Is gay a choice?

[Sauron]

It's not a choice.

Many animals have omosexual behaves and many others are hermaphrodites. Think only that 1/3 of Albatross couples are female+female, and among the most homosexuals animals there's the American Bison.

It's almost sure that they can't choose, and for the hermaphrodites this isn't a problem at all.

Ending, you born gay; the only variables are how much time it takes to be discovered and then the way you decide to act and behave.

 

[greyone5]

been gay can be a choice and sometimes its thrust onto u u want the love of a father and u don't get it so u want the love of a man anyways it happens. and when ya in that stage of puberty when u seeing ya first woman naked but instead its a guy u change inside and pow ur atracted to men thats my thoughts lol

 

[name_1]

I'm surprised no one actually brought this up; what do you mean by choice? is involuntary choice still a choice? or is the choice you are referring to what one voluntarily does?

Involuntarily, I am attracted to guys(hot guys!!), not my choice
Voluntarily, I seek out a guy that can satisfy me (not only sexually, mind you!), my choice.
so i think that is why there are so many different answers here... or maybe i am wrong?

 

[borstel]

I think when you are bi sexual there can be is something as a choise. But when you fall in love with someone why should you bother if it is a man or woman.
When you are gay there is a according to me scientifacly proven that you have no choise.

 

[agwydyon]

So my point was: It doesn't matter if you're gay or str8 when you're buying vegetables in a supermarket.

But I haven't answered your question :worried:

I'm only answering to this particular statement because it was the first I came across, and I was pestered to by the forum. silly forum...

you're not gay when you pick out vegetables at the supermarket, I guess. I mean, one could argue that a preference for shaft-like objects might... well, anyway.

my point I guess is that you're not a tangerine, nor are you lysol, kleenex, balloon animals, sunshine, or homicide if you're grocery shopping. again, loosely. but if gay simply applies to your actions and not a point of view (maybe better described as a point of reference, one that you don't always have in your line of view), I'm not sure you've really thought about what it means to be gay. we all have commonalities and differences of preference and opinion but... being gay isn't on or off a shopping list.

labels have gotten a bad reputation somehow with a lot of people. they're just words. but if you actually understand words and how they're used and where they should be used and where they shouldn't be used and how to imagine them creatively and how to throw them out passively or reject them definitively and... well, I'm not sure groceries and words deserve the same treatment.

my words might seem foppish, but I'd say mine is the general assessment of the English language at any intermediate level, so let me assure you that I'm not on any committee or anything. I don't even pass for gay typically. but isn't that in itself a dangerous mentality? why should anyone have to fear living on the edge, where some might have a word to define who and what you are? I guess I'm no better than any of these other fags, not to label anyone, not that labels have any meaning. pass the grapefruit.

 

[Askani]

been gay can be a choice and sometimes its thrust onto u u want the love of a father and u don't get it so u want the love of a man anyways it happens. and when ya in that stage of puberty when u seeing ya first woman naked but instead its a guy u change inside and pow ur atracted to men thats my thoughts lol

What...what...WHAT?!?! Sounds a bit weird, even if u want the love of a father and cant have it... u wont look for a man to fill the void and fuck him or be fucked by him, that, also could be applicable if it was something that only happened between guys of different ages... (like 20-40) which isnt the only case here... I believe that EVERY gay sees another guy naked first... since there's gym class, clubs and other places that forces us to undress with the same sex and have embarassing public hard ons... *cough... Oh well... Just leaving a comment... dont even know how to finish this post cuz I'm late for my class xD

 

[Askani]

My question? Why should one rule be applied to us all. Is it possible that for some folks it is genetic, for some social, and for others it is a mix of both. Perhaps there are not just two broad factors --nature and nuture. Perhaps there is a third, a fourth, and even a thousandth reality that the scientist is not even aware of. Who we are and what we are is a mixed bag of nuts! And it's a good thing too... how boring the world would become it we tried to apply one rule and one certainty to everyone or everything.

Maybe it's just a matter of "trigger". For some it comes naturally, while others have to undergo certain experiences/situations for the "gay gene" to kick in xD

 

[grg5]

Every male has BE components in his soul. All the rest is the random choce and cirstances. And it is a pity.

PS: Apologises the tremendous English.

 

[bulldg]

It's not a choice. have known since I was very young that I was attracted more to men.

 

[Askani]

Every male has BE components in his soul. All the rest is the random choce and cirstances. And it is a pity.

PS: Apologises the tremendous English.

Dont worry about the typos, I'm the typo king myself xD just welcome aboard!

 

[json11]

Gay is not a choice. You are born who you are. End of sentence. It is nature not nurture.

