Crushed

[AleXXX UK]

Last Friday after work had a few drinks and kissed someone some I thought was my soulmate. It was taken well at the time. Today. Awkward. Silence. Im speechless. Crushed. There's no way I can confront this issue.

 

[herod]

What happened?

 

[AleXXX UK]

Where do I begin? I thought I had found the one. I'm so crushed. I've not had my heart broken in a long time. Posting this from my cellphone in a bar so ill be brief.

Someone who I've worked with for months, giving me every sign, we had so much chemistry, I would have done ANYTHING for. It got more and more intense over the last few weeks. On Friday we hit the bar, I had a few drinks. We kissed. It was magic . I was on a high all weekend. Secretly I was planning how we'd take it from there, marriage, kids, moving in together , meeting the parents. Hmmmm

Today. Silence. No eye contact.

 

[AleXXX UK]

He was the only person I've met in the last 10yrs I thought I was someone I would do anything for and give up everything for. I'm normally very strong but I just want to go home and cry.

 

[AleXXX UK]

On the other hand I feel angry, rejected and want to have a fling with someone else to get this outta my system. I feel duped.

 

[jw4833]

On the other hand I feel angry, rejected and want to have a fling with someone else to get this outta my system. I feel duped.

Well, from reading your responses on this topic, it appears to be a couple of things and this is just my opinion..First of all, it could be that this guy is running scared. You have those guys who are fine with a situation until it starts to move to another level and then they get scared to the fact of can they be what you consider them to be in a relationship or if they are looking for a relationship period. Second, once you start to notice signs of chemistry between the two of you, maybe you should have brought this up in conversation to see actually if you two were on the same page.

The advice that I would give you is to not to feel rejected or crushed until you've had a one on one conversation with him to see exactly what's up with him. Never assume something that you do not have any concrete proof on. Good luck, it will all work out buddy...I am here for you ....JW:big hug:

 

[AleXXX UK]

I'm not having any one on one. We have nothing to discuss. We're just going to get on with our work and carry on as if nothing happened. I feel very angry because I was given so many signs and I had no reason think this wasn't what I thought it was.

I've been thinking is this person really the one or is it just me? I feel in the last few months much more able to connect with people. I wonder whether its just that I'm at a point in my life where I feel the need to settle down. Before this year I never really felt that. Maybe he just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

It's so strange because I really felt I knew him and we had a connection. He used to boss me around and I used to really love. We're opposite in some ways but in a very complimentary way, like we complete each other. Now I feel some kinda pervert molester.

I'm just really angry right now. I didn't deserve this and if he's confused then he should have dealt with that before leading me on. I'm going to forget any of this ever happened and put it all behind me.

 

[herod]

I'm not having any one on one. We have nothing to discuss. We're just going to get on with our work and carry on as if nothing happened. I feel very angry because I was given so many signs and I had no reason think this wasn't what I thought it was.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.Will he ever tell you what happened?

 

[js324]

I'm sure he'll talk to you if you're both alone. Follow him into the employees lounge when no one else is there and either let him bring it up, or don't even mention it but just ask him if he'd like to go out for drinks again

 

[c750dt]

Sounds like he's either nervous or confused. Maybe he's thinking similar thoughts to you; maybe he's waiting for you to say or do something. Then again, he might also some time and space.

 

[AleXXX UK]

Sounds like he's either nervous or confused. Maybe he's thinking similar thoughts to you; maybe he's waiting for you to say or do something. Then again, he might also some time and space.

I don't know and I don't care any more!

The worst thing, the bastard doesn't even have the balls to tell me there is even a problem. I have been made to feel like a disgusting rapist. I will never be able to able to forgive him for that.

So many many fish in the sea and I put myself through this for something like that!

 

[AleXXX UK]

I'm sure he'll talk to you if you're both alone. Follow him into the employees lounge when no one else is there and either let him bring it up, or don't even mention it but just ask him if he'd like to go out for drinks again

No. We have had moments alone and in the kitchen. Forced, awkward conversations and no eye contact. I am the most confrontational person I know and this guy I cannot deal with. I went out of my way to be nice with everyone else. If he wants to be miserable and alone fine. I'm not interested and I'm getting on with my life.

 

[c750dt]

^Then why was this even brought up? Because neither of you made a move, suddenly love has turned to hate. Such a tragedy.

