Is gay a choice?

[mrduke]

Personally, I believe it is genetics, just like the gene that determines eye color. As an example, my eyes are green, my dad's were grey, my moms, saphire blue, my sibilings, all brown. I can remember my first sexual experience at age 3.

Whilst an above comment mentioned environment as a cause (I have to admit it has a lot of weight) I happened to think it is chromosomial.

 

[Billy42]

No

 

[sopranix]

I think there are same very interesting answers here, now here's my 5 cents:

Beeing attracted by the same sex is not a choice. It might be in our genes. Which I don't believe - the genes are far more complex than that. Otherwise, genetically identical twins would share the same taste etc. which they don't. Early sexual experiences (not necessarily intercourse, but fighting, touching, seeing each other naked etc.) and social influences imho play a more important role (though I don't believe in the "weak father figure" theory). It is interesting that there are statistics that say that some 25% of all male teenagers in puberty are likely to be gay, and it was said before that a lot of str8 guys had gay experienced in their life. So puberty is an important time to find one's own sexual identity - and in our case, our experiences just made us gay. Please keep in mind that not all gays are the same: while some are attracted by muscular men or even bears, a lot others prefer smooth twinky bodies. There's not only one kind of gay.

What we make out of this sexual preference is more or less our choice, depending on the level of personal freedom we enjoy in our home countries and our boldness. It's out choice to live openly as gays or stay alone and hide. But that's a different topic.

 

[sopranix]

Sorry guys, it doesn't really belong to the discussion, but ihave to leave this for raisinboy:



:rofl:

I thought of the Calvin and Hobbes cartoons and their "GROSS" club (there are more cartoons than this one) when I saw the picture underneath your last post!

But this also reminds me of a story a friend (female) told me some time ago. Her little boy - maybe 8 years old by that time - asked her what "beeing gay" meant and she said: "That is, if you like boys more than girls.". He thought for a few seconds and said: "Mom, I think I'm gay then!". Of course she laughed, but at that age - who really was interested in girls?

 

[raisinboy]

So puberty is an important time to find one's own sexual identity - and in our case, our experiences just made us gay.

I value your opinion, but I can't figure out for the life of me what kind of experiences could have made me gay.

@ sopranix: I love Calvin & Hobbes :heart: And your anecdote rings also true.

 

[zuftih57]

It's not a choice. It's a condition, like being black, white ...red haired (lol)...

 

[mkanders08]

No

 

[jaxfltop]

I am bi. I prefer girls for relationships, but usually have better (more often also) sex with guys. I don't think it is a choice for most people though.I know people that get physically sick thinking about being with the opposite sex, just like i know people that feel that way about the same sex.

 

[mem]

No. Not to me. Or I don't remember when I choose to be gay.

 

[gemini1969]

no choice, i' m gay .why no ask at Straight when had choice of are be Straight?
(sorry for my very bad engl.but i'm italian,and is very long time i dont use this linguage)

 

[robphil]

Hi, I'm sure we are born this way, just look at all the examples of "gay lifestyles" in all of the animal kingdom. My favourites are gay swans, they mate for life!

 

[ethanhenderson]

I don't think it's a choice. To the people who say it's a choice, I say why would anyone choose to be discriminated? Choose to be targeted by those that hate them? Choose to be told they're going to hell or that god doesn't love them. Choose to be shunned by family?

No one in their right mind would choose something like that.

I've been in relationships with women, I've had crushes on men. I've had sex with women, and I've done sexual acts with guys. The way I look at it is you like who you like. Putting labels on it only makes things complicated IMO.

*btw I've been lurking here for months. I read through this thread and thought this would be a good place as ever to make my first post *

 

[XMan101]

I don't think it's a choice. To the people who say it's a choice, I say why would anyone choose to be discriminated? Choose to be targeted by those that hate them? Choose to be told they're going to hell or that god doesn't love them. Choose to be shunned by family?

No one in their right mind would choose something like that.

