all gay act the same way.

 

[feelgoodlost]

This wouldn't be much of a discussion if the popular saying was "That's so black" because people generally realise how stupid it is to defend that kind of language. It's ridiculous to hear people try to defend it as well, especially by talking about the evolution of usage and meanings over time and through culture. Yes, there was a time when gay was a synonym for happy but black once referred only to a shade/colour, too but few would try to hide behind that moronic reasoning now though.

 

[987654]

Yeah, hearing that phrase is offensive. However, it is in the culture and I think most people don't mean for it to be offensive. I don't know if it'll ever leave.

 

[Daedalus]

I always associate the phrase "that's gay" with the South Park series. Here is an extract from an interview with the creators of South Park:

Sometimes the show is so perfectly offensive it seems like the people in charge of standards aren’t paying attention. Like, Oh, it’s just those crazy kids at South Park! Does the show get a pass?

MS: We got one note last week. This character says, “No more blowing guys on Colfax Avenue for a pint of vodka for this cowboy!” And they’re like, Can’t say “blowing.” But we begged and they said okay. Did you see the one where the Virgin Mary was bleeding out of her ass? A lot of times, when the whole show hinges on one thing, we’ll tell the network the idea first, to make sure they’re not gonna pull it on us. They had some comments on that one. They didn’t want it to look like a butt. And they didn’t want anybody putting their finger in the butt. We don’t set out to offend people. But sometimes, it’s like when you flip off the principal and he doesn’t care. You’re like, You’re supposed to care about that. We absolutely get a pass.

TP: We’re almost disappointed when we don’t hear from anyone. The notes are really inconsistent. In the first year, they’re like, “You can’t say ‘fag.’ There’s no way. And you can’t say, ‘That’s gay,’ because it’s offensive to homosexuals.” It’s like, Yeah, but that’s how kids talk. Finally, Mr. Garrison could say ‘fag’ because he said, “I’m gay. That means that now I can say the word fag. ” Now, nine years later, Garrison can scream, “We’ll see about this, you fudge-packing fags!” to two gay people who want to get married. It’s funny to watch the evolution. I don’t know if evolution is the right word, but it’s funny.

So that's how they rationalise it --i.e. they is no intention to cause offence. The slang is irrational and random, as it were. In other words... it's just a joke? Then again it could be argued that the producers of SP are playing with fire insofar as there is sometimes a fine line between jokes and insults.

 

[json11]

It is just a cheap form of bigotry, but they don't say that's so straight . Nothing but a cheap put down.

 

[Minos]

I use the word "fag" all the time, as do most people I know.

It means cigarette in the UK

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: it`s just funny because i use to smoke when i was younger and there was this homeless guy who was always around, then, one day at my break, he came to me and said:

may i have ONE fag?

i said:

you can have TWO!

(he was kinda cute for a homeless)

 

[bme5628]

I've been fat all my life, why, I weighed the most in my 3 grade class. Over the years, I've heard so many fat jokes, that I decided it just wasn't worth the effort to have my feelings hurt or to get angry. It was just a fact of life and I decided to live with it. After I made that concious decision, hearing someone call me fat, etc, never bothered me again. Now I'm 54 and am glad I did that, I'm sure it saved me a lot of stress. I've also been gay all my life, and well to me the same principle applies. You are not going to change the way people talk or think, and getting all worked up because of someone's ignorance isn't worth it. Some day, people will be more educated (hopefully) and be more caring of other peoples feelings, and will choose their words more carefully. After all when I was a kid the 'N' word was used by everyone without a second thought, and times have changed that. All we can do as gay people is to lead by example.

 

[hawtsean]

In current North American slang, "that's so gay" is a derisive term, meant to indicate weakness or inadequacy, but not necessarily defining someone's sexual orientation.

Diklik is correct, but it goes much deeper in my opinion. The only current, common use of the word GAY is to define a homosexual person, usually specified as male in gender. The use of 'that's so gay' is offensive to me, on behalf of my brother humans who prefer to dress in drag and adopt mannerisms that are said to be more feminine. It also slurs my sister humans by implication that femininity in any form might be weak or substandard.

It would be really easy to advocate hate-in-return, but that will only escalate. Calm and rational response (NOT reaction) is what we all need to do when we hear that line. Just ask the speaker what is gay about 'it' (whatever they refer to) and what they really mean, and then offer the correct English word.........weak, not good, poor, disappointing, substandard, undesireable, ........................you get the picture.

 

[topdog]

... It would be really easy to advocate hate-in-return, but that will only escalate. Calm and rational response (NOT reaction) is what we all need to do when we hear that line. ...

Yeah, I get this kind of thing at the office all the time. I work with a lot of military and ex-military guys, so you can imagine sometimes the testosterone level goes off the charts. Last time someone uttered that phrase around me, I jumped in matter-of-factly:

"Oh, that's not gay. I'm gay."

That stopped the jokers in their tracks. All of a sudden it wasn't so funny anymore.

So my policy is - own it. Don't lecture; don't disapprove; don't complain. Because the problem isn't that they are trying to be insensitive and disrespectful - it's that they just don't get it. To them "gay" is some artsy-fartsy faggy thing somewhere out there. I let them know that gay = me, so ridiculing the gay is the same as ridiculing me. They can keep on joking in the future if they want, but they are going to look like a horse's ass to everyone around them.

I find this is true about a lot of anti-gay stuff. It's not hate, so much as it's ignorance.

 

[iryhousen]

I always associate the phrase "that's gay" with the South Park series.

I think Parker and Stone have popularized the phrase much more than it would be otherwise. Alan Ball claims that they have made it into the ultimate insult that one kid can say to another. I never see South Park downloads anywhere. Is this series broadcast internationally?

 

[nabg29]

That's Gay

I HATE this saying. I wish people would stop using it.