Penpals?

[deef]

Hi there!,

I registerd here long time ago and now I decided to write that thread. I wanna know some interesting and respectable people.
I`m probably bisexual or homosexual person and to be honest I`m not accept myself too much.
Maybe, I will find who can help me with it, who knows maybe I will find true friend! I hope so.

I`m 19 years old guy and I come from Europe. So if you interested, please write to me a private message.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Hi there!,

I registerd here long time ago and now I decided to write that thread. I wanna know some intersting and respectable people.
I`m probably bisexual or homosexual person and to be honest I`m not accept myself too much.
Maybe, I will find who can help me with it, who knows maybe I will find true friend! I hope so.

I`m 19 years old guy and I come from Europe. So if you interested, please write to me a private message.

Well Deef little dude, the first steps of finding great friends is to accept yourself and find your goal? You're bisexual or gay? There's a simple exercise you can do for that and it goes like this:

1. Sexually what is your preference?
2. Emotionally what is your preference?
3. Do you have any preferences?
4. Are you out to some friends/family?
5. Are you in a relationship right now and is it a dude or a dudette?
6. Have you had yet any sexual experiences with either (dudes or dudettes)?

Accepting yourself for who you are will definitely help you find great friends, because no one wants a drama queen, most people love when somebody knows what they are looking for. And that is most certainly true in the gay universe.:cheers:

 

[deef]

Hi! thanks for answer.

Sexually what is your preference?

Hm, I am feeling embarassed now, but I probably "like guys in that way". But it is only my "animal" nature. A few days ago I spoke with guy who is gay and he told me that homosexuality and bisexuality are deviation and a mental sickness. :worried:
I decided that I will never tell about it. It was hurtful for me.

Emotionally what is your preference?

I`m not sure. I prefered women in emotional way before, but now.. I think that I can be in the relationship with men..

Do you have any preferences?

I don`t know. I am scared because I am Christian. I keep hearning that homosexuality is a hard sin.

Are you out to some friends/family?

Oh my God! no! .They will kill me.

Are you in a relationship right now and is it a dude or a dudette?

Fortunately I am not, I am defending myself against relationships. But I don`t wanna be alone in the future..

Have you had yet any sexual experiences with either (dudes or dudettes)?

No I have not. Fortunately. I waiting for the proper person. Who will be love me above life. (I know! I am strange and I probably won`t find that person.)

 

[tonka]

You might want to become a reader of Andrew Sullivan's blog. He blogs at a site called the daily beast.
He mainly blogs about politics, but he's a Catholic and takes it seriously. He's gay, hiv positive, married to a man. British transplant to America. He's also written some books.

It might give you another perspective on being gay, Christian, and sexually active.

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Hm, I am feeling embarassed now, but I probably "like guys in that way". But it is only my "animal" nature. A few days ago I spoke with guy who is gay and he told me that homosexuality and bisexuality are deviation and a mental sickness. :worried:
I decided that I will never tell about it. It was hurtful for me.

So one person who believe that homosexuality is a deviation when himself is gay told you that and you believed him. He must be one of those guys from the Dr. Kinsey's research. Being gay doesn't remove the fact that you're a human being with desires and that those desires are what forms your identity. If he believe himself to be deviated that is its own problems and you should never refer or believe what a person like him said. He's in total denial and he won't be of any help to you.

I`m not sure. I prefered women in emotional way before, but now.. I think that I can be in the relationship with men..

I used to say that too when I was young to protect my own feelings, I have kids my friends, so socially speaking I did what was expected of me therefore I am free to do what ever I want. If the first thing you think of when dreaming about a relationship is to be with a guy, that is obvious that your preference lean toward guys. But it is to you to decide which side of the fence you'll take. Nobody can take that decision for you. No church, no parents, no friends. I am bisexual, but I am with a dude and I don't regret it, I lost friends on the road but hey that just prove to me that they were not real friends.

I don`t know. I am scared because I am Christian. I keep hearing that homosexuality is a hard sin.

