Age difference?

[low666]

What are your takes on big age differences? Mine is that age ain't nothing but a number, mainly because I am 18 and my boyfriend is 40 haha. But I am curious on what other opinions are, thanks.

 

[lhardwick69]

to me age is just a number--just like others races is just another skin color--you cant help who you fall in love with or you cant help when two people with same interests decide to have sex--if you go through life worrying what others think then can never be happy with that person i was with a younger guys for 3 yrs until unforeseen event took him out of my life--i miss him still to this day and dont regret one minute falling in love with him

 

[yoyo888]

Im 40 something. Would love to have a 18YO BF.

So how did you Guyz meet?

Si

 

[lhardwick69]

how did who meet me and my younger partner or low666 and his older lover

 

[choi15]

The whole age gap issue (provided 18+) is a social construction. If there is real physical chemistry, then there is no reason why age should matter.

But if the age gap is huge (40+ years), I can understand the hesitation from friends as family as there will be some huge obstacles the younger guy would have to take on at some point.

 

[Behrluvr]

If speaking about porn only, I find Daddy/son , or Son/daddy porn fantasies among the hottest. I'm not big on twinks, but when you combine a smaller, submissive, boyish bottom, with a tiny rear end, ...with a big, hairy, muscled Daddy, whew...Like the ones Arpad Miklos does.

Although hard to find, the opposite is also hot, a bottom daddy with a TopSon. A streetpunk or skinhead combined with an older submissive daddy gets my attention everytime. I'm not aware of any porn houses which cater to us TopSon/bottomdaddy lovers.

 

[jeansGuyOZ]

I dislike any fixation on age, or race, or other irrelevancies.

I find some people's fetish for specifically having sex with someone significantly older than themselves to be almost as annoying as when they reject someone purely because of age. If a much younger guy than myself is interested in sex, and I find him attractive, I will do it, but I am not interested in father/son role play, which to be honest I find rather disturbing.

 

[gb2000ie]

I dislike any fixation on age, or race, or other irrelevancies.

Well said!

Wanting to go out with someone just because of their age is as silly to me as not wanting to go out with someone just because of their age. It's really not what defines us as people, any more than our skin colour or hair colour does.

If two adults fall in love, and have both an emotional and physical attraction to each other, then go for it I say! If there's real love there, then the difficulties posed by a big age gap can be over-come.

That said - there is a price to pay for a big age gap, the likelihood of the younger partner being a widower early in life is much higher if you have a large age gap, and growing old together is unlikely. I have an aunt who married an older man, and when he died in his 60s she was in her 30s and it destroyed her - that was over a decade ago, she is still in a deep depression that has crippled her.

We also all change and mature as we go through life, so people at very different stages of life to each other are going through very different things, and it can be very hard for the two partners to understand each other. Think about all those disagreements you have with your parents and your grand parents, they don't happen because you don't love each other, they happen because people from different times and at different ages think differently.

I don't think successful couples with large age gaps are rare because society hates them, I think society is not too hot on the idea because it doesn't work out so well much of the time.

I think it's fair to say that on average, large ages gaps are more likely not to work out, but fuck averages, we are all individuals, and if you fall in love with someone of a different age, and you think you can make it work, go for it! No one is exactly average, and even if the odds are against it working out, they are just odds, and they can be beaten!

B.

 

[Behrluvr]

I dislike any fixation on age, or race, or other irrelevancies.

I find some people's fetish for specifically having sex with someone significantly older than themselves to be almost as annoying as when they reject someone purely because of age. .

Better stop hanging on GayHeaven then, I'd estimate 3/4 or the vid postings are of twinks, (including Asian and black twinks). If age fixation is troublesome to you I expect the number of twink vids, postings and comments here on GH must drive you nuts.

 

[Behrluvr]

.....there is a price to pay for a big age gap, the likelihood of the younger partner being a widower early in life is much higher if you have a large age gap, and growing old together is unlikely. ....

.

I gotta chuckle there. What's the divorce rate in the str8 world? 50%? 75%?
What is the average relationship length in the gay world? 6 months? 1 year? How many gay guys stay together 5 years?

I wouldn't worry about growing old together. I'd worry more about staying together 'till the end of the summer.

Ha! We used to chuckle over folks like Gsa Gsa Gabor and 'Liz Taylor with their 6 or 7 or 8 or more marriages. In reality they were just pioneers. Compared to modern lifestyles, Henry the 8th was a hacker. I'm going to my sis's wedding this July, its her 4th. Heyheyhey...:rofl:

 

[gb2000ie]

I gotta chuckle there. What's the divorce rate in the str8 world? 50%? 75%?
What is the average relationship length in the gay world? 6 months? 1 year? How many gay guys stay together 5 years?

I wouldn't worry about growing old together. I'd worry more about staying together 'till the end of the summer.

