I ruined everything

[Turtle2345]

I told him I can't be just a friend.

So now I'm back on my own in my fucked up life.

I can't do this. I only just managed 7 days how the hell can I manage 6 months or a year.

Edit: Does anybody have any good suggestions of music to listen to that will help with my emotion rollercoaster?

 

[jazzeven]

Maybe you can be his friends after taking a break. Love does not last forever. Actually in hindsight one usually wonders where it came from in the first place.

And it is like quitting smoking: it gets easier. The first days are the hardest, but at some point you think about it less and less.

Find something technical to fiddle with. Invent something. Wrap your mind around something else.

If you want to channel your sadness, try the Low album of David Bowie. If you need something more upbeat, perhaps Heartland by Owen Pallett. Also the solo piano works of Philip Glass can be good pacemakers for a mind trailing off when left unattended.

 

[Otage]

I told him I can't be just a friend.

So now I'm back on my own in my fucked up life.

I can't do this. I only just managed 7 days how the hell can I manage 6 months or a year.

Edit: Does anybody have any good suggestions of music to listen to that will help with my emotion rollercoaster?

Emotional rollercoaster, exactly. Feelings come and go. You have all ready had bit better days after your break-up, and there will be more.

Your life isn't fuckep up just because some one left from it. If he was the only good thing in your life, then what did you have to give him? Fix your fucked up life, become confident and loving towards yourself, then you will have smth to give. If you try to fix everything just with new love, well it's a medication, not the cure.

Read the thread again. Things you've said, now try to see them in different perspective or to get better view of things. Read the advices too. Read the other people experiences. People break up, but with out quitting smth that isn't good, you can't find happiness.

 

[Turtle2345]

Well I'm back at my dads this weekend and just had another chat with him and he advised me to just chat to each other at the end of the week like fri, sat and sun evenings and just see how that goes for now.

 

[Turtle2345]

He (ex-bf) has now said we can't be friends because that will just leave me clinging onto the relationship and hoping it will come back.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this. But I know now that I mustn't message him again so instead of messaging him I'm going to put what I want to say into a note on my phone.

 

[DBOL777]

sounds like you need a therapist to get over this nonsense...not a crying discussion thread here...PLEASE move on...or at least pm privately to anyone who actually wants to hear your rants...
I will give you a chance to make ONE final reply posting and then close this discussion...Perhaps you can search for another love among the more than 3 billion people on this planet...

 

[Shelter]

sounds like you need a therapist to get over this nonsense...not a crying discussion thread here...PLEASE move on...or at least pm privately to anyone who actually wants to hear your rants...
I will give you a chance to make ONE final reply posting and then close this discussion...Perhaps you can search for another love among the more than 3 billion people on this planet...

:agree::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree::agree:

 

[topdog]

...But I know now that I mustn't message him again so instead of messaging him I'm going to put what I want to say into a note on my phone.

That sounds like a good idea. Make sure you save these notes somewhere so you can look back on them later. You will notice how far you have come.

You will love again. Learn what you can from going through this experience. There will be a lot of other bumps ahead in your life and what you learn now about how to cope and move forward will help you in those times.

Wishing you the best ahead. TD

 

[Turtle2345]

Ok well then here goes my last reply.

I did what you suggested and emailed my counsellor/therapist again. She told me that im expecting too much of myself and i just give myself time to get through this. I cant expect to feel fine in a few days its gonna take weeks, months. She also said that i have to stop texting him because every time he replies its hurting me more and makes the healing process take longer. So she said that putting what i want to say him in a note instead of sending it to him is a very good idea. She also gave me two questions to ask him just to put my mind at ease:
Is this a separation to get some space and then discuss where we go from here?
Is this final and you no longer wish to be in this relationship with me?

To which he replied with:
I'm not planning on this being a temporary separation, I guess we could and discuss it in the future but I wasn't intending it to be temp

So she said thats my answer and now its time for me to cry and be kind to myself.

I just want to say thank you to you all for your replies i will definitely read through this thread again from the start in a few days and maybe other times when it gets hard.

If you are happy for me to PM you then please PM me and let me know (even if you have PMed me before just so that i know that you are still happy for me to PM you ).

Thank You