Unfortunately here I can't help because I am a total atheist, so the bad views of a religious person toward my lifestyle doesn't do anything to me. I find them weird for loving something that I don't believe in and they believe that I'm weird for having feelings for guys. Although you'd be surprised how many Christians and/or religious are gay. God doesn't hate gays, Religion does. And the bible isn't the words of god, it is the words and beliefs of Paul, Matthew, Luke, Mark, which those four men are old archaic preachers for which their view is the pure truth. Sorry but even back in those days, they might have forget the age old game of little boys discovering each other behind the bushes. Would you really believe that they didn't do it? Or that they didn't like it. A sin is related to religion, therefore for me, because Religion is a sin in my book, I'm sinless.

Oh my God! no! .They will kill me.

Killing is a sin tell them that!

Fortunately I am not, I am defending myself against relationships. But I don`t wanna be alone in the future..

Really, then stop building fences around yourself.

No I have not. Fortunately. I waiting for the proper person. Who will be love me above life. (I know! I am strange and I probably won`t find that person.)

There is no such things as a proper person, because you will need first to discover yourself and find out how proper you are yourself. Relationship or sex is a two sided arrow... what do you consider as being proper and do you believe you'd be proper for the other person. For me you wouldn't because you're religious, but I could be proper to you for whatever your reasons of what makes a person proper:cheers:

At last, Deef, you have a long way to go in the road of finding yourself... find that first and things will just follow the current. Just remember, people have walk on your path before, just like you they were scared, just like you they were questioning themselves, many have succeed, few are feeding the worms off their inanimate body. You don't want to get there

 

[deef]

You might want to become a reader of Andrew Sullivan's blog. He blogs at a site called the daily beast.
He mainly blogs about politics, but he's a Catholic and takes it seriously. He's gay, hiv positive, married to a man. British transplant to America. He's also written some books.

It might give you another perspective on being gay, Christian, and sexually active.

Oh my! I don`t know about him. Yes being gay is not probably more worse than being straight, but I still feeling like someone other of human population, like someone inferior.

If he believe himself to be deviated that is its own problems and you should never refer or believe what a person like him said. He's in total denial and he won't be of any help to you.

Yes I agree with you but definetly he has a problem with coming out. I feel sorry for him, I can not look on somebody who suffering... He told me really pervert things about LGTB. He was rude...

I used to say that too when I was young to protect my own feelings, I have kids my friends, so socially speaking I did what was expected of me therefore I am free to do what ever I want. If the first thing you think of when dreaming about a relationship is to be with a guy, that is obvious that your preference lean toward guys. But it is to you to decide which side of the fence you'll take. Nobody can take that decision for you. No church, no parents, no friends. I am bisexual, but I am with a dude and I don't regret it, I lost friends on the road but hey that just prove to me that they were not real friends.

Oh, I am so so sorry for you. It is a such difficult thing, personally I do not think that coming out is a way out of current situation, you know I going into university so I totally depend on my parents. When they will find out that I am bi/gay person they probably will hate me and they will not support me. I need their feelings for me. I love them but, I am so scared that they will not accept me.

Unfortunately here I can't help because I am a total atheist, so the bad views of a religious person toward my lifestyle doesn't do anything to me. I find them weird for loving something that I don't believe in and they believe that I'm weird for having feelings for guys. Although you'd be surprised how many Christians and/or religious are gay. God doesn't hate gays, Religion does. And the bible isn't the words of god, it is the words and beliefs of Paul, Matthew, Luke, Mark, which those four men are old archaic preachers for which their view is the pure truth. Sorry but even back in those days, they might have forget the age old game of little boys discovering each other behind the bushes. Would you really believe that they didn't do it? Or that they didn't like it. A sin is related to religion, therefore for me, because Religion is a sin in my book, I'm sinless.

I like your attitude to religion. I think that I am person like that because of upbringing. I can not stop thinking that God will punish me for my bad behaviour. It really hard to live, believe me I can not be myself, I am a person who every single move lean on religion or "family or what people will say?" . I will never be happy, becouse of that. So maybe will be better if I will born atheist family

Really, then stop building fences around yourself.

