how do u know that u are gay, lesbian or bi?

[tyan]

hello there my fellow, just asking here, how do you know that you are gay, lesbian or bi?

me,
i think it was on elementary school, when people talking about "naked girl" on the xxx magazine and they borrow the "adult story" about a women who discover sex with her bodyguard, i just know "hey, whats wrong with me".
i have no reaction with the picture of naked girl, i only think she's pretty and cute. my friend talking so much and they reaction like an ants found a sugar.

after that, i try to read that magazine at home, i read, but nothing special, i heard my friend get masturbation after read and see that magazine, but not for me,


so after junior high school i found my self attract to same sex, i was on the pool with my friend, he has a great body and also so handsome, and guess what, its my first time "i turn on" with a man.

i still confuse, actually till now i still confuse with "what am i", and "what i want?". but on senior high school i found my self attract to women, and till now i still attract with both woman or man. but still confuse with "who am i.

:worried:

 

[jw4833]

You sound like someone who is still struggling with his sexual identity with a possibility of settling for being bisexual. I know when I was going through what you are now enduring, I was a senior in high school and had a steady girlfriend. And although I did not act on those feelings at the time, as I had mentioned in one of my earlier post on this subject matter, I was in the company of a couple of high school guys who approached me sexually and yet, inside, I felt fireworks but did not reveal those feelings.

For me, it wasn't until I was 20 when I had sexual contact with another man which resulted in him being my first boyfriend. Nonetheless, I have met guys over the years who were in the same predicament as yourself. From what you've stated in your post, I can honestly say that you are suppressing your feelings for men and trying to over ride them with conflicting attraction for women because you feel that is what considered to be appropriate. However, in the long run, it will work itself out and you will not have to ask that question "Who Am I?" because at that time, you will be comfortable in your own skin to accept and embrace your sexuality.

 

[tyan]

You sound like someone who is still struggling with his sexual identity with a possibility of settling for being bisexual. I know when I was going through what you are now enduring, I was a senior in high school and had a steady girlfriend. And although I did not act on those feelings at the time, as I had mentioned in one of my earlier post on this subject matter, I was in the company of a couple of high school guys who approached me sexually and yet, inside, I felt fireworks but did not reveal those feelings.

For me, it wasn't until I was 20 when I had sexual contact with another man which resulted in him being my first boyfriend. Nonetheless, I have met guys over the years who were in the same predicament as yourself. From what you've stated in your post, I can honestly say that you are suppressing your feelings for men and trying to over ride them with conflicting attraction for women because you feel that is what considered to be appropriate. However, in the long run, it will work itself out and you will not have to ask that question "Who Am I?" because at that time, you will be comfortable in your own skin to accept and embrace your sexuality.

yes i do, thank u so much.


its kind a hard to "choose identity" in my country. u know, a family, friend, people will react so bad if u "choose that one".
i'am 24 years old, i have a girlfriend, and my family and friend keep ask me "when u get married?", "what are you waiting for?", and many mire. but somewhere deep down my heart, i just asking "what will be if i married, do i can make this married happy as heaven, or going down like hell, or i can keep silent till death with "my identity", pretend to be a another man.


thanks man, i wish i could tell everyone who am i, and what am i, someday.

:big hug:

 

[tonka]

And your girlfriend? Doesn't she deserve someone who thinks she is the one, and not a cover?
I had a good friend who had a girlfriend for ten years. She loved him...he was secretly gay. He eventually moved away and started over. She really never got over him.

 

[jw4833]

yes i do, thank u so much.


its kind a hard to "choose identity" in my country. u know, a family, friend, people will react so bad if u "choose that one".
i'am 24 years old, i have a girlfriend, and my family and friend keep ask me "when u get married?", "what are you waiting for?", and many mire. but somewhere deep down my heart, i just asking "what will be if i married, do i can make this married happy as heaven, or going down like hell, or i can keep silent till death with "my identity", pretend to be a another man.


thanks man, i wish i could tell everyone who am i, and what am i, someday.

:big hug:

You know, I kind of figured that the family/friends/people thing was what you are having difficulties with. I went through that as well once upon a time. However, as I said earlier, when you become comfortable in your own skin and get to the point where you can accept and embrace your own sexuality, then this is when you will not have concerns over what others may think and you will not focus on doing what pleases them. You will put your primary focus on your happiness. However, I can't tell you when and what to do...this is something that will come in time, but it starts with you accepting YOU!!!! and on your own terms..from that point on, things will fall into place and those who really love you for you, will follow suit...God Bless, Take Care, JW:cheers:

 

[jw4833]

And your girlfriend? Doesn't she deserve someone who thinks she is the one, and not a cover?
I had a good friend who had a girlfriend for ten years. She loved him...he was secretly gay. He eventually moved away and started over. She really never got over him.