Ha! We used to chuckle over folks like Gsa Gsa Gabor and 'Liz Taylor with their 6 or 7 or 8 or more marriages. In reality they were just pioneers. Compared to modern lifestyles, Henry the 8th was a hacker. I'm going to my sis's wedding this July, its her 4th. Heyheyhey...:rofl:

I think you may be confusing the USA for the whole world. The divorce rate is not so high everywhere, and even in the gay community many value loving long term relationships every bit as much as straight people have for generations.

It is sad that the gay scene is full of shallow fickle people, but it's a mistake to confuse the vocal minority of the gay scene for the majority of the gay community.

I know a lot of people on these boards are in long-term stable relationships, and more are looking for just that. Don't let stereotypes blind you.

B.

 

[hawtsean]

Better stop hanging on GayHeaven then, I'd estimate 3/4 or the vid postings are of twinks, (including Asian and black twinks). If age fixation is troublesome to you I expect the number of twink vids, postings and comments here on GH must drive you nuts.

I'm not sure of that number, but I agree that a good number of participants here would qualify as twinks. That hasn't stopped either you or I from posting, has it? No reason that anyone else should leave. Of course, one must have realistic expectations if attempting to hook up online.

 

[Behrluvr]

I'm not sure of that number, but I agree that a good number of participants here would qualify as twinks. That hasn't stopped either you or I from posting, has it? No reason that anyone else should leave. Of course, one must have realistic expectations if attempting to hook up online.

True, agree, however I was taking issue with the poster who was expressing his opinion that Daddy/boy and / or Topson/ bottomdaddy fantasy porn made him uneasy. I was pointing out that many of the people here on GH are looking strictly for twink vids and pics who are not themselves twinks.

Is there a difference between Daddy/son fun in the fantasy world of commercial porn, and guys here on GH who are only interested in vids of twinks? If someone feels uncomfortable watching Arpad Miklos ream out Zack Randall, then shouldn't they themselves feel uneasy looking at vids of blond,smooth, 19yo Abercrombie clones?

 

[Behrluvr]

I think you may be confusing the USA for the whole world. The divorce rate is not so high everywhere, and even in the gay community many value loving long term relationships every bit as much as straight people have for generations.

Probably because women in the USA have a tremendous amount of freedom and resources which women in other cultures lack. American women have an education, their own career, often plenty of money. Nothing keeps an American woman married if she doesn't want to be.

Contrast that to married women in Islamic, or African, or South American or even Asian countries. Those women are often little more than unpaid servants, often slaves. My bud just got back from Bangkok where he lives most of the year. He told me he was with a bar girl at his place and he had to take a dump. The girl unwrapped some paper and was going to wipe his butt for him. Somehow I don't think that would ever happen in the USA.

I know a lot of people on these boards are in long-term stable relationships, and more are looking for just that. Don't let stereotypes blind you.

B.

I'm going to wager a guess that those you refer to are the minority. Otherwise why are the nightclubs jam packed ? And with all mannner of gay men not just unattached 20somethings. Peruse cr@iglist or Manhunt or any of the cruise webs. The listings change faster than you can blink. Oten times as not its guys with boyfriends too.

 

[Okada Hiroki]

Age is a number, but i'd prefer to be with someone who are older 5 years-or-so, OR with someone who are younger 5 years-or-so

Because maturity does come in a person's age.

 

[gb2000ie]

Probably because women in the USA have a tremendous amount of freedom and resources which women in other cultures lack. American women have an education, their own career, often plenty of money. Nothing keeps an American woman married if she doesn't want to be.

I don't even know where to begin with this ignorant tripe. You think the US has a monopoly on freedom? You think only women end relationships? You think only women are the victims in abusive relationships?

I could go on, but I really don't know if you're just uninformed, or if you're trying to be as insulting as you can to try to trigger a fight?

Contrast that to married women in Islamic, or African, or South American or even Asian countries. Those women are often little more than unpaid servants, often slaves. My bud just got back from Bangkok where he lives most of the year. He told me he was with a bar girl at his place and he had to take a dump. The girl unwrapped some paper and was going to wipe his butt for him. Somehow I don't think that would ever happen in the USA.

I see - so in your mind the world is broken into the US and backwards misogynistic nations? Ever hear of Europe? We certainly do have divorce, but nowhere near half, and many people here greatly value stable loving relationships, and I'm not just talking straight people.

I'm going to wager a guess that those you refer to are the minority. Otherwise why are the nightclubs jam packed ? And with all mannner of gay men not just unattached 20somethings. Peruse cr@iglist or Manhunt or any of the cruise webs. The listings change faster than you can blink. Oten times as not its guys with boyfriends too.

So you think everyone goes to night clubs? All the things you describe do happen, but that does not mean there is not a silent majority trying to find Mr. or Mrs. right and built a life together.