I do not want to hurt my potential girlfirend or boyfriend. Becouse in the future it seems that I can not life in that relationship. I do not want to hurt anyone. So maybe will be better if I will be alone.. I dont know why God made me? Many people killing themselves becouse they are homosexual, so maybe I should go this way..
I know, I know, I know. I am sorry X_X

There is no such things as a proper person, because you will need first to discover yourself and find out how proper you are yourself. Relationship or sex is a two sided arrow... what do you consider as being proper and do you believe you'd be proper for the other person. For me you wouldn't because you're religious, but I could be proper to you for whatever your reasons of what makes a person proper:cheers:

At last, Deef, you have a long way to go in the road of finding yourself... find that first and things will just follow the current. Just remember, people have walk on your path before, just like you they were scared, just like you they were questioning themselves, many have succeed, few are feeding the worms off their inanimate body. You don't want to get there

Maybe it is true...



Thanks guys so much, I really appreciate yours helping me. You are so lovely. :blushing:


PS. I am sorry for mistakes! :worried:

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

Oh my! I don`t know about him. Yes being gay is not probably more worse than being straight, but I still feeling like someone other of human population, like someone inferior. Yes I agree with you but definitely he has a problem with coming out. I feel sorry for him, I can not look on somebody who suffering... He told me really pervert things about LGTB. He was rude...

Next time you speak to him, just tell him that the LGBT aren't those guys dancing half naked or those girl wandering with their boobs flapping in the wind during the so-called (Pride parade). The LGBT has been created by gays for gays to help young adults like you and other gays to cope and accept their feelings, to learn what others doesn't know about what it is to be gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. The guy you spoke with will need the LGBT because soon or later the bubble will burst, and he'll face society. And society has no pity, no pity and no concerns. If he believes that being gay is some sort of weakness, trust me, it isn't. On a daily basis we are judge by all kind of social strata, group and the media. But we're not as deranged as a guy who kill his wife and kids.

Oh, I am so so sorry for you. It is a such difficult thing, personally I do not think that coming out is a way out of current situation, you know I going into university so I totally depend on my parents. When they will find out that I am bi/gay person they probably will hate me and they will not support me. I need their feelings for me. I love them but, I am so scared that they will not accept me.

I totally understand your situation, but you should at the same time prepare yourself to come out some day, maybe not now, but one day you'll have too. You won't live a lie all your life, turn 40 and depressing over what you missed when you were young. You will never know the reaction of your parents until you tell them, you can speculate, but you could also be very surprised. In general parents do not hate their children, they may be deceived by them but hateful:thinking: No. At least that goes for good parents who are prepared to see their child take another way that they drew for them. One day you'll have wings and you'll have to fly away from the nest. The job of being a parent never stops, but their tasks are redefined once the bird has left.

I like your attitude to religion. I think that I am person like that because of upbringing. I can not stop thinking that God will punish me for my bad behavior. It really hard to live, believe me I can not be myself, I am a person who every single move lean on religion or "family or what people will say?" . I will never be happy, because of that. So maybe will be better if I will born atheist family

:no: Being atheist doesn't remove the fact that some of them do not agree with the gay lifestyle or do not like gay people period. Atheist just means that we are not theist, that doesn't make them perfect beings. Like in every social group there's good people and bad ass. Trust me there's also a lot of dumb fucks in the atheist community

I do not want to hurt my potential girlfriend or boyfriend. Because in the future it seems that I can not life in that relationship. I do not want to hurt anyone. So maybe will be better if I will be alone.. I don't know why God made me? Many people killing themselves because they are homosexual, so maybe I should go this way..
I know, I know, I know. I am sorry X_X

Hmmm let's see, you do not want to hurt anyone, however take a stroll back in your childhood and I'm pretty sure that you'll find some occasions where you have hurt somebody, whether it was physically or psychologically, sometimes you don't even know that you've hurt someone because that someone decided not to tell its feelings. Everybody hurt and has been hurt sometime in their life and it will continue, it's the cycle of life Deef you can't escape it. Now speaking of hurting somebody, do you realize that you may have hurt someone just by writing that death would be a solution for you to end your dilemma? There's a lot of people on this forum, some are out, some are closeted, but I'm quite certain that it really hurt to see that a young man in the bud of his life want to kill himself because he's gay or bisexual. YOUR PARENTS would be extremely hurt if they were to loose their son. I am three time a dad and trust me that would be the worst that could happen alongside loosing my husband.