I've been in relationships with women, I've had crushes on men. I've had sex with women, and I've done sexual acts with guys. The way I look at it is you like who you like. Putting labels on it only makes things complicated IMO.

*btw I've been lurking here for months. I read through this thread and thought this would be a good place as ever to make my first post *

Welcome Ethanhenderson, good to hear from you

Do keep posting

 

[jw4833]

Being gay is not a choice. It is a natural feeling within you. Think about it...with all the ridicule and humiliation that a gay person goes through in life..why would one choose to be gay??? Being gay is something that you can turn on and off..its a part of you.

 

[Tjerk12]

I have a few places where I like to get tickled. Technically spoken it are sensors, which arouse voltage. Transported to the brain they transform into feelings. But the effect seems to be influenced by mental factors. Getting fucked by a silicone copy of the penis of Brent Corrigan will arouse less emotion than getting fucked by the champ himself. Forcing your fantasy into a situation that it actually is Brent, can help a little, but it still will be a dildo. Obviously you are not able to fool your mind. Some basic feelings are preset in your brain and seem to be unchangeable. Your sensors can only reach the maximum voltage under that preset conditions. Feeling Gay seems therefore to be preset. But there is more to life than sex. Living a Gay life, or behaving Gay, is another matter. For example I would never behave Gay. I consider my sexual presets as a private matter. It is my choice who gets knowledge of it. Living Gay is a far more difficult part. It depends on many cirstances. Advantages, and disadvantages. Choices to make, trying to reach the most profitable result.
Is Gay a choice seems a short and simple question, but the answer is extremely complex.

 

[alexfot55]

It does not start as a choice but the sooner it becomes the better.

 

[epicness83]

I dont think its a choice either.

Like with me for example. I'm 28 done nothing but date women, And during that time I never felt any emotion or connection with the women never wanted to be there really. Never understood why and then one day I just couldnt muster any enthusiasm as to try and date.

Then I started talking to Richard (my bf) and straight away I felt a connection and that confirmed what I had already suspected but was to afraid to admit to myself. Now me and Richard have been together 1 month 2 weeks and I've never been happier.

To me and I don't mean to offend anyone but the few people that I have encountered at Gay bars etc that say its a choice have been people who have not been 100% confident in who they are or who are looking to make excuses for living their lives in a way that makes them happy x

 

[epicness83]

I agree wholeheartedly. Being gay is not a choice any more than being hetero is a choice. Do the straights ever get asked when did they choose to be straight? Is their sexuality a mere choice? It implies that it is, since the 'other' sexual choice is, in their tiny minds, a mere choice. Do they remain straight in the face of discrimination and condemnation, and yes, even fear for your life?

It is sad that in our society, your sexuality influences the way people look at you. They don't even let you live openly in peace. I'm a scientist (a biologist) and a pretty good one at that (established, respected, and all that BS). But if I came out, my credibility would fall to zero. People believe you have deceived them and you are now untrustworthy. I say this because I've seen it during my career, where twice someone has come out and the reaction was very negative. One resigned in the face of the turmoil, the other stuck it out.

I've ranted too long as usual, but gay is not a choice!

:cheers:db

I know what you mean Deadbluff about losing credibility. In my job I was always the guy asked to do extra shifts, Do managerial work etc then I told one of the girls at work I was in a relationship with another guy and it spread like wildfire at work. Now they are obviously trying to find a reason to get rid of me cause my hrs have been slashed and I'm regularly not paid on time. If being gay was a choice why would you choose all that negativity.

 

[epicness83]

:thumbs up: You go, dude! :thumbs up:

I'm glad for you that you were able to work it all out in your head and discover your real self. Best wishes to both of you in your relationship!

:thumbs up:db

Thanks Deadbluff :cheers:

 

[loveless92]

I don't think it is a choice. I think it's prevalent, but just needs some time to grow and grow, which is why like I was "straight" in middle school and then became interested in guys in high school.