When and how was your "Coming Out"?

[Bo.]

Well If you loved my story then you might want to purchase my autobio book entitled "The Memoirs of Seph"

From now on in Russian too
p.s. I hope you'll pay me something for the translation :whew: h go on:





And now seriously. Thanks for sharing your story, Seph!

 

[jockeylover2]

Free At Last

There are many different stories about revealing myself. There are the stories of telling my parents, my siblings, my friends and my co-workers. I think I'll begin with "Telling My Parents".

I had been away at college in my freshman year. I came home for Christmas Break very distraught following a mad, knock-down, drag-out punch-up with my dorm-mate/boyfriend/bff since 10th grade.
It was a horrible scene - it ended in the hallway with both of us stark naked and security guards pulling us apart. I don't recall the exact spark that ignited the built up tension between us but I'm sure it was jealousy. After a trip to the infirmary I left for home.

I arrived bruised and shaken and I was horrified by the prospect of facing my folks. I knew they would be shocked and worried to death. I entered the kitchen - all the lights in the house were on and it was midnight. The whole gang was waiting up for my triumphant return. I looked like a survivor of a train wreck. My mother's jaw dropped and my father stood frozen at the sight.

Rather than waiting for the interrogation I quickly said I had been in a fight and they should see the other guy. Now, they all new I was never a fighter and my story seemed unbelievable (if it were my older brothers standing there looking like hell my parents wouldn't have even asked, lol).

After a little chit-chat I went to the den and my mother followed. I broke down and began to sob like a schoolgirl. I told my mother I had to tell her something that I was sure she already knew but I had a need to tell her the whole story. She said the right things and stroked my hair (I had lovely hair back then, lol) as I tried to speak. I told her "I'm the black sheep of our family, I have always been different and now I can say I'm a queer (the term gay was still unknown to me because I had only heard harsh words like fag, faggot, queer and sissy to name a few) and I can't change that".

In her special way she told me of my uncle and some cousins who were like me and I knew them and they were good men and I was good, too. The conversation was one of the best experiences of my life. I learned that both my parents knew from early childhood I would be different and they had always encouraged me to be true to myself. She said I had nothing to be ashamed of but I should be careful about who I was open to because of consequences I had been shielded from by my older brothers and sisters. I found out that my brothers had been in many fights over the years because of talk around school. I had been bullied by classmates but I didn't know my brothers had taken shit from their classmates as well. I must say I had and still have the best family a queer could ask for. Unconditional acceptance and even protection from the cruel realities of life.

If you have a story you would like to share please post it here. I think some closeted members might take inspiration from our example. If they cannot come-out themselves at least they can hear some of the different scenarios and responses the rest of us have experienced. In that way perhaps our fellow members who must hide their true nature can feel a little of the liberation "Coming Out" can bring.

jl2
_

 

[XMan101]

Great inspiration indeed, Jockey

Thanks for sharing that.

Mike xx

 

[crazycrazy]

Hmm,intresting thread,makes it easier for people who havent came out yet,might help reading some real stories. So,here goes my story(kinda big)

I had a lot of problems dealing with the fact I was gay. Had no one to talk with. I was 13years old when I first found out myself. I knew how to deal with most things alone,so I didn't really tell anyone. I was pretending that I liked girls, I used to make out with many of them. I even had fucked one when I was 16 .So,3 years later,i was 19,I was done with school
and I was working for 1year already. I had enough money to do what I wanted to. Plane ticket,passport. I was leaving my country. I would go to U.S.A. I was at the airport,alone,I hadnt told anyone I would leave.My flight was delayed due to bad weather. And then I saw my mother coming towards me.
-Why are you doing this?It would be pretty nice if you had at least told me so.
-I am sorry? You wouldn't care anyway,would you?19 whole years,you didnt care at all about me.
-Is that what you think?I know why you doing that.For the last 3years I have been listening the same thing while you sleeping:
"Fuck me Nick"...I was shocked.Nick was my first crush,a school mate and one of my best friends in high school.
-Well then,I guess you knew everything after all. I said
-I did,and I know how you are feeling about it.But we are just gonna go back home and talk about everything.