Also people doesn't kill themselves because they are homosexual, they kill themselves because of the forever ignorance of the people that surrounds them, the incomprehension from his peers, he feels alone, with nobody to talk to and this leads to the final exit. That's mostly the main reason of a homosexual killing himself, not because he's gay because he accepted it, but his surrounding didn't. Death never was a solution, you hurt so many people for many years, but you just don't care since you're forever asleep.

In this board you will find people to chat with, nobody will force you to go tell your parents right away, but just know that it's all a very long process, and that process starts by accepting who you are. Once you pass that first step things will get clearer I promise you that.:cheers:

 

[tonka]

You are going to a University, Deef? It's a place to learn, and go from a boy to a man. This might be the best time to explore things you could not as a boy. Are there gay people there?
People like you, who may not be ready to be out, but are gay? Your parents don't need to know.

You also seem to think of relationships as finding the perfect one, and making a life. That's a one in a million fairy tale. If you find someone you like and trust, give it a try. It might be great, and might help both of you understand who you really are, and what you want from life. You seem far from ready for THE one. Live a while, and be more ready.

It's good that you are here telling us about your problems. That tells me that you don't want to kill yourself. You want to live, and find your place. Remember that the world is changing. Gays are no longer the pariahs of the world. It's the best time in the history of the world to be young and gay.

Hang in there, and figure out your life.

 

[deef]

Next time you speak to him, just tell him that the LGBT aren't those guys dancing half naked or those girl wandering with their boobs flapping in the wind during the so-called (Pride parade). The LGBT has been created by gays for gays to help young adults like you and other gays to cope and accept their feelings, to learn what others doesn't know about what it is to be gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. The guy you spoke with will need the LGBT because soon or later the bubble will burst, and he'll face society. And society has no pity, no pity and no concerns. If he believes that being gay is some sort of weakness, trust me, it isn't. On a daily basis we are judge by all kind of social strata, group and the media. But we're not as deranged as a guy who kill his wife and kids.

He gave me order to be silent. Because he living in gay-universe like you told . I tried help him, but he only keep insulting me...:? . He told that every single gay is a person who loves having physical love - I pretty sure that you know what I mean.. :blushing:

I totally understand your situation, but you should at the same time prepare yourself to come out some day, maybe not now, but one day you'll have too. You won't live a lie all your life, turn 40 and depressing over what you missed when you were young. You will never know the reaction of your parents until you tell them, you can speculate, but you could also be very surprised. In general parents do not hate their children, they may be deceived by them but hateful:thinking: No. At least that goes for good parents who are prepared to see their child take another way that they drew for them. One day you'll have wings and you'll have to fly away from the nest. The job of being a parent never stops, but their tasks are redefined once the bird has left.

But that stupid feelings - embarrassment, shame and etc. . You know, I turned 19 years old and I feel that I passed the best time of my life. People in my age usually parties, meets new people, travels, have an affairing with people and do really diffrent things in their free time. What I doing in my free time? I just wondering about myself, about my sexual orientation, in my room, and I am depressed. And also I isolated form my few friends. So I do not have anyone, I just can not live that way. I am not strong enough.

:no: Being atheist doesn't remove the fact that some of them do not agree with the gay lifestyle or do not like gay people period. Atheist just means that we are not theist, that doesn't make them perfect beings. Like in every social group there's good people and bad ass. Trust me there's also a lot of dumb fucks in the atheist community

Yes, but.. my religion denounced gay people. If I will be atheist, I will not have not reproach on my conscience. I guess.

Hmmm let's see, you do not want to hurt anyone, however take a stroll back in your childhood and I'm pretty sure that you'll find some occasions where you have hurt somebody, whether it was physically or psychologically, sometimes you don't even know that you've hurt someone because that someone decided not to tell its feelings. Everybody hurt and has been hurt sometime in their life and it will continue, it's the cycle of life Deef you can't escape it. Now speaking of hurting somebody, do you realize that you may have hurt someone just by writing that death would be a solution for you to end your dilemma? There's a lot of people on this forum, some are out, some are closeted, but I'm quite certain that it really hurt to see that a young man in the bud of his life want to kill himself because he's gay or bisexual. YOUR PARENTS would be extremely hurt if they were to loose their son. I am three time a dad and trust me that would be the worst that could happen alongside loosing my husband.