 

[7skies]

sometimes people grow apart. meet some new people and, whatever happens, at least you moved forward with your life. sometimes, people need to see someone else interested in you, otherwise, they take you for granted. jmo.

good luck.
feel better

 

[AleXXX UK]

We had a bit of a change in dynamic. Unfortunately he sits next to me so it's awkward. He tried to talk to me today but I just shushed him. Not interested. If had something to communicate across to me then he can email me. Went out of my way to be nice to everyone else today. See how he likes that. Anyway I'm already over this.

 

[AleXXX UK]

This is becoming a soap so here's today's episode.

So I'm sat next to 'C' and communicating via emails and post it notes. It was just awkward and there is an atmosphere but no one else knows.

We have had a big of a major win on a deal so we're going out tomorrow to celebrate. We were considering where to go for lunch and then some other guy pops over and starts talking to me about choices. I said I'm not really a connoisseur and I'd be happy with even with a subway sandwich. So C just suddenly rolls his eyes and huffs out loud. So my other colleague said 'oh C knows all the best places'. C then bursts into conversation and I find myself suddenly joining in and the three of us are talking. Suddenly the other guy walks away leaving me and C talking. The weird thing is, we are talking like nothing at all happened, like someone turned the clock back 7 days.

 

[AleXXX UK]

You have every rights to be angry, normally I would come in saying nice stuff like try to understand him and all, but I have to go with you on that one. Before Alex I had some bout with some guys which ended up pretty much similar to what you had with this dude. As decent dude that we are we always going to question ourselves first, trying to find where we got wrong, but sometimes it's just not us, and I believe that the dude should have think twice before playing with someone's feeling like he did. If he wasn't ready he should have just voiced it out and I am sure you would have understand and went slow. But no too many dudes or dudettes have no fucking idea of what they want. They meet someone who knows where he's going and want and they get scared or confuse. Well off with their heads, feelings are not to be played with period.

The dude that I had before Alex is now trying to befriend us because he now see what he missed but I don't need those people around me, and neither do you. Let him soak in his confusing soup, once he had swallow enough of that juice he should work on growing some balls and stop being scared.

I was on the highest high this weekend. I come in on Monday, get the silent treatment and I spend the whole morning stressing that at any second I'm gonna be called in by HR for sexual harassment. Nothing was said and he just plugged in his ipod in to blank me out.

Why not have the balls to talk to me and tell me what if anything I did wrong? Fine, set your boundaries and I will respect them.

Yesterday at the end of the day, my boss whispered that he wanted to have a quiet word in his office, I actually thought I was gonna fired. Instead he told me that my deal was so appreciated the company wanted to take us out for lunch at a trendy restaurant. That's how paranoid I was. I was made to feel like a rapist. That I will not get over easily. Honestly I hadn't felt this close to anyone else for a very long time so I am completely heart broken. I was given the green light, I know it he knows it. However it's gone all horribly wrong.

Today, Thursday, day 4, he was trying to be nice but I'm really hurt. I'm angry. Confused. I could be mean and it would feel good but hurt at the same time. What's so scary is that when we did make eye contact the first time today and he was having his little diva moment it did still melt my heart and those loving feelings came rushing back into my heart but my head suddenly kicked in the breaks.

Now I feel a little like the bitter bad guy. I just know, despite all this bullshit, we could be together and I could put up with everything. I'm confused. If he did try to make amends like a man rather than the prissy little diva he is then I'd still tell the little bastard to fuck off.

I don't know how this will pan out but I'm firmly on the market for other 'opportunities'. I don't owe this little princess a thing.

 

[herod]

Keep us posted

 

[haskosept]

I wonder what's the sit. now

 

[AleXXX UK]

I wonder what's the sit. now

Not too interesting. I still sit next to him. Pretty much after the week from hell something must have happened and I think he may have got talking to one of the girls who must have told him about my feelings (pre-kissgate). The next week he's as sweet as pie. However I don't care. I hate the bastard. I don't look at it, I don't talk to it. I try to erase my feelings, try not to think about it and I bully it at every opportunity and i admit I'm being a total bitch. Somehow I was hoping it would drive him away but no, he keeps coming back for more. Tomorrow its Burrito Friday and ill invite everyone else out for lunch except him.