Turned out everyone knew about me,but they never wanted to put me in the hard position of talking about it.2years have passed since then. Now,if someone asks me,I will tell the truth immediately.2 weeks ago?I was shopping while I met...Nick...I hadnt seen him for 3years now. And let me tell you about that one.We were talking about 10 minutes,when he asked me if I have any girlfriend at the moment.I was like,nah, I am gay. If we werent surrounded by so many people, I think that he would have absolutely kissed me. He told me he is gay as well,and that he had a crush on me for a really long time. So he called me two days later,and we had some really good sex,but thats it,I couldnt be bothered more with him,after everything I had been through for him.

So,I guess coming out wasnt that hard and painful for me after all.

 

[XMan101]

Nice account, Crazy

I need to ask why " I couldnt be bothered more with him,after everything I had been through for him. "

Was it because you finally had your "fantasy" realised or you just gave up on the idea of being with someone?

 

[crazycrazy]

Guess I just gave up on the idea of being with him.It wasnt really just a fantasy when I was like 17,I really loved him,and thought he was the perfect man for me. But he wasnt a really good person,he used to treat people in a very bad way,I couldn't understand that back then when I was blind by "love",but since I now do,I dont want to be with someone like him

 

[XMan101]

I agree with you Crazy

It gets worse with age I'm really fussy now. To me the best thing (& always has been) is a good friendship. You can never buy that !

 

[Nelson]

Last night. To my best mate. In his car. He's the only one who knows, and I told him because he's gay too and he was talking about his angst - and everything he's going through I'm going through too. So, I had to be honest. He came out to me last year after another one of our friends forced him to. (Long story.) LOL I knew about him before he admitted it to himself, but he told me that he had no idea about me. I guess its a good thing I went to speech therapy years ago to get rid of my lisp! I could barely sleep last night because I was so relieved, but it was so fucking hard to tell him. I can't tell my family; we're devout Catholics and it would kill my parents. But at least I've got my mate. Thank God!

 

[XMan101]

Nelson you have lots of friends here and you'll get lots of support

Thanks for your post, and please keep posting

 

[Nelson]

Thanks X-Man.

 

[Thor]

hmmm, something occurred to me reading your coming out stories....

I think a lot of us were out before we ever told anyone, seems like are family and friend knew it before we said it!!!! LOL

 

[sweetuttsada]

Hmm... Did u have sum1 now sephi?
I have a on crush my str8 best friend too...
once when i was in high school, but i over him now. bcoz he's a jerk.

Now i have a crush on my roomate , we used to be like twins.
I used to lay my head on his shoulder during class.
I used to touch his butt , and he dont mind it.
sleeping on his lap while im on the bus.

Now whenever i touch him, he feels uncomfortable.
He seems to distance himself from me, I asked him y, He said that im acting like im gay.
I feel so sad when i see him hangout with his girlfriend, I feel very sad when he doesnt answer my call or smses....

I love him so much...im obsessed with him. but i can never have him.
its so painful
bcoz of that, i always have suicidal thoughts.

 

[Thor]

hmmm, not sure what to say here Seph.. i'm not sure i understand did you just not want him?

 

[XMan101]

We all go through pain in love and life. It's part of the process.

Falling in love with a guy is NO DIFFERENT than falling for a girl. A girl half my age swept me off my feet because she was so cute! I don't fall in love, but I did then. It made me the happiest I've ever been , or so I thought!

Only one guy in the world did I really fall for - and we're still the best of friends, and he's happy with his partner. We've been friends for over 20 years now.

It's so easy to lose yourself inside when you fall in love, or have a crush, but keep your head above the clouds.

