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How to come out...
- Thread starter alex123
- Start date
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan,... how did we get to an LGBTQ phobic society when we have always been a part of nature, we are not the only same sex mating species by far...
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan
Michael's Coming Out Letter from More Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
I have always treasured this and I am posting it here so it might inspire a new generation.
There are parallel stories here - one is fiction, the other non-fiction. The fiction comes from the daily newspaper serial story that a young Armistead Maupin wrote every weekday in the San Francisco Chronicle. (These stories were gathered together in the books Tales of the City and More Tales of the City.
More Tales of the City
It's the late 70s and Michael (nicknamed "Mouse) is a young gay man in San Francisco. We have followed his friends and adventures over a couple of years, but at various points we are reminded that he has never told his parents back in Orlando Florida that he is gay.
But now Anita Bryant is crusading in Florida to overturn gay rights, and he has heard from his parents about what that nice lady on the orange juice commercials is doing for the good Christian people of their state.
Mouse realizes that he can't put this off any longer and he has to let his parents know that he is one of the people that Ms. Bryant is condeming. So, at long last he writes his letter back home.
Art Imitates Life
In real life, Armistead Maupin hadn't come out to his parents, either. His father was politically powerful in North Carolina, and a card-carrying KKK member. Maupin has spent most of his life trying to please him and live up to expectations, including volunteering for Vietnam and choosing dangerous missions.
But he knew that his parents read his columns in the paper, and that he couldn't write Mouse's letter without exposing himself. So, two weeks before the letter would appear in fiction, he sent it to his parents. It was the same letter.
Ian McKellan reads Michael's Coming Out Letter
The Letter
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan,... how did we get to an LGBTQ phobic society when we have always been a part of nature, we are not the only same sex mating species by far...
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan
I love the communicative strength of Ian McKellan
Michael's Coming Out Letter from More Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
I have always treasured this and I am posting it here so it might inspire a new generation.
There are parallel stories here - one is fiction, the other non-fiction. The fiction comes from the daily newspaper serial story that a young Armistead Maupin wrote every weekday in the San Francisco Chronicle. (These stories were gathered together in the books Tales of the City and More Tales of the City.
More Tales of the City
It's the late 70s and Michael (nicknamed "Mouse) is a young gay man in San Francisco. We have followed his friends and adventures over a couple of years, but at various points we are reminded that he has never told his parents back in Orlando Florida that he is gay.
But now Anita Bryant is crusading in Florida to overturn gay rights, and he has heard from his parents about what that nice lady on the orange juice commercials is doing for the good Christian people of their state.
Mouse realizes that he can't put this off any longer and he has to let his parents know that he is one of the people that Ms. Bryant is condeming. So, at long last he writes his letter back home.
Art Imitates Life
In real life, Armistead Maupin hadn't come out to his parents, either. His father was politically powerful in North Carolina, and a card-carrying KKK member. Maupin has spent most of his life trying to please him and live up to expectations, including volunteering for Vietnam and choosing dangerous missions.
But he knew that his parents read his columns in the paper, and that he couldn't write Mouse's letter without exposing himself. So, two weeks before the letter would appear in fiction, he sent it to his parents. It was the same letter.
Ian McKellan reads Michael's Coming Out Letter
The Letter
You are not alone in having those similar thoughts that many of us have had, I was suffering as a result of dread & isolation... & in the end that was worse than comming out to my family. My father who always seemed to have had homophobic views did a complete turn around, but my mother who had always seemed the compassionate one was not at all positive, I could not have predicted that!
You dont have to come out, but when you talk of a ruined life I wonder if you are able to live freely enough in secret, if not that is a high price.
Very Best Wishesxxxxxxx
Shelter
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May I ask you why not???? Don't feel forced to answer this question. But you are not any more a teen - so why not? :thinking::big hug:
Josh morgan
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Was hard people understood though
First two my friends - they gave me always support and love.
Second to my sister - she always assumed.
Third to my dad - he always feared.
That was in the 1980s, now I am out and proud.
Life after coming out is always better; it makes us stronger.
Second to my sister - she always assumed.
Third to my dad - he always feared.
That was in the 1980s, now I am out and proud.
Life after coming out is always better; it makes us stronger.
) good luck and stay safeThe only people I've come out to are my siblings. I wasn't planning to come out to them when I did but I was super drunk and we were having really deep, drunkenly, conversations and I "accidentally" came out to them. After that my bond with them just became stronger. Although I don't recommend it, and it definitely has to be to the right people, if you're too afraid to come out to someone try doing something that will take your defenses down and come out, it definitely made it easier.
topdog
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If you have acknowledged it yourself, then you are already on your way. Especially when there is so much pressure pushing you in the opposite direction, we are sometimes the last people to know.
The next step is to tell someone you trust. Just saying it out loud to someone else is a huge step, and puts the truth out there in the world. Take the rest at your own pace.
Read through this thread - there is lots of practical advice here. Welcome!
taylorj959
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Do you think it is every too late in life for someone to come out?
topdog
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No. In recent years we have seen celebrities like Joel Grey and Barry Manilow go public. It is never to late to decide to live the rest of your life with as much truth and as free as possible. In some senses, it’s easier. What have you got to lose? You’ve made it through some pretty scary times and survived. Fuck ‘em if they can’t deal with it. Get off my lawn.
i really never considered myself in the closet-- even in high school guys would pick on me and laugh--- they would grab their crotches and ask if i wanted to suck their dicks--others would would say bend over----i had actually found out that they knew i wasgay because rumors got around about me and another guy--
but i actually skipped school one day with a friend went to my place where we got caught by my mom as she got home early from work--needless to say she wasnt happy--but not because of me having sex with another guy but the fact i skipped school--so from then on--my entire family--friends all knew i was gay and were actually fine with it--i did lose a few friends but if they were my true friends they would still came to visit me
so to all those in the closet--some guys say it is about you that its about others around you--thats not true--you come out of the closet because you no longer want to hide who you are---no matter who you are you will have issues--losing friends and family members not approving of your lifestyle.and over time they adjust to it and work their way back into your life
one friend of mine came out to his parents the mom was ok with it his dad not as much--his dad saying his lifestyle will keep him from making it ahead in life but he told his dad if he did or didnt makes it ahead in his life that it was his life
but 1--do it for yourself and no one else
2--things will be rocky at first so dont expect it to be a smooth ride--
3-- be strong and brave because coming out is a huge thing in a gay persons life and no matter the outcome--ts a huge weight off our shoulders
but i actually skipped school one day with a friend went to my place where we got caught by my mom as she got home early from work--needless to say she wasnt happy--but not because of me having sex with another guy but the fact i skipped school--so from then on--my entire family--friends all knew i was gay and were actually fine with it--i did lose a few friends but if they were my true friends they would still came to visit me
so to all those in the closet--some guys say it is about you that its about others around you--thats not true--you come out of the closet because you no longer want to hide who you are---no matter who you are you will have issues--losing friends and family members not approving of your lifestyle.and over time they adjust to it and work their way back into your life
one friend of mine came out to his parents the mom was ok with it his dad not as much--his dad saying his lifestyle will keep him from making it ahead in life but he told his dad if he did or didnt makes it ahead in his life that it was his life
but 1--do it for yourself and no one else
2--things will be rocky at first so dont expect it to be a smooth ride--
3-- be strong and brave because coming out is a huge thing in a gay persons life and no matter the outcome--ts a huge weight off our shoulders
