I wish you all a safe and happy Christmas as well. Unfortunately, since my partner passed a few years ago, I have never been in a Christmas mood the way I was when he was alive. To make matters worst, my mom passed away unexpectedly Friday afternoon. If I can just keep things real here without going into graphic detail, my mom and I as well as my remaining family members have had issues dealing with my being gay since I've came out the closet. Since then, I was never invited to family dinners, outings, birthdays, etc. My mom had felt that I was an embarrassment to the family as well as the rest of the family except my younger sister. Because of my close relationship with my younger sister, she was approached with a lot of ridicule and harassment for having a relationship with me. However, even after I suggested that we end our relationship because I did not want her to endure the repercussions, she stood strong and loved me unconditionally. There have been many times that I've tried to reach out to her in order to mend our relationship, but it did not go as I would have liked it to because each time I made this attempt, she did not meet me halfway and she made me feel as if she was a victim and I had to go out of my way to make the relationship right. My mom suffered a great deal with her health issues over the past few months and although we never made peace, I struggled immensely with the fact of going to her funeral next week because I will feel very uncomfortable being around relatives that I have not seen in years, yet knowing how they feel about me being gay. However, my sister wanted me to be there for her, and I prayed about this and now have a change of heart. In fact, I was asked by my sister to create and write the obituary which I even wrote a poem in her behalf which she and her husband loved. All in all, I am glad that my mom is not suffering anymore and she can now rest in peace, and out of respect for her bringing me into the world and being my mom, I will give her that respect by doing this and attending her funeral even though I am not comfortable but I feel its the right thing to do and with all that I've endured from her and my family over the years, this is my way of thanking her for treating me this way because their behavior had made me a very strong and wise individual who has learned to love himself and be proud of the man that he has become. So, don't cry for me Argentina, I am truly a survivor...Thanks to all who took time to read this, and please have a wonderful holiday and thank God for all the things that have been a blessing in your lives...