Life is never kind, and what you think you want may not be in the end

 

[XMan101]

Never give up my friend - but be happy in life. Sometimes relationships are nothing but heartache.

If we strike it rich, well some do, but a couple I know were married (hetero) and were the "perfect" happy couple. They split after a great number of years.

After my "fling" with love I'm back to being happily single Sometimes it's a nice thought to think you have someone to cuddle in the evenings, but I wouldn't go back again I don't think. I don't feel unhappy, I have great friends and they to me are far more important!!

 

[Shonen]

I am very happy to see people sharing their experiences here. Glad we created this section.

Sweets we are here for you, I have been in similar situations like you. Does your friend like gay people or does he fear them? I am only 23 now but in the short time span I have been through alot. Thankfully alot of happy moments but I have been through some bad stuff.

This story is going to be long, i like to give details alot. This is basically how a friendship went very wrong between me and a friend.

When I started HS I moved to the town my Dad grew up in , and lived with my grandmother. I went to the HS that my Dad and my Aunt and Uncles went to. I was pretty much closeted at this school until my sophomore year. Even though the summer before my freshman year I came out to all my friends back home.

My Freshman year some knew about me and I was still denying it, but my sophomore year in HS is when I stopped caring and if you asked me I would just say yes I am. I was in NJROTC so alot of my friends stemmed from that and we had our little group. As a freshman I hung out with the upperclassmen cadets. As a sophomore I was still hanging out with them and brought some freshman in to our small little group. Any who the oldest people in our group were juniors named cody and ashley they were a couple , very free with them selves, also they were free with them selves sexually and they are primarily the reason why I am pretty much open and not afraid to tell people.

There was this freshman boy I had a crush on, his name was Travis. We used to wrestle on the beach , play grab ass, he was basically like my best friend. In our group we played truth or dare which basically just became dare. Got my first kiss from a guy because of that game ( but thats another story) . During one of our games a question came up on who I liked. I would not say, because it was Travis. That night me and travis were talking on the phone and he asked me who did I like. I thought to myself , well he knows I am gay so I guess why not just tell him. I told Travis , " I like you, its you". He was shocked but thought it was cool.

Our friendship never really changed, he hung out with me the same and played grab ass just the same, until one night. He was spending the night at my home and we were drinking rum, whiskey and other stuff. We got a little buzz from it, Travis started acting out a little bit over exaggerating his drunken state. So that night ended with me giving him head and him well not doing the same for me. BTW before that we used to sleep together in the same bed, that night we did not. He sat as far away from me that night.

We still hung out but at this time our friendship started to go downhill. He was going to spend the night again with me. Just to hang out. Before he came over this girl I was close friends with , who I told my first experience with him to, decided to confront him about it even after I told her not to. He just denied it. I found out before he came over that this had happened, I was scared.

He came over and we wrestled on my bed that night like we always did but after a while it became violent , he was choking me, hitting me harder, being rougher than usual. He was saying why did you tell her about what we did, I am not gay, your the gay one.
He elbowed me in the face and I started bleeding. At that point he stopped said he was sorry and went to sleep. After that our friendship kind of just crumbled. He became an asshole to me and hated what we did , even though it happened several other times later. He was just a jerk. Eventually I gained new friends and just went on with my life.

To this day I blame myself for the situation. I think If I did not tell that girl things may have been different. Although after what he did to me, it was pretty evident that something may have still went wrong with out the girl's intervention.

I am not sure why I told that story, well truly that was my only bad experience. So since then I have been more cautious about my crushes on close friends.

 

[XMan101]

That same thing could have happened to me when I was 17!!

 

[Thor]

I was sooo in love with my bestfriend in HS, but he just never wanted me
after that i just gave up on the whole love thing...lol

 

[trek]

Coming Out ???

X( Are you for real ??? better dead than outshh::shh:

 

[Bo.]

X( Are you for real ??? better dead than outshh::shh:

Unfortunately you are totally right, trek. In many countries the situation is like that like you explained it.