Also people doesn't kill themselves because they are homosexual, they kill themselves because of the forever ignorance of the people that surrounds them, the incomprehension from his peers, he feels alone, with nobody to talk to and this leads to the final exit. That's mostly the main reason of a homosexual killing himself, not because he's gay because he accepted it, but his surrounding didn't. Death never was a solution, you hurt so many people for many years, but you just don't care since you're forever asleep.

In this board you will find people to chat with, nobody will force you to go tell your parents right away, but just know that it's all a very long process, and that process starts by accepting who you are. Once you pass that first step things will get clearer I promise you that.:cheers:

Yes, maybe I can single out that times when I hurted someone, but unknowingly. Or maybe under the influence of bad emotions but I still trying to be good person.
Death end of my dillema? hmm. I think that... yes?. I do not struggle with intolerant people and my psychological problems.
My death will bring some bad situtions for example expensive funeral or bad opinions of ours neighbors.
I watched movie here. About ignorace and intolerace. When guy told them parents ,they did not accept him, and he decied to die. it was so,so sad.

You are going to a University, Deef? It's a place to learn, and go from a boy to a man. This might be the best time to explore things you could not as a boy. Are there gay people there?
People like you, who may not be ready to be out, but are gay? Your parents don't need to know.

You also seem to think of relationships as finding the perfect one, and making a life. That's a one in a million fairy tale. If you find someone you like and trust, give it a try. It might be great, and might help both of you understand who you really are, and what you want from life. You seem far from ready for THE one. Live a while, and be more ready.

It's good that you are here telling us about your problems. That tells me that you don't want to kill yourself. You want to live, and find your place. Remember that the world is changing. Gays are no longer the pariahs of the world. It's the best time in the history of the world to be young and gay.

Hang in there, and figure out your life.

Thanks.
You know.. I do not meets gay people in my age. Only on the net. In my country lives really intolerant people. Maybe I will find my own place in the future. And also, to be honest I never meet a person which I felt in love...
I think that I am not ready to makes a something like hmm relationship.,
anyway, I am not interested in young guys :rolling eyes:

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

which country are you from Deef?

 

[Sinnerr]

Don't be shamed. Althought some people say homosexuality is sin or unnatural or sickness it's absolutely not true.

But it is only my "animal" nature.

Interesting point! I would say it's your nature. Mine too. The word "animal" should probably mean that it's something pervert something what is not decent for humans. But what is difference between animal and poeple? People are more clever. They can think. So they know that everyone will die one day. They are affraid about it. So they speculate and inviting religions. I'm somewhere between atheist-agnostic, but I strictly refuse all preachig. Just thinking myself. I know all religions tell that world and everything in it have been created by God. So all the people too. So how can any one judge or rate what God done well and what didn't. Same as homosexuality exist in animal kingdom it exist in humans world (everywhere). People are quite similar like monkeys. Only more clever, less hairy. I would say there are many things what we can learn from animals at all. They doesn't know peretnding, lieing, manipulations...

 

[deef]

which country are you from Deef?

I come from Poland.

People are quite similar like monkeys. Only more clever, less hairy.

Hmm, I think that it not include all people. - I`m only joking.

 

[Sinnerr]

It's good to see You're jokeing

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

I come from Poland.



Hmm, I think that it not include all people. - I`m only joking.

Ah that explains a bit your religious background

 

[SimplyJakeAndAlex]

He gave me order to be silent. Because he living in gay-universe like you told . I tried help him, but he only keep insulting me...:? . He told that every single gay is a person who loves having physical love - I pretty sure that you know what I mean.. :blushing:

Sure do, well too bad for him he'll have a very miserable life and I sure hope you won't follow his path.

But that stupid feelings - embarrassment, shame and etc. . You know, I turned 19 years old and I feel that I passed the best time of my life. People in my age usually parties, meets new people, travels, have an affair with people and do really different things in their free time. What I doing in my free time? I just wondering about myself, about my sexual orientation, in my room, and I am depressed. And also I isolated form my few friends. So I do not have anyone, I just can not live that way. I am not strong enough.