I think you live a very blinkered life, and extrapolate far too much from your life and your direct surroundings.

Love is not dead, and everyone is not out for a one night stand.

B.

 

[Casanova]

Probably because women in the USA have a tremendous amount of freedom and resources which women in other cultures lack. American women have an education, their own career, often plenty of money. Nothing keeps an American woman married if she doesn't want to be.

Contrast that to married women in Islamic, or African, or South American or even Asian countries. Those women are often little more than unpaid servants, often slaves. My bud just got back from Bangkok where he lives most of the year. He told me he was with a bar girl at his place and he had to take a dump. The girl unwrapped some paper and was going to wipe his butt for him. Somehow I don't think that would ever happen in the USA.

I'm going to wager a guess that those you refer to are the minority. Otherwise why are the nightclubs jam packed ? And with all mannner of gay men not just unattached 20somethings. Peruse cr@iglist or Manhunt or any of the cruise webs. The listings change faster than you can blink. Oten times as not its guys with boyfriends too.

I generally enjoy lots of your posts but I have to disagree with you on this note. It's common knowledge that people in Europe are more liberal than those in the US, and the divorce rate here still isn't quite as high! Heck! Even in Canada, Scandinavia, Australia, New Zealand the divorce rate isn't as high.

Another misconception is that Asian countries don't have high divorce rate - you should look up the statistics some time, you'd be surprised! You mentioned Bangkok. If I can remember quite well, Thailand is in the list of the top 35 countries with the highest divorce rate.

And as for the gay clubs, I'm in a LTR and visit gay clubs with my partner whenever we feel the need to get out and about (of course not as much cuz i swear we're like an old pensionable couple) but when I consider my gay friends, only one of them isn't in a relationship and the others have been in relationships 3 years or more. On the other hand, you are right about a lot of gay men not maintaining long term relationships very well, but the numbers vary according the countries and cultures.

PS. How many guys on online dating sites are actually single? Maybe I was just unlucky when I was on Gaydar, but quite a good bit of the guys I met were in relationships and wanted a shag buddy or wanted someone to have a quick wank with on webcam. But then it could just be my bad luck lol

 

[lhardwick69]

the thing about falling in love with someone is to be with that for for no matter what reason --his differences likes and dislikes and his age--sure he might be older or younger but the yrs you have together until one or the other passes away is more treasured--live with each other learn from one another and mourn for one another when one passes away--you cant go around worrying about death all the time no one can get away from it no matter how mucch money you have--love is unconditional

 

[Minos]

personally i don`t mind dating an older guy, not really. but i rather date someone as old as i am, because i`ve always wanted to "build" something together with somebody my age. I guess it`d be more logical to grow old together instead of seeing your partner getting older than you quicker. IMO that could be unbearable at some point. Just my thoughts, but always got along with older guys better than guys my age.

 

[Behrluvr]

I don't even know where to begin with this ignorant tripe. You think the US has a monopoly on freedom? You think only women end relationships? You think only women are the victims in abusive relationships?

.
.
Lets see.

1. Can a woman drive a car in Saudia Arabia? ride a bicycle? sit in front of the bus (sheesh we Americans allowed blacks to sit in the front of the bus 60 years ago, Saudi women don't have that right.)
2. How many wives did Osama Bin Laden have?
3. Could one of bin Laden's wives even talk with another man (and live?)
4. How many Egyptian women were subjected to virginity tests who took part int the recent democratic revolution?
5. Can an uncovered unescorted woman walk around in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Arabia,Oman, Yemen, Jordan, etc
6. Can women in arabic countries travel abroad without their husband's permission?
7. are Western women subjected to forced clitorectomies at age 13 without anesthesia under unsanitary conditions by the village barber with gardening shears?
8. How many western women are routinely beaten by their husbands as a way of life and totally accept it as normal?
9. How many Chinese girl infants have been killed by infanticide - due to 1 child rule.
10. Any western countries enforce a 1 child rule?
11. Were any Western women ever cremated alive with their deceased husbands as once was common in India?
12. Any American women burned alive because their dowry's aren't big enough? Does any American woman pay a dowry?
13. Any western women killed by honor killing as is common/routine in the Middle east and Asia? (and now in the UK as it transitions into a Sharia vassal state.)
14. Do western women do all the work while the men have all the leisure as is common in SE Asia, even to the point of wiping the man's butt?
15. One last thing, I'm a little saddened that the Chinese outlawed foot binding. I thought those little 3 inch shoes most Chinese women had were quaint. Even though to get a 3 inch foot required years of pain, disfigurement and crippling. It sure was a cute shoe they wore
    

I'm only getting warmed up, I got a million more if you want me to post 'em. So to answer your question. Yes , compared to the barbaric practices still common throughout the rest of the world (including the UK now as it becomes more Islamic) the US is a shining light and bastion of women's freedom.