Porn Hater here --- lol. If you only knew how untrue that is. My critiques are multifaceted because I’ve liked and watched more than my share of the stuff. What I hope is that, rather than be too offended, producers will listen up and at least try to improve their product.
Last night I watched a flick with some of those amazing euro physiques, but there was this constant drone from beginning to end. Guys screaming, grunting and moaning with every thrust, every suck, every kiss. The cacophony became so irritating and monotonous that it wrecked the whole movie, making it unwatchable without the sound turned completely off. Just sad.
Do men really have sex that way? Some men maybe. But I like strong, silent types --- guys with the traditional male demeanor. Guys that try damn hard to avoid showing any emotion, but when the Big O gets close they can’t help it and a few squeaks, moans, and yelps break loose, coupled with a major repertoire of genuine
faces that turn me on like practically nothing else.
I like real emotion --- not the shit-tard noisemaker fakery that’s all too common these days, especially in euro porn. Sometimes it almost seems like the models are desperate for cash, so they’re trying to improve sales by showing us all what hysterical
mers they are. That just makes it sad, not exciting --- no matter how studly the model may be.
While these Oscar contenders are bellowing like a herd of half-slaughtered wildebeest, what are the neighbs doing? Ever wondered that? I mean, I’ve never known guys to make constant loud noise during sex, and if they did, it seems like someone would ding them for disturbing the ‘hood and its general peace. Or are they all having sex in the soundproofed confines of gated estates? I don’t think so.
Anyway, esteemed producers of porn, please let your models do what comes naturally. Don’t encourage them to stink up the airwaves with all that bovine wailing. As I’ve said before, porn watchers are seeking authenticity, not acting. If a model’s sounds and expressions are too boring, we’d all be better off if you simply moved on to the next model. If they’re boring in any way, they shouldn’t be in porn.
I agree with the guy who loves kissing and tender foreplay. Me too. But I hate it when tender moments are interrupted by sudden loud noises like doors slamming, large objects tipping over and whacking the floor, obnoxious ringtones going off, photo equipment jostling around and distorting the hell outta the mic. Can’t these disturbances be edited out?
When I think of all the postcoital bliss that has been interrupted by cam men suddenly booming, “Well, well, Mr. So-and-So. How did that feel?” Who wants to hear what the invisibles have to say? Nobody. Why do you have to humiliate your gifted models and make them do girly stuff like wave goodbye? Instead of acting out your jealousy and age-related frustrations, why don’t you show the models and your viewers some respect by letting the scenes play out and end naturally. Are you really that anxious to alert everyone to how fake your product is?
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