 

[LuiM]

I see majority here assumes that if something is genetic, it's not a choice.

I say being gay can be genetic, but this doesn't mean it isn't a choice at the same time!

Many people have different kinds of genetic inclinations. For example to pessimism or alcoholism (these inclinations were proved as genetic) but many people have chosen to fight them and were successful at it. They just needed more energy and will to become more optimistic or not to drink alcohol.

I believe every human being is more or less bisexual inside. But later in life - according to your experiences you choose certain lifestyles. Consciously. When I found out I like boys I chose to do more search in gay world. I could choose another way and try the str8 world. But I should do that on time, because after additional experiences it was already too late. I admit today I can't choose to be str8. And I also admit I don't want to (which sounds like a choice).

My point is I don't accept the idea that I was blindly driven just by genes. That I had no free will in all this. I also don't believe str8s are driven by genes only. Many many str8s had at least one gay experience in their lives. But they chose to keep on with str8 lifestyle.

 

[BugsyB]

I believe there is an entire spectrum of sexualities --but being mere humans we deny this. We like categories, little boxes and labels, black and white... we like to think the world is nice and neat, and ordered. For me, being gay means being at a certain point on the spectrum:

Gay[--------*--------------------------]Straight

I think that when we actually believe (and feel in our hearts --it does feel very real) that this is the case:

Gay[*----------------------------------]Straight

or

Gay[----------------------------------*]Straight

...well this is when society (be it mainstream culture, or the gay sub-culture) had 'tidied up' our identities for us.

But I believe in possibilities --the little star can even move a little to the right, or a little to the left, as the months and years go by. But it is hard to accept. It would mean everyone is unique, and different and an individual. But do we really want to be individuals?? No. We want to be the SAME. To 'fit'... even if it is just to fit into a sub-culture (i.e. gay 'community').

???

same? are you kidding? i want to be sooooo diffrent but...im still gay lol

 

[BugsyB]

I'm surprised no one actually brought this up; what do you mean by choice? is involuntary choice still a choice? or is the choice you are referring to what one voluntarily does?

Involuntarily, I am attracted to guys(hot guys!!), not my choice
Voluntarily, I seek out a guy that can satisfy me (not only sexually, mind you!), my choice.
so i think that is why there are so many different answers here... or maybe i am wrong?

what i mean is this: would you choose to be gay?

 

[ozmark]

It is definitely not a choice. I am undecided on whether it is genetics, environment or (probably) both (or whether that even matters).

 

[blackdicks]

Society wants it to be a choice.
It should be about happiness.

 

[fruechtchen1]

what kind of stuff are you looking for when you are alone and serving for porne? so you know that you have no choice^^

 

[Phryxis]

nope, not a choice.

 

[Ecclesies]

Not a choice.

I've been mucking around a while with this. So far what T've come up with, is that with the majority of the homosexual population, it's a subconscious coping mechanism. Either for a traumatic event (rape, neglect, etc), or due to an imbalance, or broken family structure. Personally it would be a combination of both for me. Then again, that's just a theory.

It's not something you choose, although you are free to choose it. What I mean is that most people do not choose it, they just are. But there are many who choose the "lifestyle" for the benefits. However I do not place these people in the category of homosexual, because they do not get the entire experience. They merely piggy-back on the benefits of our sub-society, without having to face as much (if any) of the negative aspects. I personally tend to have animosity towards them, even if they are delicious slabs of meat...

I am against the genetics answer because I don't believe that genetics determine perception of the world (or the people in it)

I am also against the nature answer because until i was about 13, i didn't give a rat's poop about who was who. If you liked Tonka trucks and Power Rangers, you were my best friend, no questions asked. It was when I was 13, did I ever even think about going further than that.

Nutshell: It can't be nature because you are born liking everyone to X amount. Once you reach a certain maturity level (almost regardless of age), it is at that point when factors are taken into account when determining who you find attractive; which may, or may not include the experiences of the past.

50TH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[raisinboy]

My point is I don't accept the idea that I was blindly driven just by genes. That I had no free will in all this. I also don't believe str8s are driven by genes only. Many many str8s had at least one gay experience in their lives. But they chose to keep on with str8 lifestyle.

But one gay experience doesn't make you gay. It doesn't even make you bi. You're still straight (you just were curious - or drunk ). The straight friends I know who experimented and went on being straight did so because the gay experience didn't satisfy them. It was a choice not to experiment any further, yes, but it was based on the fact that they are just not into men.

Like, I guess I could keep it up long enough to sleep with a woman. But the fact that I just don't want to makes me gay. And that's not something I chose. I don't even think I chose it unconsciously. I just noticed it as soon as I got into puberty.