Ah Deef, you really believe that your best time in life is 19 years old? Teenagers goes through a lot from the day they hit 13 up to 25, building their identity, getting respect from peers, it's all if not only hell. I remember my teen and trust me there was more drama than real good time. Sure we go out on parties, clubbing, fall in love and all, and have teen sex but it's really all that is. Most teenagers goes through a rough time during their teen years. And that is not only for your country. Teenage is a difficult time... I met my husband he was 19 and he was going through that rough time, I was there for him to salvage him and show him another way of thinking.

Yes, but.. my religion denounced gay people. If I will be atheist, I will not have not reproach on my conscience. I guess.

Your religion is also mine you know, I define myself atheist but I still am baptized a roman catholic, I just dissociate myself from their philosophy and doctrine, so your religion denounced gay people, so does mine we're both catholic. On paper I'm Roman Catholic, in my mind I'm Jake and I do the fuck I want and those people can go rot in their make-belief hell if they don't agree with my lifestyle, I don't go around telling them what they should be or should do so why would they do the same?

Yes, maybe I can single out that times when I hurt someone, but unknowingly. Or maybe under the influence of bad emotions but I still trying to be good person.
Death end of my dilemma? hmm. I think that... yes?. I do not struggle with intolerant people and my psychological problems.
My death will bring some bad situations for example expensive funeral or bad opinions of ours neighbors.
I watched movie here. About ignorance and intolerance. When guy told them parents ,they did not accept him, and he decided to die. it was so,so sad.

Expensive funeral is the least of the issue, the hole that you will leave in the mind of people who appreciates and loves you is the big toll. You are loved by someone or many people at once. My only advice is that you need to prepare yourself to face the music. We all did it, some where much more luckiest than other, some had it very hard. My husband had it very hard, I didn't because I really didn't care what my parents would say and I was prepared to ban them from my life. It's your life and like everyone on this earth we are looking for happiness.

 

[tonka]

When your world goes not respect you, it's natural that you internalize those feelings. But you need to realize you are as good as anyone else.

EVERYONE has a sexual nature. It's an easy pathway for strait people to incorporate that into their everyday lives. Much harder for us.

Those who want to demonize us say we are rutting goats who think of nothing but fucking. It's nonsense. You're a whole person with many aspects.

There is a certain hedonistic aspect of gay life. If you are repressed and isolated as you grow up, you might go a little crazy for a while once you get past those restrictions. But it doesn't define us.

And certainly those hard times make us appreciate sexuality. After I write this, I'll go check out the porn.

 

[deef]

Sure do, well too bad for him he'll have a very miserable life and I sure hope you won't follow his path.

I hope that I will not follow him path. But what will be will be...

Ah Deef, you really believe that your best time in life is 19 years old? Teenagers goes through a lot from the day they hit 13 up to 25, building their identity, getting respect from peers, it's all if not only hell. I remember my teen and trust me there was more drama than real good time. Sure we go out on parties, clubbing, fall in love and all, and have teen sex but it's really all that is. Most teenagers goes through a rough time during their teen years. And that is not only for your country. Teenage is a difficult time... I met my husband he was 19 and he was going through that rough time, I was there for him to salvage him and show him another way of thinking.

Yup, I think that now its time to be delirious with joy, be kinda crazy, and will feel that I am living not only surviving, right Jake?

Your religion is also mine you know, I define myself atheist but I still am baptized a roman catholic, I just dissociate myself from their philosophy and doctrine, so your religion denounced gay people, so does mine we're both catholic. On paper I'm Roman Catholic, in my mind I'm Jake and I do the fuck I want and those people can go rot in their make-belief hell if they don't agree with my lifestyle, I don't go around telling them what they should be or should do so why would they do the same?

Hmm, wow, I can`t dissociate myself form my religion. I don`t know why, anyway you know how conservative is my mother country... But I agree with you, and I am admiring your attitude.

Expensive funeral is the least of the issue, the hole that you will leave in the mind of people who appreciates and loves you is the big toll. You are loved by someone or many people at once. My only advice is that you need to prepare yourself to face the music. We all did it, some where much more luckiest than other, some had it very hard. My husband had it very hard, I didn't because I really didn't care what my parents would say and I was prepared to ban them from my life. It's your life and like everyone on this earth we are looking for happiness.

