Is gay a choice?

[chema]

I like boys. It is not a choice: I like them better than girls.
It is not only for sex. It is a way to be in this world.

 

[gb2000ie]

I think it is I dont believe its because we are born with it. I think it depends the environment you grew up in like had a mom or dad or both mom and dad or mom and mom or dad and dad or if you were abuse of any type.On a side note it maybe because we are born by it like for examples I hear orcas yes killer whales are gay some of them.

You seem to be arguing that it's nurture rather than nature, but that still doesn't make it a choice!

Bart.

 

[wowzeroonie]

It's something from birth, not a choice.

 

[Casp]

I think its not a choice to be gay, but its a choice to be happy with it.

 

[petrovic]

This is a recent letter I wrote to the president of a christian university after his reply to my initial letter:

This will be our last correspondence as you will agree that we will not agree. I just want to write one last time hoping this will touch you in some way.

I am, as you probably already guessed, a gay male. What you do not know is that I have always been a gay male since I can remember. I grew up in the 80's which was far more difficult than today, but that does not take away from what young gay people are living.

What I would really like you to understand, as a Christian leader in today' society, is that if any of us had a choice to be gay or straight, do you really think anyone would choose to be a person that is demonized on a regular basis? Do you really think any one of us would choose to live a life of prejudice and hate if we had any choice? Being gay is not a choice. Who would choose such a difficult life? And before you say that homosexuality can be cured by religious therapy, remember all those religious leaders who said the same thing just before they were caught in bed with their gay lovers. And on the same note, pedophilia is considered a psychiatric disease, homosexuality is not. Polygamy is truly a choice, homosexuality is not.

I have been living in a committed long term monogamous relationship of 11 years with the same person, and what you need to understand is that it is not at all about sex; it is about love. Being gay is not about whom you want to have sex with, it is not about sexuality, it is about who you love with all your heart, who you want to share with, who you want to grow old with, and finally, who you want to spend your last days with after a lifetime of love. Sound familiar?

Because of Christian beliefs, especially in the U.S., there are more and more young people committing suicide because non gay people are taught that it is alright to belittle and bully gay youth, and these teachings are spearheaded by the church’s non-denial of such actions. I ask you sir: what kind of religion, based on the teachings of Christ, encourages violence (whether passive or aggressive) on someone who is different from them? Once again, please do not say you do not condone violence against gay youth when your website clearly states that homosexuals are not welcome. What message do you think this projects on your students or on parents who do not know that their child is gay? Do you realize that every time the church says that being gay is not right you teach people with lesser capacities that it is alright to discriminate? Please be aware of your power, and responsibilities, over the masses and teach the words of truth.

If the church does not agree with homosexuality because of six verses out of a million, then that is its prerogative; but please, at least follow the word of your saviour and teach tolerance, and please do this proactively. If there was one single person in the history of mankind that believed in tolerance and acceptance, it was the founder of your church.

Please make him proud.

 

[name_1]

Wow, interesting post petrovic... i wonder what the president of that Christian university would say...

 

[weydowner]

petrovic.
Terrific letter but I don't think it will change the mind of any devout christian, intelligent or stupid. This man - I assume it is a man since women are still, with some exceptions, inferior in the world of most sects of christianity - has passed his whole life with the belief that homosexuals are sinners and aberrant, and like most christians has the words in the Bible to fall back on. Logic has nothing to do with it. True christian feeling has nothing to do with it. Good sense has nothing to do with it.
Maybe, in a generation or two, society might have an effect on those branches of christianity that haven't accepted it yet; signs are promising.
If the Pope accepted homosexuality (& women priests) that would be a massive change. Don't count on it though
If any of these churches change their views on gayness, it implies that they have been giving false information to their followers for generations, so look forwards to splits and schisms and even more new churches. Sigh.

 

[gb2000ie]

I tip my hat to you sir - that is one fantastic piece of writing. Eloquent, logical, and yet from the heart.

It must have taken a lot of effort to write that, and even if it doesn't breach the dyke of biggotry, it must have made a dent. Letters like this do make a difference - slowly, but they do.

Thanks!

B.

This is a recent letter I wrote to the president of a christian university after his reply to my initial letter:

This will be our last correspondence as you will agree that we will not agree. I just want to write one last time hoping this will touch you in some way.

I am, as you probably already guessed, a gay male. What you do not know is that I have always been a gay male since I can remember. I grew up in the 80's which was far more difficult than today, but that does not take away from what young gay people are living.

