JonnyFantastico
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OK, I hope I don't overstep a boundary here on this one, because Jamie is talking about a parent whereas I'm referring to someone I wasn't even blood related to (but meant just as much to me), but I actually sort of/kind of did the letter thing. While my second mother was in the hospital, very close to death (I couldn't even see her then; it hurt too much to even think to see her in that much pain and unlike what I remembered her as); I ended up writing a letter not to her, but to her oldest daughter (she was well aware of the issues her mother and I had).
In it, with tears streaming down my face the heaviest they ever had been, I expressed everything I could never say. I apologized for what we went through, I apologized for not being strong enough to see her... the letter went on to express that I had never stopped loving her no matter what had occurred; that she still meant as much to me on that day as she did when she first entered my life as a child.
I sent the letter off and I felt a sense of peace I hadn't felt in some time.
In less than 12 hours after I had finished that letter, she passed and a part of me felt that somehow in some way; she heard what I had said.... there was also something else that happened about a week later that finally allowed me to let it go, but I won't share that here.
If anything, it helped me to realize that we may never get to fully express what we feel or what we need to say to those who love us, but on some subconscious level; they always know.
In it, with tears streaming down my face the heaviest they ever had been, I expressed everything I could never say. I apologized for what we went through, I apologized for not being strong enough to see her... the letter went on to express that I had never stopped loving her no matter what had occurred; that she still meant as much to me on that day as she did when she first entered my life as a child.
I sent the letter off and I felt a sense of peace I hadn't felt in some time.
In less than 12 hours after I had finished that letter, she passed and a part of me felt that somehow in some way; she heard what I had said.... there was also something else that happened about a week later that finally allowed me to let it go, but I won't share that here.
If anything, it helped me to realize that we may never get to fully express what we feel or what we need to say to those who love us, but on some subconscious level; they always know.
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you can count on us to keep you company for Xmas