I am not sure, that love me many people. Who loves me? only my teddy bear which I sleeping. Oh! stop laughing of me! :blushing: he is my friend. I know, I am infantile person. You banned your family? I can`t I love them unconditional love. Anyway, I have only them.

When your world goes not respect you, it's natural that you internalize those feelings. But you need to realize you are as good as anyone else.

EVERYONE has a sexual nature. It's an easy pathway for strait people to incorporate that into their everyday lives. Much harder for us.

For me sex is something strange, maybe I will be asexual-bi(gay?)romantic.
Oh.. who I am cheating? I can not change my sexual orientation rather ,right?

Those who want to demonize us say we are rutting goats who think of nothing but fucking. It's nonsense. You're a whole person with many aspects.

There is a certain hedonistic aspect of gay life. If you are repressed and isolated as you grow up, you might go a little crazy for a while once you get past those restrictions. But it doesn't define us.

I know its only stupid, intolerat stereotype. But.. I am still ashemed. Maybe with time I will agree with this fact.

And certainly those hard times make us appreciate sexuality. After I write this, I'll go check out the porn.

hahaha, I love you guys!

 

[bigsal]

Probably what I'm about to say will not help you much, indeed could affect you negatively.

Like you, I grew up in a Catholic environment, where the church is considered more important than family.

I made an altar boy for many years. I served Mass up to almost fifteen years. I took active part in all aspects of both religious and secular about the church. Basically I was almost a priest.

During this time, believe me, I have seen so many "filth" that no one can imagine.
I never try to list them all would not suffice because of the forum pages to contain them.

I also suffered harassment from those who preach against homosexuality from the pulpit.

When I read stories like yours, it makes me angry, because I understand the mood of that person.

Then the miracle (but not the divine).

At fifteen, I began to discover new interests.
Since my family was poor and could not make me continue my studies, I started going to public libraries, devouring books on literature, history, science, astronomy, in short, everything the church does not teach (or rather the obstacle).

I opened my eyes, slowly discovering all the lies that are told by religions. In practice, I stopped listening and started to use my head, my thoughts without building constraints.

I know I did the opposite of St. Paul, he was struck on the road to Damascus (so they want us to believe) I was struck by the freedom of thought and reason.

Sorry if I have dwelt, but this is an issue that can not be closed in two rows.

I lived in that environment, then I suggest you move with caution.

Be patient and wait for more favorable times.

As was mentioned in another post, if you go to college and other opportunities prospects.

I also agree with everything than said Jake, balanced and rational person, as always.

Good luck and if I can help somehow, let me know.

 

[tonka]

I turned away from the church at age 15 also. Not for any deep reason...just not for me. It was the first time I really defied my parents. They were very unhappy.

It is a sad thing the church has become. There were some wonderful years in the early sixties. Pope John the 23rd was elected and he started great changes. A god of love and compassion, a church becoming modern and open. I had a cousin who was very involved in this new church in liberation. But John was old and only lasted a few years.

They've been stamping out his spirit ever since. It especially sad from a gay perspective. Many of the bishops are gay (at least in America), but self hating and twisted. Not a church of love and compassion.A church of lies and curruption. I live a few blocks from the former headquarters of the archdiocise of Boston. A beautiful campus. It had to be sold off to settle the pedophile lawsuits. What had been one of the great archdoiceses of the new world is now a shell. Round after round of church and school closings. Even the good priests are now looked upon with great suspicion.

I have heard that the Polish church is very conservative and powerful, Deef. I hope it has some integrity as well.

 

[deef]

I opened my eyes, slowly discovering all the lies that are told by religions. In practice, I stopped listening and started to use my head, my thoughts without building constraints.

I admiring your attitude (similarly Jack`s and Tonka attitudes) ,but I`m strange person. I`m mentally really weak. But maybe with time I will achieve a much strong? and I will be strong enough to move from here. I hope so. I can`t dispose of thoughts connected with punish after death. Oh my. I`m so abnormal. :worried:

Good luck and if I can help somehow, let me know.

Thank you! I really appreciate it.

I have heard that the Polish church is very conservative and powerful, Deef. I hope it has some integrity as well.

Unforutantely it is true. I would like to live in Spain


You know guys, I decided that I will be alone/(virgin? :blushing: ) till my death. Will be better for me and for others. Definitely.