What I would really like you to understand, as a Christian leader in today' society, is that if any of us had a choice to be gay or straight, do you really think anyone would choose to be a person that is demonized on a regular basis? Do you really think any one of us would choose to live a life of prejudice and hate if we had any choice? Being gay is not a choice. Who would choose such a difficult life? And before you say that homosexuality can be cured by religious therapy, remember all those religious leaders who said the same thing just before they were caught in bed with their gay lovers. And on the same note, pedophilia is considered a psychiatric disease, homosexuality is not. Polygamy is truly a choice, homosexuality is not.

I have been living in a committed long term monogamous relationship of 11 years with the same person, and what you need to understand is that it is not at all about sex; it is about love. Being gay is not about whom you want to have sex with, it is not about sexuality, it is about who you love with all your heart, who you want to share with, who you want to grow old with, and finally, who you want to spend your last days with after a lifetime of love. Sound familiar?

Because of Christian beliefs, especially in the U.S., there are more and more young people committing suicide because non gay people are taught that it is alright to belittle and bully gay youth, and these teachings are spearheaded by the church’s non-denial of such actions. I ask you sir: what kind of religion, based on the teachings of Christ, encourages violence (whether passive or aggressive) on someone who is different from them? Once again, please do not say you do not condone violence against gay youth when your website clearly states that homosexuals are not welcome. What message do you think this projects on your students or on parents who do not know that their child is gay? Do you realize that every time the church says that being gay is not right you teach people with lesser capacities that it is alright to discriminate? Please be aware of your power, and responsibilities, over the masses and teach the words of truth.

If the church does not agree with homosexuality because of six verses out of a million, then that is its prerogative; but please, at least follow the word of your saviour and teach tolerance, and please do this proactively. If there was one single person in the history of mankind that believed in tolerance and acceptance, it was the founder of your church.

Please make him proud.

 

[Irishman25]

is gay a choice??

its a deep passionate desire for cock

 

[json11]

Gay is certainly not a choice no matter what people try to make you believe.

 

[melove87]

I don't really think it's a choice, and was probably something pre-existing and supressed in people who made a "decision" to go gay. But I've never actually met someone who made a conscious decision to do so.

 

[RuG]

no it's definitely not a choice. if it was a choice then today i'll be gay and next year i'll be straight and the year after i'll be gay again and switch whenever and wherever i please to do so.

there's nothing wrong to be gay to begin with...

 

[pxj69]

For me it was not a choice. I knew at a very early age that I was attracted to other men.

I believe being gay is is purely genetic and cannot be changed any more than you could change your eye color.

 

[frontlemon]

Polygamy

Nicely written deep from heart. But i have another question - cant we love more than one person what's wrong in that (if its not all about sex)

 

[hobnoblin]

No, it is not a choice. I wasted years denying it, fighting it, and praying to an imaginary God to change it. Why would I have done those things if I could've simply CHOSE to be straight?

Y'see, the fundies have a problem. They want to persecute homosexuals, but they want to seem all Christ-like while they do it. And since even THEY can see that punishing someone for cirstances beyond their control is out-and-out EVIL, they created the idea that we choose to be gay. Thus, they satisfy themselves that their hateful agenda is justified.

It's all just spin. Just like their claim that hate crimes laws are actually attacks on Christians because it stops them from "exercising their faith" by stirring up hatred against us.

 

[Minos]

not a choice, it is a condition

 

[htiek123]

I mean, who would really chose it? Ask a straight person; did they chose to be straight? It they say yes, then say "Wow, so you considered being gay", I mean when you chose you look at all options!!! Right!!!

It is defiantly something that is given to you before birth!

 

[the other]

It is not a choice.

 

[hawtsean]

not certain if being gay is totally genetic (nature) of if it is also affected in some way by life experiences even as a young kid (nurture). whatever it ends up as, gay is a sexual orientation but the active sexual stuff I do is my choice.

 

[gb2000ie]

No, it is not a choice. I wasted years denying it, fighting it, and praying to an imaginary God to change it. Why would I have done those things if I could've simply CHOSE to be straight?

Y'see, the fundies have a problem. They want to persecute homosexuals, but they want to seem all Christ-like while they do it. And since even THEY can see that punishing someone for cirstances beyond their control is out-and-out EVIL, they created the idea that we choose to be gay. Thus, they satisfy themselves that their hateful agenda is justified.

It's all just spin. Just like their claim that hate crimes laws are actually attacks on Christians because it stops them from "exercising their faith" by stirring up hatred against us.

Well said sir - well said!

The reality is that the 'persecution' of Christians at the moment is nothing more than the removal of their past privileged position. Christians has more than equal rights, they had an effective monopoly, and got to influence the levers of power. Now, they are being forced to accept equal treatment and they're as mad about it as the Queen would be if you took her privilege away and treated her like any other old age pensioner!

B.