I also had a friend who has been married for twenty years (he got married when he was 21 years old to the same woman) and to this day, he goes to California on a yearly basis and meet up with my cousin and hook up with guys at the bath houses, clubs, etc. He visits last for a couple of weeks and then he goes home and live his "straight" life. This does bothers me because I hate the fact that guys who are struggling with their sexuality goes to the extreme of living a "superficial" life and put someone in their situation who does not deserve to be subjected to their conflicting behavior. I feel sorry for the women because they are in love with what they see as being the "ideal man" and once they discovered their man's secret life, they are hurt and feel betrayed. This is just my opinion, but I could never put someone through that.

 

[tyan]

And your girlfriend? Doesn't she deserve someone who thinks she is the one, and not a cover?
I had a good friend who had a girlfriend for ten years. She loved him...he was secretly gay. He eventually moved away and started over. She really never got over him.

sadly yes, she's deserve to get a perfect man.
as u need to know, many gay people in my country had a "2nd live", i mean many gay people here married, but have secret live out there.

thank u so much, i really appreciated this one.
:big hug:

 

[tyan]

You know, I kind of figured that the family/friends/people thing was what you are having difficulties with. I went through that as well once upon a time. However, as I said earlier, when you become comfortable in your own skin and get to the point where you can accept and embrace your own sexuality, then this is when you will not have concerns over what others may think and you will not focus on doing what pleases them. You will put your primary focus on your happiness. However, I can't tell you when and what to do...this is something that will come in time, but it starts with you accepting YOU!!!! and on your own terms..from that point on, things will fall into place and those who really love you for you, will follow suit...God Bless, Take Care, JW:cheers:

yeah i think so, i must proud as who i am. thanks man


this really great. i have a clear mind now. thank you so much
:big hug:

 

[suchat13]

When I close to my friend (man) I feel good, warm and my cock is Hard.

 

[tyan]

When I close to my friend (man) I feel good, warm and my cock is Hard.

well goof for u

sometimes i fell the same, :blushing:
but i think friend more important than sex. so i never trying to "that close" with my friend

 

[alexfot55]

Big fuss for nothing.Do you really feel the need to label yourself?

 

[noone88]

You just know... You know I don't go with "Oh I don't know if I'm gay, lesbian, bi or etc"... YOU FUCKING KNOW what you like and what you want. NOW your questions should be how do you accept it for yourself, how would you tell others (do you wanna tell others) what are your personal boundaries... those are more important in my opinion than labeling oneself gay, bisex or lesbian.

Good now you know you love dude, or both... now what's next? Tell you mom, tell your friends, tell no one and live a double life (down low), go crazy and end up killing yourself? There's so much more than the etiquette.

Yeah, I was just gonna say the same but you wrote it better lol. In a nutshell; you just know, it's more a question of accepting it.

 

[noone88]

I tend to get very annoyed with those confusing question, because deep inside nobody is really sexually confused, they are SOCIALLY CONFUSED which is totally different, since sexually they know what they want, whether it is with a guy or a girl or both... what confuse them isn't the part where they actually do it with a dude or a girl, it's the social guilt they feel. Society says that being gay is wrong so it does go in your brain and although one enjoy having sex with guys or girls or both they are going into a guilt trip and get confused over a social definition of what they really are into.

What about the straight guys who are "bi curious" so to say? I'll give a quick example: I have/had a straight friend who said that "I think I'm bi-curious" and I very well knew where that line would go. Well after a few hours he just said "can I give you a BJ?" and there we went . He doesn't live in the same city as me so we haven't seen each other after that. Oh and he went into a relationship with a girl 1-2 months after that incident. I still don't know what to think of the whole thing to be honest. It's just feels somewhat odd that someone who thinks himself straight has to go this far just to see if he likes guys or not. I don't know if this whole post has a point but maybe it's somewhere.

Seems that I stole the OP's post but whatever, this was a perfect moment to post this one imo since the whole thing has somewhat baffled me. I just would like to know what he was thinking. We haven't really talked about it afterwards.

 

[Sinnerr]

I'm gay and know it very simply - I'm sexually aroused by males only.

 

[invaguy]

The first time you take gym and they have open showers. That will usually give a pretty good clue.

 

[Irishman25]

How do i know im gay??

well i moan at hawt guys in the street and watch a lot of gay porn and i mean a LOT
but i think the biggest giveaway is the fact i have sex with other men lol and i do love the sex with other men.. LMAO

 

[sjm0911]

my dick goes up when I look at guys and stays down for girls. Thats one way to know

 

[tyan]

^^^^^
thank u guys for share in here.

i trying to be more "open" for who i am, and what i am. but its so scare when i face my family and friend. actually they still have no idea about what i am
:blushing:

Big fuss for nothing.Do you really feel the need to label yourself?

hmm no, not really

thank u so much

 

[Quietus666]

I never ever thought about having anything more with a woman than friendhship. I know I'm gay because I love guys, I am sexually aroused by guys, I dream about guys and I want to have a loving boyfriend more than anything in the world.
Even though guys are the ones who can make me incredibly mad, I love them. Can't live with them, but can't live without them either.

 

[peter123]

Pls. don't tend to paint black and white, there are also much facets in between.